You Can Only Imagine

I can't begin to tell you how long I've waited for this day to come. My name is Skylar and well yes I am gay and I could care less if you don't like that.
Well back to what I was saying previously. I've been waiting for nearly 2 years to meet this boy in person. Two fucking years we've been together, yet haven'teven seen each other! I can't believe we managed to wait this long, I mean what kind of sense does that make? Well let me tell you living 11 hours apart doesn't really permit you time to see each other between work and school and family and ya I'm sure you understand what I'm getting at. I suppose I should tell you a little more about myself. I'm 17 years old. I moved here to the US when I was 15 to live with my sister who isn't actually biologically related to me. I met her through a program that helps only children find a sibling. She's really quite amazing. She's a big sister, my best friend, and even a bit like a mom to me. See my parents died when I was pretty young and well I am an only child. lol
My biological family wanted nothing to do with me. I was supposed to be born a girl, but everyone hates me because I was boy instead. Well it's my stupid mom's fault! She jinxed itI believe. I was born 4 and a half months premature so my health has never really been that great. I get sick really easily and I have very poor lungs. I suffer from asthma and a lung condition called spontaneous pneumothorax where the alevoli...uhm let's just stick with my lungs randomly have holes develop in them and it's a potentially fatal condition if not treated immediately. I don't have very long to live because my body's already dying sadly. All of the doctors I've seen have said I won't make it past 40 most likely. It really saddens me because more than anything in the world, this boy, I just want to make him happy and how can I do that if I'm dying?
Tori well he loves me despite my being ill and even though he knows I'll die early he still wants to be with me. Oh ya I forgot Tori is my boo. :] Gawd I love him so fucking much. I'd do anything to put a smile on this boys face. I mean wow how perfect can someone get. He's so cute and goofy and he loves anime! OMG! And and we even love the same music and weeeeeeeeeeeee I get so hyper and giddy and giggly just thinking about him. XD I know all ofmy friends say I'm whipped over some guy I haven't even seen yet. Well we're finally going to meet in person. I'm driving to Ohio, from Wisconsin, to go see him. :] I can't wait! I'm so fucking excited. ^.^ Tori and I met online on a website called thedollpalace.com. It's kinda funny and actually even more honestly my dearest sis introduced us! :D So I'm here sitting in my car, driving down the road to his house.
My heart is racing so much, I think it might just fly right out of my chest. I see his house and slowly pull into his drive way and park my car and cut the engine taking my keys with me as I get out of my car. I walk up to his house feeling so many butterflies in my tummy I might possibly just throw up or pass out. I walk up the stairs and ring the doorbell. A woman answer the door, I believe it's his mother, "Is Tori home?", I ask her. "Yes he's upstairs in his room", and with that she turns around and walks away. o.o Ok just a little awkward. I walk in and take my shoes off and spot the coat rack and go to hang up my coat. I slowly near the stairs and turn left to walk up them and can feel my face heat up and my heart beat even faster if that's even possible. I'm so nervous. What if he doesn't like me in person? What if I'm not good enough? @_@
Questions upon questions race through my mind as I get to the top of the stairs and turn right walking down the hallway towards where I suspect is his bedroom judging by the blasting music and well I already know his brother moved out and that was his only sibling so it must be him.
Tori's the youngest of two children. He moved to Ohio from New Hampshire not too long after I moved to the US. He lives with his mom and well that abusive asshole, good for nothing, stepfather is long gone thank god! So I at least know he's not getting hurt anymore. It killed me a little inside each time I found out he got hurt and I couldn't do anything to save him or protect him. I wanted to keep Tori safe and now that I'm here I'm going to do that from now on. I'll never leave his side unless he asks me to. I'll do anything for him. I love him so much. Tori is my everything, He's my entire world. If I hadn't ever met him, I know I'd be dead. He means so much to me. I honestly can't see my life without him in it. You know it has to be true love if you can feel so strongly about someone even though you've never even met them in person before. I just want to keep a smile on his face always and make him feel safe and loved. I'll cherish every moment I have with Tori by my side. I want to marry this boy someday and make him the happiest man in the world! :] Well here I am, standing outsidehis bedroom door. Omg I might just pass out and die right here. I need to calm down. Compose yourself Skylar come on you can do this! x.x No I can't. Yes I can! I have to. XD I argue with myself alot. It's kinda weird and sometimes I even lose arguements with myself. O.o
I knock on his door. "Who is it? Just come in!", I hear being shouted over the loud music and then I hear it being turned down slightly. Gawd he has the cutest voice ever! ^.^ (I is getting hyperrrrrrrrrrrr. XD) I grab his door knob and turn it slowly and slowly push open the door walking into his roomwith it and then take a deep breath as I walk into his room and spot him. There he is in these hot black form fitting skinnies and an All Time Low t-shirt. I want to just jump him in all his cuteness right now and smother him with kisses! ^^ I look him up and down and grin at him as he looks at me and his jaw drops and eyes widen. Oh ya I forgot to mention I came as a surprise. He never knew I was coming. :] I slip my hand into my back pocket feeling his ring, the one thatI got for him. It's Christmas Eve today by the way. I'm going to propose to him at midnight. I know I've asked him THE QUESTION online before, but now I'm going to do it for real! :D
Alright if you like this rate and message and I'll post the next part soon! :D