I Kissed A Boy

He was not supposed to be doing that.

He was supposed to be paying attention to what his Math teacher was saying, but he was not. Instead, William Graves found himself staring at something entirely different to the board at the front of the room.

He watched as the tall, seventeen year old rocked back and forth in his chair, chewing on the end of the pencil and talking subtly to the guy behind him.

Gabriel Saporta.

William had never actually talked to him - his social status was not high enough to give him the rights - but it did not stop William from staring at him every time they shared a class. If William had had a friend, he would have told his friend that he was absolutely entirely in love with Gabriel Saporta; but as it turns out, William did not have any friends, so he kept his secret to himself.

Gabriel was not gay like William was. In fact, he was far from it. He had a new girlfriend every week and a new fuck every three days. News spreads fast in Barrington High.

“Mr. Graves would you please keep your eyes to the front?” William snapped out of his daydream and turned to the front, only to see his teacher waiting for him impatiently before continuing with the lesson.

He heard sniggering from across the classroom, and dared to sneak a glance at where it was coming from. He wished he had not though, because all he saw was Gabriel and his two friends sneaking looks over at him before laughing again. William’s eyes shot back down to his notebook hurriedly, and he felt the heat rise to his face as he pushed his glasses back up his nose.

* * *
William was one of the taller boys in the year, but that did not stop him from being picked on, especially as he was thin as a twig. He was the only one who listened to the bands he liked, and he was one of the only one that took notes in every class.

He was the only one in his grade that sat alone at lunch.

The insults ranged from between ‘fag’ and ‘nerd’, but it did not really bother William. Not unless it was Gabriel that said it, then the words would linger in his mind all day.

“Hey.”

William looked up from the book he was reading at the lunch table with a half-eaten sandwich in his hand. He stopped chewing as soon as he saw who it was and swallowed whatever was in his mouth.

“I’m Gabe,” the boy said, sitting on the other side of the table, stretching his legs along the seat casually. Gabe. That is what most people called him. William sat there staring at the boy in front of him.

He shook his head slightly. He had to be dreaming. Gabriel Saporta would not sit at his table for no reason at all.

“Hi Gabe,” William mumbled, looking at the table in front of him, rather than meeting the boy’s eyes. William could see Gabe’s friends in the distance, a select group of guys and girls that were sitting at a table giving him confused looks and a few were calling out to him, but he didn’t pay them any attention.

“So you’re William right?” he asked.

“Y-yes,” he stuttered out, still unsure of what was going on. Gabe spent a few more minutes making small talk, until he said something that caught William off guard.

“So you’re gay right?”

William blinked and stared at him for a moment, mouth open slightly before he could reply. “I…what?”

“Are you gay?” Gabe repeated slowly, eyes fixed on William’s. Should I tell him? William contemplated the thought in his mind over and over.

Perhaps he is asking because he is gay too. Maybe he likes me?

“You won’t tell anyone will you?” William said quietly. Gabe shook his head, with a small smile on his lips.

“Yeah,” William whispered out, leaning back a bit from the table. Gabe nodded, and there was a silence between them before Gabe began to stand up. William watched on puzzled though, as Gabe started to climb onto the table until he was standing on top of it looking over the whole cafeteria.

“Hey guys!” he yelled, his voice echoing around the room as his group of friends, and quite a few others, turned to look at him. William stared up at Gabe, still completely confused as to why he was standing on the table. “You were right! He is gay!” he yelled again, pointing down at William.

William’s face changed as a horrified expression took over his previously puzzled one. Gabe’s friends immediately burst out laughing and Gabe hopped off the table, walking towards them and not looking back. William could feel tears sting in his eyes and bit his bottom lip to stop it from shaking as he shoved his book back into his bag hastily before slinging it over his shoulder, hurrying out of the lunchroom as quickly as he could without tripping. His long hair hung in his eyes as he swept out the door, trying to avoid the stares and laughter that followed him.

He skipped last period. He spent it sitting in the bathrooms with his chin in his hands and tears running down his cheeks.

* * *

It was a week later when he was sitting in English class that he felt someone kicking the back of his chair. William did not bother to turn around; he already knew who was sitting behind him.

The kicking got harder (as hard as it could without the teacher noticing) before stopping altogether. William let out a sigh of relief as he continued with his work, grateful that Gabe was not distracting him any further. He was disrupted however, when a scrunched up piece of paper landed on his desk once the teacher had turned around.

His hand twitched to pick it up, but he stopped himself. It was obvious whom it was from, but William did not know if he wanted to read what was on it. He went on taking notes, but the scrunched up ball of paper stayed in his peripheral vision the whole time, staring back at him.

Eventually curiosity got the better of him and he took the note, spreading it out flat on his desk before being able to read it.

