Sweet, Sweet Superstar

Bri babe?" Tony murmured, his hand coming to my chin and turning it to look at him. I looked back into his green eyes, smiling at my boyfriend as he set down a cup of water on the table in front of me. The two of us were studying for exams, Tony's final ones while it was my final of my Sophomore year.

A lot had happened in the year and a half that Tony had I had gotten together. Tony was named captain the last summer and shared the duties with Ryan Flynn, one of his good friends on the team. Tony had been so excited when the news came out. He wasn't able to stop smiling, not even when the season ended with the Gophers once again missing out on the NCAA tourney, did he regret his final year as a Gopher. It was hard to watch Tony skate as a Gopher for his senior year, but I soaked in every moment of it, attending every single home game. I sat next to his mom and sister, all of whom I was now close with, and clapped as the seniors exited the ice of Mariucci one final time.

But before that were little moments, days when Tony and I would skip class and stay in on a cold winter day, cuddling and murmuring sweet nothing to each other. He was everything I had ever wanted, everything I had prayed to find, and he was all mine. It was crazy sometimes to think that I had gone from being one of his biggest fans, to his girlfriend in the span of four months. He let me into his life and then into his heart, trusting me with a sacred part of himself that I would forever hold close to me.

But time flew by fast, and it was now a week away from Tony's graduation and I was terrified of the future. Tony already had an agent and was working on getting a deal done with the San Jose Sharks, the team that had drafted him the summer of his senior year in high school. We never talked about the NHL or what would happen after he graduated; the two of us were too content in living in the moment, constantly pushing back the necessary talks.

Tony and I made the transition from friend to lovers in a matter of hours as I gave him every part of me which he vowed to protect. Tony made me feel safe, but most importantly, he broke down my walls. He tore down every slab of concrete I had put in place after letting someone in only to be hurt in return. He ripped them down until all he was looking at was the real me. The part of myself that was most personal. I was terrified when I realized he was grasping my heart in his hands something that I had all too willingly given up. It was a bad idea to fall in love with Tony or so I thought. But things couldn't be more perfect.

"Yeah," I asked Tony, fiddling with the pages of my Sociology book.

"You were gone from this world for awhile. What's on your mind?" He tilted his head, his hand running through my hair. I smiled at my boyfriend of a year and a half, shaking my head.

"Just thinking of us." I answered truthfully.

"Oh really? Like of all the times we did the nasty?" He chuckled softly as I blushed, covering half of my face with my hand.

"No, just about everything, and how I have you wrapped around my finger."

He scoffed at me immediately, his eyes narrowed, "false."

"So true you can't even open your mouth to argue."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Tony huffed at me as Jake Cepis entered the kitchen, half of his hair standing on end. He ran a hand over his face as he glanced at us, walking to the fridge to grab a beer.

"Hey Jake, is Tony whipped?"

"Fuck yeah. He is an obedient puppy." He snorted as Tony glared at him. "Baby," Jake whined to mimic me, "I have cramps. Rub my back, bubs." He switched to a more masculine voice, "okay sweetie. I love you cuddle bug."

"Go drink your beer and get ready to fail your finance final you dick." Tony growled at him, tugging at his hair. Jake snickered, bumping fists with me before exiting the kitchen. "What was that?" Tony rolled his eyes.

"I think my point was proven." I smirked at him, "but if that doesn't show you, how about last week when you went to get me tampons and the guy at the counter was all 'dude, I'd never do that for my girl,'" I giggled.

"Yeah and he is an asshole." Tony shrugged.

"No, you just love me lots."

"Yes, I do." Tony grinned at me. His arms slid around my waist, lifting me from my chair and into his lap. "I'm so happy." He closed his eyes, letting his head fall to the crook of my neck. His three day growth of stubble scratched against my skin, making me giggle and steady his head from rubbing against my skin. "Hey." He whined at me. His lips puckered against my neck, making shivers trail up and down my spin in the most amazing way. I used to fight this feeling, but now I embraced it. I was addicted to the way he made me feel.

"Baby?" I whispered to him, kissing the top of his head.

"Yeah," he breathed out, his breath coming out in even, warm spurts, cool against my wet neck where he had been sucking on my skin.

"You're graduating next week."

"I'm aware of that, baby." He chuckled softly, his hands squeezing my sides as a light, calming gesture.

