You Can Only Imagine

I felt extremely awkward and out of place as we walked through the mall. All of these girls kept on staring at me and it was just weird. I held onto his hand tighter turning my head to glance at him. I suppose or at least I’m pretty sure that I forgot to mention that I’m pretty much blind in my left eye. I was a victim of abuse and well I’m pretty sure you understand what I’m getting at. I kept Tori on my left not just because it made me feel safer, but also because if I feel any bit threatened or I’m touched on that side of my body unexpectedly I might lash out at whoever or whatever it was that touched me. It’s a defense mechanism. I don’t mean to do it, it just happens. It’s a reflex for me. Tori suddenly tugged on my hand snapping me out of my train of thought, looking at me slightly worried. I gently squeezed his hand to reassure him that I was ok. We walked over to the cafeteria area and he lead me over to a group of people with the emo/scene style so I guessed that those were his friends. I recognized one of them! It was Chelchel who I knew. We got over to where they were waiting and we well more I got a lot of surprised looks. I think I also recognized Justin, but I wasn’t sure because I had only seen one or two pictures of him and he had a fro in both of those. Tori grinned and turned to me. I felt a little anxious and paranoid around of these people, which I’m sure he saw because I was tense and he gently squeezed my hand reassuring me that he was there for me and that it would be ok.
“Hey. I’d like you to meet my fiance Skylar”, he gestured towards me when speaking to them.
I looked around at all of them, studying them and observing them I liked to be able to get into peoples heads and read them. It was a comfort zone kind of thing for me.
I nodded at them muttering a somewhat shy and quiet “Hallo, nice to meet you”.
I wanted to run and hide. I felt a little panicked around his friends, which made me feel guilty. I had to at least give them a chance.
I saw Chelchel grin as she shouted “Nice to finally meet you in person Skylar!”, I smiled back and nodded my head towards her, letting go of Tori’s hand as I said “You too.”, and wrapped my arms around his waist. I needed a little calming down.
Tori rested his hands upon mine slightly grabbing onto my hands. I felt a lot better this way. Tori started pointing at people naming off who was who. I don’t really like Dilan or Mike from past experiences which I may elaborate on, but doubtfully. I felt like I needed to protect Tori from them, but they were his friends. So I’m trying to give them the benefit of the doubt for now at least anyways. If they crossed me I’d probably kill them or at least make sure they didn’t come near Tori again. It was starting to feel awkward again when Chelchel gasped out of no where making my jump which startled poor Tori. He turned around and hugged me giggling a little bit because of my reaction to her along with his other friends. I felt ok with some of them, the others just didn’t sit right with my yet, but I’d give it time before I decided if they were good enough to be around my boo or not. Chelchel pointed at Tori making me raise my eyebrow questioningly, as I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to me.
“Hold your hand out Tori! I wanna see!”, she said excitedly and we both looked at each other slightly confused as first then it dawned on me that she wanted to see his ring.
I pulled his arm from around me motioning to the ring getting an ‘ohhhhhh’ kind of expression from him and he held out his hand for all of them to see.
“Omg! I’m jealous!”, one of the other girls said as they looked at it.
I could see the blush rising to his cheeks, which made me chuckle. I kissed his forehead. That’s all it took to send him from red to scarlet. I held him close as he buried his head in my chest. A few of his friends were saying ‘awwwwwwws’ and/or ‘so cute!’ and what not, but something just felt off. I felt like I was being stared down. I looked around, but didn’t see anyone. I looked back down at poor Tori holding him closer, rubbing his back gently. I think I was just being paranoid.
Sophie suddenly spoke up startling me once again, “Can we get moving and shop now?”, she said in a semi-bored tone.
Everyone startled mumbling amongst each other saying yea and let’s go. They all started walking off so I grabbed Tori’s hand, smiling at him. I swear if this doesn’t kill me with my anxiety and paranoia that I have got to be invincible. XD We followed after them and Chelchel hung back to chat with Tori. I kept glancing around seeing if I could find a source to that feeling of being watched that I had earlier. Tori looked at me once again worried about my strange behavior.
“What’s wrong Skylar?”, he asked me.
I could only shrug my shoulders as I said, “I’m not sure. I think it’s just the anxiety of meeting so many new people at once, but I kind of felt like someone was staring me down. I’m probably just being paranoid. Don’t worry about it.”, I laughed a little hoping he’d just let it go.