My locker after school.
Don’t make it obvious.

William stared at it in confusion, before turning slightly to look at Gabe who was staring out the window, clearly pretending he had not just done anything. He looked intently back at the note, trying to decide if it was some sort of joke. This could all be some sort of sick joke from Gabe and his friends, his mind told him.

He chewed on his lip and tapped his pencil on the desk as he thought about it. It was probably better if he did not go. Why on earth would Gabe want to see me anyway?

* * *

William stood at his locker. His books were in his bag, his bag was slung on his shoulder, and the bell had gone 5 minutes ago. There were still people in the corridors talking to their friends before they left for their houses, but William could not bring himself to move towards the front gates of the school. Despite the fact that he knew that the end result of this couldn’t be good, he found himself moving in the opposite direction, because William’s mind was so clouded with the thought that if this wasn’t a joke then he’d be kicking himself for not going.

As he got further down the corridor, he could not help but notice that the few students who were left in the building were staring at him, knowing full well that he did not belong at the end of the corridor.

He knew where Gabe’s locker was (who did not?) and he realized as soon as he got closer that Gabe was nowhere to be seen around it. William did not want to look like an idiot and wait by it, so he continued to the end of the corridor, planning to go out the back doors of the school, just wanting to get home.

It was only about six more steps before William heard a classroom door next to him open and a strong hand pull him in roughly by the sleeve of his jacket. He stumbled sideways and into the classroom before steadying himself and turning around to see what had happened after hearing the door close.

“I knew you’d come,” Gabe said, a small smirk on his face.

William pulled the strap on his bag closer to him and pushed his glasses up his nose, his eyes darting between Gabe and the floor.

“Sorry about last week,” he apologized, trying to look William in the eyes. William just bit his lip and shrugged. “I really didn’t mean it though,” he continued, sitting on a nearby desk, “it just kind of happened.”

William nodded and shuffled his feet against the ground. Was this all Gabe wanted to do? Apologies?

“I-I should get going,” William stammered, taking a couple of steps towards the door before Gabe stopped him.

“There’s something else.” William turned around and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off before any sound could leave his mouth. “You want to come over on the weekend?”

William blinked behind his glasses. He said it casually as if it was the most normal thing in the world, and picked at his nails casually as he waited for an answer. William shook his head.

“I don’t want to be part of some joke,” he replied timidly.

“It’s not a joke.”

“How do I know that?”

“Meeting me here wasn’t a joke,” he answered, a small smile on his face. William let out a shaky breath after a pause.

“Why?”

Gabe shrugged and picked at a chip on the desk. “I don’t know. I just want you to come over.”

William eyed him warily. “Why are you even talking to me? Everyone hates me,” he stated bluntly. Gabe laughed a little as William pursed his lips. “What?”

“You ask too many questions. Just come round, it’ll be fun.”

“Um…”

“And William?” William looked up to meet Gabe’s eyes as he hopped off the desk. “Don’t tell a soul about this.”

He shoved a piece of paper against William’s chest as he walked out of the classroom. William was slightly dazed at the contact made, but soon saw that he had messily scribbled his address down on the paper. He stuffed the note into his bag before walking out of the classroom and getting out of the school quickly, after seeing no other students in sight.

He contemplated his situation as he walked home, dragging his feet on the concrete path. He was confused as ever, as if someone had just reached into his thoughts and twisted them all backwards. Why, all of a sudden, was Gabe Saporta talking to him? Why was he being nice? Why was he inviting him over to his house?

It seemed stupid that William would not jump at the chance with wishful thinking of a secret hook up. Then again, Gabe had to have dated fifty percent of the school’s female population. He is obviously not gay.

William took the paper with Gabe’s address on it from his bag as he stopped out the front of his house, scrunching it up and throwing it in the hedge before going inside.

* * *

This is exactly why I threw away Gabe’s address, William thought to himself, Because I was just going to dig through the plants so I could find it again anyway. He rolled his eyes at his sarcastic thoughts as he looked at the door in front of him.

His throat was dry as he pressed his long finger to the doorbell, and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. He waited for a few minutes but there was not any answer. He cursed under his breath as he turned and walked down the front steps.

“Leaving already?”

As soon as Gabe’s cocky voice met his ears he stopped in his tracks. He swallowed before turning to see Gabe with his arms crossed, leaning against the doorway.

“I-I was…I didn’t-“

“You can come inside,” Gabe cut him off, waiting for William to walk in before closing the door behind him, shutting out the cold morning air. “My parents are at work the whole day, so we have the entire place to ourselves,” Gabe said, smiling at William as he led him into the living room.

