Ghosts We Carry Home.

Jack and I stayed with Alex until he fell asleep. We whispered quietly while we were walking to Jack’s room. I didn’t tell Jack that I had known them, I didn’t feel like telling. It wasn’t important anymore.

“It’s snowing,” Jack said.
I looked out of the window and saw little snowflakes swirling in the air.
“It’s so beautiful,” I said. “Can we go outside? Please?”

“You want to go outside?” Jack asked.

“Yes,” I confirmed. “I want to see the snow.”

“You can see it from here, too,” Jack said.

“That’s not the same.”

I took Jack’s hand and ran to the door. Jack pulled it open, and I jumped outside.
“This is so cool,” I laughed.

“This is so cold,” Jack said.

I twirled around in the snow and laughed.
“What are you doing?” Jack asked.

“I’m twirling,’ I answered. “You should do it, too.”

“I’m not wearing a twirly dress,” Jack smiled.

“Does it look like I’m wearing a twirly dress?” I laughed. “I’ve been wearing a pair of old jeans and a shirt that’s way too big for me for a month now. I look like a guy.”

“No, I like you in it,” Jack said.

“You should see me in a dress,” I said when I started to twirl again.

“Twirl, Jack, twirl,” I smiled.
Jack started to spin around like me, but a little bit more clumsy.
“I look like a fool,” Jack said.

“No, you look amazing, you twirl beautifully,” I grinned.
Jack and I both stopped twirling and looked at each other.
“God, the sun is so annoying,” I said. Jack looked at me with surprised eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Jack asked.

“That shining Light, the sun, it’s burning in my eyes.”

“Mel, there is no sun. It has already set.”

“Then, where’s that Light …”

I didn’t end my question.

“Oh shit, oh shit.”

I started to laugh so hard that Jack looked at me like I was insane.
“What do you see behind me?” I giggled.

“Eh, nothing. Only trees,” Jack answered.
I started to laugh again, and it felt like I wouldn’t stop laughing.
“Mel, are you okay,” Jack asked.

“Yes,” I answered. “Never been better.”

“Then what’s going on?”

“I feel the Light burning on my skin,” I said. “The Light.”

“You mean the Light?”

“Yes Jack, the Light.”

“The Light that’ll help you cross over?”

“Yes!” I screamed. “That Light!”

“You can see the Light!” Jack yelled.

“I can see the Light!’ I repeated. “I can cross over!”

“How does it look like?”

“I don’t know,” I said, “I haven’t looked at it yet.”

“Why not?” Jack asked.

“Because I’m afraid,” I said.

“Afraid?” Jack asked. His voice was trembling.

“Afraid,” I repeated. The mood in the atmosphere had changed.

“Why are you afraid?” Jack stuttered.

“I … I don’t know. I don’t know what’s there. I’m scared of it.”

“You don’t have to be, Mel. It’s safe. Just look at it.”

“I don’t want to leave,” I said.

“Mel, you want to leave, trust me. Don’t be afraid. Melanie, look at the Light.”

I turned around and looked at the Light that had been burning on my back the entire time. My mouth fell open.

“It’s so beautiful,” I said. “And it smells like chocolate.”

“Chocolate?” Jack wondered.

“Yes, chocolate.”

I put out my hand to reach the Light. My entire body was yearning to touch that beautiful light. I wanted to feel it burning on my skin. But the Light wasn’t the thing I yearned for the most.

“I want to see Alex,” I said. I dropped my hand and looked at Jack again.

“I’ll be back in a second.”

I started running and ran straight to Alex’s room. He was still sleeping.

“Hey, Alex,” I whispered. “I promised I’d come to see you.”

Alex moved a little bit, but didn’t wake up.

“I want you to know that I’ll never forget you, and that I will always love you. I promise. And I wish that you will always remember me.”

I paused and looked at Alex’s beautiful face.

“I hope you dream this, too,” I said. I closed my eyes, carefully placed my lips on Alex’s cheek, gave him a small kiss, and fought the tears that were forming in my eyes.

“Goodbye, Alex,” I sobbed. “We’ll meet each other again in another life. A life on the other side.”

I looked at Alex one more time and walked out of the room. When I got outside I saw that Jack was still waiting for me. His hair was full of snowflakes.

“You look like a snowman,” I joked.

“There are so many things I still want to say to you,” Jack said.

“Well, tell me, the Light can wait.”

“The only problem is that I don’t remember what I wanted to say.”

“Write them down on a note when you do,” I said. “There’s a chance that I’m able to read them, wherever I am.”

“I’ll do that,“ Jack said. I looked at the Light that was still waiting for me.

“Thank you, Mel,” Jack said. “For everything. Without you I’d still be stuck with Chrissy, the leech.”

“It was nothing,” I said. “I’m glad that I was able to help you. I never had so much fun in my entire life.”

“I think this is goodbye?” Jack slowly said.

“I guess so.”

“Well, goodbye, Melanie Pearson. Good luck on the other side.”

“Goodbye, Jack, I hope you get everything you wish for.”

Jack smiled, but the smiles weren’t able to hide his tears. My smiles couldn’t hide my tears either. I ran to Jack and locked my arms around him.

“I will miss you so much,” I cried. “I don’t know how I’ll manage without you.”

“You’ll be fine,” Jack said. “Don’t worry, just go.”

“Take care of yourself,” I said. “And of Alex.”

“I will, I will take care of him until you are around to take over my job.”

“That’s a promise?” I asked.

“It’s more than a promise,” Jack replied. “Now, go!”

I dropped my arms and slowly walked towards the Light. It felt so warm and comfortable. All I wanted was to feel that warm feeling on my skin.

“Now you see me, Jack,” I said. I took a few steps closer to the Light, and let the warmth of it take me away.

“And now you don’t.”

I closed my eyes and stepped into the Light. It felt like a place where only the nicest dreams, smells and flavors existed, the place that would be heaven to anyone. At the same time I stepped in the Light, a boy called Alex Gaskarth woke up from a breathtaking dream, knowing that the one he’d loved was at the place where she belonged, and that she would wait for him, no matter what.