He stopped walking and stood on his tip toes kissing me. My eyes got wide. That was shocking. I then grinned kissing him back feeling a hell of a lot better. He broke the kiss watching me. I smiled and pecked his lips, feeling that electricity fly through my body once again, letting him know that I going to be fine. I grabbed onto Tori’s hand running to catch up with the others getting a groan of protest out of him as well as a giggle. We walked into Hot Topic (yea I know oh so typical) and I just followed him in and watched him so I would see what was catching his fancy. I thought he should pierce the other side of his lip, but I didn’t want to say anything to make him feel self-conscious or anything. I didn’t want it to mean that. I just thought that snake bites would be really fucking hot on him. I saw him glancing around at the band T-shirts, but he didn’t really seem too interested in any of them at the moment. I saw something that caught my eye and pulled him with me getting a slightly surprised squeak out of him. I chuckled and reached for a bondage collar and held it up for him to see and got a wide-eyed ‘OMG!’ looked from him as he smiled and laughed.
“Would you wear this for me?”, I grinned asking him.
Tori turned bright red.
“At home I mean when it’s just you and me”, I grinned wiggling my eyebrows getting a laugh out of him and a “Mayyyyyyyybe!” said in a teasey sing song voice.
I gave him a pouty face and got the ‘Oh shit. Don’t you do this to me’ look from Tori. I laughed and looked at a different collar that had spikes on it. He looked at me pouting, so I pouted back at him.
“Ugh! Not fair Skylar, Not fair!” he said. XD
Tori pointed to the spiked collar blushing, meaning he preferred that one. Whether I get him to wear it…well I’ll just have to work my magic on that one. ;)
“YAY!” I did mini happy dance saying it excitedly.
I hugged him tightly kissing him quickly making him blush even more. I put the other collar back and grabbed onto his hand and let him lead me over to the shirt racks. He looked through them and pulled one out holding it up to me. I could only wonder what the fuck was going through his head to hold up this really low v-neck Invader Zim shirt to me. He put it back as he was laughing hysterically at my horrified expression. I mean you can stick me in a dress, but that hell to the no. I will not wear something like that. I know I’m weird, but leave me be to my weirdness peoples. I held up a Hello Kitty shirt to him getting a ‘fuck no’ expression to it and giggle. I leaned over and kissed him hearing an “awwwwwwwww!”, from behind me making me jump once again. Jeeze people! Stop scaring me already! I don’t deserve this! I’ve been good! I shouted and cursed all these people out in my mind. I hid behind Tori and stared at Chelchel with a ‘you’re mean’ glare and hugged Tori tightly. He was going hysterical on me so I could NOT resist the temptation to tickle his sides just a little bit. He was so cute when he spazzed out and tried wiggling away from my tickle onslaught on him. I stopped chuckling and kissed his cheek. Tori stuck his tongue out at me and I grabbed him getting a shocked expression from him.
I leaned down next to his ear and whispered, “Don’t stick it out unless you plan on using it right here, right now.”, I pulled back smirking, getting a major blush from him.
I leaned in quickly and licked his tongue and let go of it sending him from red to a bright scarlet. Tori just stood there bright red and gawking at me. I know I’m mean. :3 I hugged him and went over to the jewelry and grabbed some new lip rings and then went over to the hair stuff as he walked over by me with a few shirts in his arms. I held some bows up to him and got a ‘oh no you don’t look’, and chuckled. I grabbed this one hoodie I really, really liked and then took the shirts from his arms and went over to the check out.
Tori ran up to me, “It’s ok. I can pay for my own Skylar”, he said looking a little embarassed.
“Don’t worry about it”, I said sticking my tongue out at him.
He gave me a pouty face, but knew he had no chance of changing my mind. The cashier looked at us kind of funny as I paid for our stuff and grabbed the bag turning around to face Tori. I reached for his hand, lacing my fingers with his smiling and getting a smile from him in return as we left the store. I think his friends ditched us, but I wasn’t sure. I looked around seeing if I could spot any of them, but to no avail I didn’t see any of them.
I looked at him and he shrugged, “Do you want to keep browsing around or do you want to go home?” he asked me.
Home sounded really nice, but then again this place was huge compared to the one back by me in Wisconsin. I looked at him and said “I’d like to browse a little yet if that’s ok with you.”
“Yeah it is”, he smiled at me.
I kissed him, smiling against his lips.
“I love you Tori” I said quietly.
“I love you too Skylar”, he smiled blushing ever so slightly.
I let him lead me on through the rest of the mall. I couldn’t have been happier to have him there with me, plus it was a lot of fun making him laugh.