Ghosts We Carry Home.

It had started to get dark. The sun had set, and there was just a little bit of sunshine left. None of us said something for quite a while. We wanted to tell each other so many things, but we couldn’t find the words.

“Jack, can you leave me alone for a few minutes, please?” Alex asked.

“Sure,” Jack said.

“Does he want me to leave, too?” I asked.

“Mel wants to know if she should leave as well,” Jack said.

“No,” Alex smiled. “Stay, Melanie, please.”

I smiled, too.

“Later,” Jack said just before he closed the door behind his back.

“This is just like talking to myself, right?” Alex asked. “Only now there’s someone listening.”

“So it’s pretty much the same, because I was listening to you back then, too,” I said. It didn’t matter that Alex couldn’t hear it.

“I wish there was a way you could talk to me,” Alex said.

“Without Jack,” he added after a few seconds.

“Me, too,” I said. I sighed and went to sit next to Alex.

“If I could, I would save your soul tonight,” Alex said.

“I know,” I whispered. “I know.”

“You take my breath away, you know,” Alex said. He looked at his shoes because he didn’t know where else to look. I could be standing everywhere.
“A girl that I’ve never seen before takes my breath away.”

“A boy that doesn’t hear me, would be able to make my heart beat again,” I said to Alex.

“At first I thought I’d lost my mind. I felt things I shouldn’t feel, I dreamed about the same girl every night,” Alex continued as if I had never interrupted him. In his world, I hadn’t.
I didn’t talk any longer, I just listened.

“But now I don’t really care anymore, ‘cause I know you are here tonight, and I can really live with that thought.”

I looked at Alex and saw that he was smiling. I touched Alex his cheek with my hand and slowly moved it to his lips. He trembled.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“I wish I could hold you in my arms. That’s not possible, is it?”

“No, not really,” I said. “The other way around would work, I think.”

Alex didn’t say anything anymore. He just stared in front of him, smiling.

“Do you know I almost placed myself into another body so that I could be with you?” I asked.
Alex didn’t respond.

“I didn’t do it, ‘cause Jack told me I wouldn’t remember you. So it wasn’t worth it. If I had the choice between living with you, but like this or living without knowing you, I’d know what I’d pick. I would even die again if I’d have to.”

It was a pity that Alex couldn’t hear the words I said to him.

“You would probably not believe it, but this is the most beautiful moment in my entire live. It really is.”

“I’ll play a song for you,’ Alex said. He took his guitar and started playing. The melody sounded familiar, and I really liked it. Alex started to sing, and like always, he sounded like an angel.

“He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Started making his way past two in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days
Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs.”

I knew this song. I was sure that I’d heard it many times before, it sounded so familiar. Alex didn’t stop singing, but I didn’t really listen anymore. I tried to figure out where I had heard this song before. And all of the sudden, I sang along.

“I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt
Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair
And out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world from so many thousands
Of feet off the ground
I'm over you now, I'm at home in the clouds
And towering over your head.”

Alex stopped playing and singing, and looked at me.

“That song’s called Remembering Sunday, it’s from our last record,” he said.
I was frozen, I couldn’t move anymore.

“I knew you,” I stuttered. “I knew you! You’re the guy from Remembering Sunday, you’re the one who sings Casey’s favorite song! Why didn’t I notice this sooner? I’m such an idiot.”

I smiled and shook my head.

“It doesn’t really matter anymore, does it?”

“I love you,” Alex said. His eyes were watery, and little tears made a path on his cheeks again. It wasn’t the same as it used to be. He was crying because he was happy, not because he was forlorn.

“I love you, too,” I said, and I started to cry for the same reason.

I wondered how this scene would’ve looked like. Alex sitting alone, talking to himself, smiling with his thoughts, but yet crying.
We cried for only a few seconds, and after that we just sat in silence. I looked at Alex, and saw that he looked so happy. There was a knock on the door, and Jack’s head appeared.

“Well, hello, Jack,” I smiled.

“Hi,” Jack said. “You look happy. Both of you. What did you guys do when I was gone?”

“She’s happy?” Alex asked. I could hear the surprised tone in his voice.

“Of course she is,” Jack answered. “Why wouldn’t she be?”

“I don’t know,” Alex said.

“Can you tell him something?” I asked. Jack nodded.

“Tell Alex that I love him, and that I will always remember him.”

“She loves you, and she will never forget you,” Jack said.

“Let him know that I will wait for him on the other side.”

“She wants you to know that she belongs with you, and that she’ll wait for you.”

“But he does have to live his life and take his time,” I added. “I want him to fall in love with girls, get married, and maybe have babies.”

“But she wants you to live your life, and she wants you to fall in love, get married, have babies, and more.”

“She looks so big-hearted,” Alex said.

“She is,” Jack told him. “She really is.”

“I wish I had the chance to know her better,” Alex sighed.

“You know me, Alex. You think you don’t, but you really do,” I said.

“She says that you know her more than you realize.”

A big smile appeared on Alex’s face.

“Is she leaving?” he asked. Jack looked at me.

“Are you?” he asked unsure.

“I feel like my time has come, but the Light’s not here yet.”

“She says that it feels like her time has come, but that she still can’t see the Light yet.”

“Oh,” Alex said. “I don’t really understand all of this, but you’ll probably explain it all to me.”

“Of course,” Jack confirmed.

“You look tired, Alex,” I said. “Close your eyes and try to sleep.”

“She says you look tired, and she wants you to get some sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep, not before I know she’s safe and well.”

“There’s nothing that can happen to me, Alex, I’ve never been so safe in my whole life.”

“She says that she’s on the safest place imaginable.”

“And I’ll come to see you if my time has come, I promise,” I smiled.

“And she’ll come to see you before she crosses over.”

“Promise?” Alex asked.

“Yes,’ Jack and I both said at the same time. “It’s a promise.”