"What's going to happen? You're going to San Jose, but what about me?" I whimpered to him as he brought his head up, looking at my face.

"You'll be on my mind every second of every day that I'm not with you." He cupped my face in his hands. His thumbs brushed across my cheek bones, his lips then swiping across them.

"I'll miss you," I murmured quietly to him, my voice at a hushed whisper; the moment was too delicate to raise my voice.

"You know the feeling will be the same. But you have my heart, therefore, we will always be together." I let my eyes close, nodding as if that would make it true. "It will be hard and there are times where you will want to give up, but we'll make it. We always will." I nodded again, desperate to change the subject before I started to cry.

"I'm hungry, are you?" I asked, lifting myself off of his lap. He sighed defeatedly but nodded as I walked to the fridge, not surprised to find no food, only beer and a gallon of milk that looked a bit sketchy. "Of course, nothing to eat."

"Baby, we're a bunch of college boys. We don't shop unless we have a girl with us."

"Do you want to go shopping then? I need to get out of here." I mumbled the last part, but he heard it.

"Come on, it's a bit stuffy in here anyway," he told me, grabbing my hand as we attempted to leave the awkward air in the kitchen.
***

APRIL 23rd, 2010

I chomped on my nails as I watched the University of Minnesota graduation ceremony, smiling at the various hockey players who walked across the stage with their diplomas. Their names were called and they took long strides, their smiles lighting up my heart as Don Lucia clapped for the boys who had turned into his sons the past four years. Joyce Lucia grasped my hand and her husband's as Tony came across the stage, earning a major in finance with a minor in business.

He looked dashing in his black gown with his black dress pants and shoes, a green shirt under his grown. He grinned as he shook hands with one of the main people at the university. My chest swelled along with my heart as my baby walked off the stage, all the hard work and late night studying finally paying off. His eyes scanned the large crowd, finding us as his mom waved wildly next to me. Don chuckled at his wife as Tony grinned at his mom. He blew a kiss in our direction, throwing me a wink as he returned to his seat.

The rest of the class of 2010 got announced and then the hats were tossed into the air, a massive wave of black blocking my view of Tony. We made out way out of the hot auditorium walking to a bench where we told Tony to meet us.

"Our baby boy is all grown up," Joyce sighed to Don, her arm laced through his as he stood tall, looking so much more like a coach than a dad that it made me want to giggle.

Don chuckled at his wife, shaking his head. "Honey, two of our kids have already graduated from college." He reminded her of their two eldest daughters who were in their mid twenties.

"Yes, but Tony is the first one of our boys. Mario is next."

"By then we will be pros, and It will be nice to have everyone out of the house. No more broken pieces of siding littering the ground from slap shots." Don winked at me and I giggled as I was pulled back into a chest. Tony placed a kiss atop of my head as he rocked me back and forth, my heels lifting slightly only to be set back on the ground. I leaned back into his chest after he hugged his parents.

"Dad, we both know Mario won't be graduating from college. He's too sheltered."

"You weren't sheltered enough," Joyce gave her son a scolding look, giving him an up-down that made Tony cringe slightly.

"It feels so good to be done. It's too bad you still have two years to go." Tony changed the subject, opting to shift the teasing on me. I stuck my tongue out at him, silently snapping at him.

Yeah, way to remind me that it's two years I have to spend away from you.

We went out to dinner after that and met up with Tony's siblings, Mario coming from his girlfriend's house while Jessica and Ali came from a girls day. We all laughed loudly as everyone shared their favorite Tony moments, placing him at the butt of all of our jokes. He took it like a champ, laughing at everything, even the ones that made him blush a deep red. We ate at an Italian restaurant of Tony's choice, celebrating Tony's official end to all schooling. It was amusing to me to watch Joyce fawn all over her first born son, toying with his hair as he slowly tried to inch away from her.

All through dinner, Tony kept a hand on my thigh, across my shoulder, or on my lower back, a gesture that was meant to say he was paying strict attention to everything I did. He was trying to make sure I was okay, and I was for the moment. Tony was still here, he was still next to me and that made it alright. But when he left, we both knew I wouldn't be the same. Tony had become such a central part of my life in the past year and a half I had known him. He was my best friend, my lover, and the only person who could understand me. He talked me out of stupid ideas, listened to me bitch about anything and everything, and took my mood swings as they came. He put up with my shit because he loved me, and my mom told me that if I ever found someone like that to hold on tight and never let go. But how was I supposed to hold on when he was halfway across the country?

