Gimme Chemicals

The party was pretty cool. It had just about everything beer, pot, and hot babes running about the pool half naked, some more than half. I was at Jesse's house, he was throwing some type of last bash before we started our junior year. School started in a week which sucked. It was around ten now.

The party's been going for hours, but I only got here an hour ago. I didn't like to stay at party's too long otherwise they just lose the thrill.

As the music blared inside, I made my way out back to the side of house where Tony was. Tony's been my friend since eighth grade. I started hanging around him and Mason when my best friend moved away. I wasn't too friendly with Tony though, we were business partners kind of. Customer and client, druggie and dealer.

"Hey Darren, what's up man?" Tony said lighting a joint.

"Not much, mind if I have a few puffs?" I asked him and he passed the joint over. As soon as I pressed the joint to my lips, I felt the familiar calm wash over me, " This is some really good stuff."

"Yeah, I'm going into the city in a few weeks to get my stock renewed. The big guy promised me some stronger stuff too." Tony said trying to lure me into a sale.

"Cool, maybe I'll try some when you get it. My stash is low. Can I get some of this stuff?" I asked pulling out a twenty.

"Sure." Tony took the twenty and handed me a couple of bags.

"Sweet thanks man." I smiled and walked off. It felt good to have the stuff in my pocket. I had been running low and was getting nervous. I felt calm and cool now that I was drowning in relief.

I only stayed at the party for a few more hours. I hooked up with some chick named Courtney. Nothing too nasty just some lip action.. in a couple of places. I got home around one in the morning. Dad was waiting on the couch. At least I wasn't too drunk this time, I'd be in complete control of myself, mostly.

"Where the fuck have you been?" he yelled.

"Out" I replied trying to get up the stairs until he blocked the way.

"It's one fucking AM." he snarled. I looked into his bloodshot eyes, looks like daddy dearest has been drinking too. He's been drinking ever since mom left us for some rich bastard.

"What do you care" I retorted. I hoped he didn't do anything to Kenny. He liked to take a lot of things out on Kenny for being gay. As fucked up as I was, I always managed to care about my little brother.

"Son of a fucking bitch." Dad slapped me upside the head before he could do any worse I slid behind him and ran up the stairs.

When I was at the top, I turned around just long enough to say, "Son of a fucking bitch that you married, and hey, that bitch left you!"

I ran into my room and locked the door before he could get me. I probably really pissed him off. I didn't care, he could suck it. As he pounded and kicked the door muttering curses, I inspected myself in the mirror. My long brown hair covered the bump that was beginning to rise on the back of my head, it also just covered my stitches from when he busted a beer bottle in my head a few weeks ago. I told everyone it was a skateboarding accident. I looked at it, it was healing up pretty well. It was just above my left eye. My eyes weren't blood shot, they were just their normal gray-green-blue hazel color.

My dad gave the door one final kick and left. A few minutes later, there was a timid knock that could be none other than Kenny. I went over and unlocked the door.

"Come on in Kenny." I said opening the door. He walked in, and I closed the door. Kenny didn't look anything like me really. We had the same eyes though, our whore of a mother's eyes. He might grow to look like me though, he was only fourteen and short with straight blonde-ish hair.

I noticed a bruise on Kenny's face. I leaned over to inspect it. I tried to take most of the hits, but I couldn't always be there.

"What happened Ken?" I asked. It was a pretty nasty bruise so dark it was almost black.

"Dad." he answered looking at the floor. We sat in silence for a few moments until his head suddenly snapped up.

"You've been drinking." he accused me.

I groaned in response.

"Darren, why do you do it? You could end up like him." He said.

I swallowed the lump that rose in my throat. I would NEVER end up like him.

"Kenny you know. When Lis-

"Yeah, yeah when Lissy moved away you were so heartbroken and upset you never told her that you liked her, so you started hanging around Mason and Tony and you just got addicted to it all." he mimicked.

I looked down. I didn't like the drinking or the drugs really, but I couldn't stop. It was a part of me, like breathing except it felt so much more important than breathing.

"What if Lissy saw you now?" Kenny asked staring at me.

"I don't know, she probably wouldn't like what she saw." I murmured. Lissy wasn't here though so there was no reason to stop, even if she was I wasn't sure if I could stop.