William blushed at the statement, and hung his head to hide his heated face. He sat on the couch as Gabe passed him a soda, but he did not drink it. He just held it in his hands, because honestly, who drinks soda at ten in the morning?

“Are you cold?”

“Hm?” William snapped back to reality.

“You’re shaking,” Gabe pointed out. William looked at his hands, which were holding the soda, only to see they were in fact quivering around the metal can. He hurriedly put the drink down and brought his hands closer to his body, wringing them to hide the shaking from Gabe.

He was not uncomfortable at Gabe’s house, just a little awkward and nervous. He did not know what he was supposed to do, and he still was not sure as to why Gabe had wanted him there.

When he was finally able to shift his gaze from his lap back to Gabe, he jumped a little at how close Gabe’s face was to his own.

“Do you like me, William?” he whispered. William opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by Gabe pushing his cool lips onto William’s. Eyes widening in shock, William placed his hands onto the boy’s shoulders almost immediately and tried to push him away. He licked his lips as Gabe pulled back, hurt appearing in his expression.

“I thought you said you were gay,” Gabe said quietly. William just stared back at him. The feeling of Gabe’s mouth against his own sent explosions through his veins but he did not kiss back. He liked Gabe, practically loved him, but this was all getting too real for William. He stood up suddenly and began to make his way to the door; he was stopped however, when Gabe caught his forearm, spinning him around and pinning him against the wall.

“I thought you were straight,” William murmured quietly, still confused at the situation. Gabe just shrugged.

“I thought so too.” There was a long silence between them before he continued. “I like you.”

William blinked at him, before shaking his head. “N-no, that’s… y-you…” he stammered out, trailing off as Gabe chuckled at him.

“I love it when you stutter,” he laughed quietly, before pressing his lips to William’s once again. William did not push away this time. He did not understand why Gabe liked him, but he decided to go along with it, kissing back lightly.

The kiss got hungrier, deeper and more of a make out against the wall, before Gabe pulled back slightly, still so close that every word he spoke tickled William’s lips with his own. “We should take this upstairs,” he suggested, starting to pull William along by his shirt. He knew where this was going, but he was so intoxicated with his feelings that his mind refused to think logically.

Unnecessary clothing was shed on the staircase.

Shirts were gone outside the bedroom door.

Gabe pushed the door open, his lips now attached to William’s neck as he felt trembling hands slide down his chest. They moved towards the bed, tripping over shoes and clothes on the way. Soon Gabe was hovering over him, William breathing deeply as he felt warm skin in contact with his own.

“You’ve never done this before have you?” Gabe said softly, looking into William’s eyes. He shook his head slightly, biting his lip. “It might hurt a bit.” William just nodded as he waited for Gabe to start. As soon as jeans were gone, boxers were stripped off.

It hurt at first. It hurt a lot.

William whimpered as tears stung behind his eyelids; his tongue was between his teeth so he would not make too much noise. He waited, staring at the white ceiling until the pain starting ebbing away, trying to focus on anything but what was happening. Gabe was grunting on top of him, eyes closed and mouth slightly open.

The pain was always there, but William could start to feel the pleasure behind it. Small moans escaped his lips as he scratched down Gabe’s back, both of them drenched in sweat. William’s hair stuck to his forehead with the perspiration, and he could feel his heartbeat between his hips.

Skin on skin.

Lips on lips.

* * *

William lay in the sheets and pulled them further over his body, cold from the sweat that had covered his body earlier. The room smelled of sex and he felt exposed. He felt an arm wrap around his waist from behind as Gabe rested his chin on William’s shoulder.

“I don’t want you to hang out with me at school,” he mumbled, but William caught his words. He shifted his head to face Gabe and furrowed his eyebrows, all of a sudden feeling used. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he defended quickly, as soon as he saw the expression on William’s face, “I just don’t want you to be popular. I like the fact that you’re shy and awkward and I don’t want you to change,” he said in a small voice before shrugging. “It sounds pretty stupid I guess.”

“No it doesn’t,” William replied, turning around and burying his face in Gabe’s neck. “We just can’t exactly make this public, right?”

“Right.”

* * *

They had to go back to school as if nothing had happened on the weekend.

William did not see Gabe until half way through the day, when they passed each other in the corridor. He was with his usual group of friends and William had his bag hanging off his shoulder.

He looked up as William passed and their eyes met briefly, causing a quick smile to flash across William’s lips. Gabe’s friends continued to talk, not noticing their friend subtly hold out his hand and brush it past William’s thigh quickly, before continuing with his friends in the opposite direction as if nothing had happened.

William felt the heat rise to his face (and his thigh) as he kept walking, his gaze fixated just barely above the ground and his hair hanging over his eyes.

He pushed his glasses up, and the smile never left his face.