Dinner was finished up and then we went to the Grand Ole Creamery to grab some ice cream. Tony and I shared, well, he ate most of it while I had little bites every once and awhile. I just wasn't in the mood to eat. I was one of those people that when I had something on my mind, my whole life seemed to be put on pause while I tried to figure it out. We sat on the curb, the warm spring breeze ruffling our hair, sending mine sprawling back like the mane of a lion.

"Hey," Tony bumped his knee into mine, taking my attention from my pink toe nails to him. "Let's talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," I shrugged, squinting against the setting sun.

"Brianna, I don't leave until August," He reminded me. "We can be together until then if that's what you want. I understand if you don't want to do the long distance thing. I want you to be a college student; I don't want you here, missing me and holed up in your apartment. I want you to have all the experiences I had. Go out and have a good time, but don't get wasted unless you have someone to take care of you. Wait, scratch that, don't get wasted period. Drink a little bit, laugh a lot, and make a ton of memories because this part of your life is going to fly by. You want it to be over now, but when it is over, you're going to want it back so bad it hurts."

"Nothing will be the same without you." I whispered, leaning my head against his shoulder. Tony brought a spoonful of cookies and creme ice cream up to my lips and I opened my mouth, letting him feed me.

"It will be better," he tried to tell me. I pulled away so he could see my eye roll. I looked past him to where his parents were, eating their ice cream and conversing softly, casually glancing in our direction every so often. Well, I shouldn't say they, more so Joyce. She had become like a mom to me in the past couple months.

"Minnesota means nothing without you," I whispered to the wind, my head turned to the other side and I knew he could hear me. But it was much easier to say when I wasn't looking into his green eyes. The same green eyes that were begging me to see the bright side, the glass half full, whatever you want to call it.

"Can we just be happy for the night?" Tony asked me, scooping me up and setting me between his legs. I crossed my ankles, one over the other and sighed softly, snuggling into my baby's chest.

"Besides me, what will you miss most about Minnesota?" I asked him after a couple moments of silence had passed. The warm breeze continued to brush lightly across my face as I titled it towards the air. After a long winter, this was exactly what I needed. Tony's arms squeezed my hips for a moment before he kissed my cheek softly.

"Moments like this where you don't even have to talk and I know exactly how you are feeling. Just holding you in my arms while you fall asleep and start murmuring things I can barely understand, but I know that when you wake up you will expect me to remember them. I'll miss seeing your eyes sparkle when I tell you I love you and making love to you until the sun starts to peek through the shades. And when you blush every time I mention sex." He kissed my flushed cheeks, his nose nuzzling against the soft skin of my face. I scrunched my face up as I let a coy smile touch my lips. He pressed a short kiss to my lips, pulling away. "I'll miss your smile." He rested his chin on my shoulder as I looked passed him and down the street, the eye contact too much for me.

"Promise you won't forget me?" I whispered to him, grabbing our laced hands and pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. He sighed softly, his face going over my shoulder and dipping down right next to mine. Our cheeks pressed together as I closed my eyes, my hair blowing away from my face. Tears streaked down my cheeks as Tony squeezed me tight.

"I'll never forget you. This isn't the end. It's only the beginning." He kissed all over my cheeks, his body wrapping tighter around me, as if to squeeze the bad feelings out of me. "I promise." He breathed out against my neck. His hands lifted me up to turn me so that I was looking at him. My knees rested on the ground as I straddled his waist, his parents now turned in the complete opposite direction, their backs to us. He leaned up, placing our lips together as he tried to kiss me into another happy place.

"I don't make empty promises, Brianna." I let my eyes close at his words, his lips still pressing against mine. I tugged on his bottom lip, my tongue traveled into his mouth, tangling with his as they danced around.

"Don't start a new trend with me," I whispered out, pulling away to rest our foreheads together. I kissed his nose softly before setting our heads together again. Tony's hands wandered to my lower back, his fingers digging into my flesh. I moaned softly as he pressed harder, a silent reassurance that he would be keeping his promise.