Academy: Seduction

It is not a pleasant day when one has possibly ruined the greatest friendship they have ever developed. I was so stupid, so idiotic that I couldn’t think straight, I needed to understand what the hell was wrong with me. Why I had destroyed all that was left of my friendship with Jayden. I had never been able to trust people easily, but with Jayden, I just couldn’t help myself get attached. I tried to do things right, but I guess I always screw things up between us in the end. The moment he said those three words, it was enough to make my heart stop, I mean he didn’t mean them right? Though I guess I could understand if it was from the heart, I did in fact break his fragile heart in return, something I was not too ecstatic about, sure I’ve probably broken a million hearts –Okay so I’m over-exaggerating…just a little- and not have had a care in the world, but with Jayden…it was different, he was my friend, my best mate and I’ve just crushed his heart, which doesn’t deserve to get shattered into a million tiny pieces, especially by someone like me.

I held my flustered face in my trembling hands, all that was occupying my mind right now was one question; was Anastasia really worth it? Was she worth all the hurt and the pain that Jayden was absorbing because of this situation, was this relationship really worth Jayden’s heart? My mind was telling me that it was, and besides he had a boyfriend who I presumed he had strong feelings for. My heart clenched at the thought. This was the only relationship that I’ve ever been in, everything else was all flings, and didn’t I have to prove myself to Jayden that I had changed, that I wasn’t one of those people anymore? But then again he was the one who said that he wanted the old me back. In my mind Anastasia was the one girl that I’ve ever considered dating, that I’ve ever had feelings for. But my heart told a different story, like I said before; Jayden didn’t deserve all this agony, and that all this was not worth it because it was affecting other people’s feelings. I don’t know why I’m getting so worked up about this, I mean it was technically my fault that Jayden hates me, after all, I did have a go at him at the café…but we always fought like that, why would this time be anything different?

By the time I looked up at the analog clock that was hanging crookedly on the beige coloured wall, it was almost 9.30pm. The door creaked open and I looked up to see Jayden’s forlorn face, his eyes didn’t have that glow in them like they usually did, you could almost but barely see the tear stains that ran along his well-defined cheeks. His pink lips had a pale look to them and his shoulders had slumped into a position that clearly defined that his heart was damaged. I’ve read him like a book one too many times to decipher the fact that his body language explained all that I’ve done. Jayden looked up for a split second, surprise written all over his face, I guess he’d expect me to be with Anastasia and not in the dorm. He headed over to the room and slammed the door shut, locking it in the process, guess I’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I reclined my body onto the soft couch. I was about to fall into a deep slumber until Anastasia’s voice filled my ears. Wonderful.

“Babe, you would never believe what happened!” She shrieked, I opened my right eye and glanced up at her. Her make-up was smeared over her eyes and her lips pursed into a pout, a clog of foundation was visible where Jayden had socked her in the face, I internally snickered at the thought. I instantly noticed the imperfections that Anastasia had possessed, things that I wouldn’t have noticed before today. She was just like every other girl that I’ve fucked over, her face was packed with make-up it made her once flawless skin, appear gross and uneven. Her baby blue eyes lost its sparkle that I once admired, and her skin tone was not naturally, as it was a disgusting orange, a result of her fake tan. I ignored her, obviously not in the mood to speak to anyone or listen to her nasally voice. Maybe this was wrong, maybe I should just listen to my heart, I know it’s a cliché and overused line but it’s true. Maybe Anastasia wasn’t worth it all. I’ve heard others say that people are only in it for the chase, maybe I was one of those people, I liked Ana but Jayden’s made me see the big picture, see that sometimes once you have someone in the palm of your hand, you get that feeling of letting go. I think it was the whole notion that Troy Murdock had been the first boy at Xavier James to fuck the first girl who’s ever attended this Academy, that I was instantly turned off and yet I still wanted her for myself.

“Asher! Aren’t you listening to me!” She shrieked, god she was so annoying, I watched as her mouth moved up and down, her eye-brows furrowed together and her hands laid firmly on her hips. I looked at her and studied her…what did I ever see in girls like her? It was moments later that I finally was left in a tranquil state of mind, and Anastasia stomped over to her room and started to sob obnoxiously loud. At this very moment, I did not care. Not even a bit.

“Yo dude, your girlfriend is crying and it’s really starting to irritate me,” Spencer had made his entrance and sat on the reclining chair opposite mine. Spencer was…what’s the word, normal, I guess. He wasn’t quite the jock though he did participate in a variety of sports and his IQ was just above average, I guess he was the type of guy that didn’t approve of stereotypes. Tristan, his twin, on the other hand was not quite like his brother, but we’ll save that story for later.

“Well, just leave her be,” I muttered softly under my breath, Spencer raised an inquiring brow in my direction.

“Asher, I heard what happened in the café today. You really messed up Jayden…” He started, I knew where this was going…another damn lecture. “You really need to decide who’s side you’re on, your homophobic slut or your best friend and from what I heard it looks like you’ve already decided-”

“I’m not choosing sides Spence! Look, I know what I did to Jayden has possibly ruined our friendship but ever since Ana arrived, I’ve developed feelings for her, feelings that I’ve never felt towards anyone else!” I was on the verge of exploding.

“Yeah but think about how much you’re hurting Jay! Did you know when he first discovered his ‘sexuality’ and that he’s liked you since he met you, he’s been tearing himself down because he’s know that you’ll never return his feelings, but he just has that ounce of hope that motivates him to continue going after you even after all the things you‘ve done with your flings and dates, even after all the pain you’ve caused him during those sleepless nights, he’s in too deep Ash,” Spencer lowered his voice to keep Jayden from hearing our conversation.

“H-How do you know all this?” I asked, did Jayden talk to Spencer about it?
“Jay’s too easy to read, I mean we were all roommates for the past what 3 years? You could read his emotions in his eyes,” Spencer snickered. “Well, you better go calm Anastasia down, I’m going to head out, Later!”

As soon as Spencer left the building, I entered Anastasia’s room and saw that she was still sobbing into the palms of her hands. Might as well get this over and done with.

“Hey hey now, don’t cry…I’m sorry that I ignored you okay? I just have a lot on my mind at the moment,” I started, she looked at me through tear-glazed eyes.
“I forgive you, I’m just really upset about what happened in the café and to have you ignore me only made it worse,” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, I knew she was lying –suck up- but I nodded my head nonetheless. This was the moment of truth, not one day in of dating her and I need to break up with her.

“Anastasia, I think we need to-” She cut me off and gave me a peck on the lips. She started to pull me into her and wrapped her claw like fingers around my neck. I had the sudden urge to push her away, why does this feel so wrong? Surely I would usually take advantage of the situation but right now, it felt…gross. My thoughts flew over to Anastasia having sex with Troy, Anastasia flirting with Matt (I saw it across the street!) and Anastasia treating Jayden like a bag of shit. She was definitely not worth it.

“Please, stop.” I pushed her off of me and she threw me a ludicrous expression and I gracefully exited the room, all the while thinking about Jayden and how I was going to make it up to him.