Contagious

Monday came way too fast. Paul and Parker left the dance soon after her fight with Martin leaving Paul beyond confused. When he asked Parker what happened, she just shrugged and said simply that Martin was just being Martin. Paul accepted it. Sunday came and Parker stayed in bed most of the day, guitar resting on her lap and a notebook open in front of her, scribbling down her thoughts as fast as she could. She ignored everyone's calls and told them she wasn't feeling well before she finally went to bed.

On Monday she woke up with a migraine and no energy. She barely slept, instead tossing and turning all night, her fight with Martin replaying itself in her head over and over. She finally crawled out of bed and dragged on a pair of black sweatpants, a white To Write Love On Her Arms shirt, and her black North Face. She pulled on her Chucks and ran a hand through her hair, shrugging. She wasn't in the mood to try to deal with it. Realizing she was running late, she grabbed her phone and her bag before rushing out the door to meet Orion.

“You look like shit,” Orion told her as they walked to school.

Parker shrugged. “Happens.”

“What did Martin do?”

Parker just sent her a look.

“It's always Martin,” Orion said, shrugging. “Paul said you wanted to leave right after it was announced that Martin and Dallas won. And Ross said you turned your phone off which is something you never do.”

She sighed. “I legit don't care that Martin and Dallas won. That's the least of my worries. And speaking of, how was your date with Ross?”

“Don't change the subject,” Orion said, a small blush creeping up onto her cheeks. “So what did he say?”

Parker groaned. “I'm just so fucking sick of talking about Martin. I'm over it and I told him that. He said he didn't know me anymore and I said fine, then consider us strangers,” she explained, shrugging. “He's trying to make me feel guilty about kissing him back and I'm over the drama.”

“Hmm,” Orion mused, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers.

“What?”

“Martin's not over you. That's all.”

She sighed. “Tell me something I don't know,” she grumbled.

Orion smiled. “Buck up, kid. You have the two hottest guys in school lusting over you.”

“Yeah, but I only want one of them,” she said, looking at her feet.

“We're talking about Paul, right?”

Parker looked up. “Hmm?”

“I said, we're talking about Paul, right?”

“What? Oh, yeah,” Parker said, nodding. “Completely.”

Orion wasn't convinced. “What's going on with you?”

Parker sighed and pointed at the school. “We're almost there.”

“I know.”

“Can we talk later?”

Orion nodded. “She better.”

+

Parker was curious to see how her first encounter with Martin would play out after their discussion at the dance. Half of her hoped he would ignore her words and they would argue like normal, like she was used to, while her more logical side hoped he would just leave her alone. She would only admit to herself that she was probably just as confused as he was.

When she first spotted Martin the hallway before their first class, a part of her stopped flipped. She remained by her locker, curious to see how he was going to react.

He didn't.

React, that is.

He walked right on by her. He didn't even make eye contact.

Her stomach flopped.

Just like another stranger.

+

You treat me just like another stranger.
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir.
I guess I'll go.
I best be on my way out.

Ignorance is your new best friend.
Ignorance is your new best friend.

Bryce set his drumsticks down on his snare. “I think this is one of our best songs yet, Parks. It's great.”

“Thanks, man,” Parker said, spinning the microphone in her hand.

Ross picked at the strings on his guitar. “Whenever we can finally record, I think this will be our best album yet.”

She laughed. “Yeah, that'll be next year,” she joked, rolling her eyes.

“Well, with a mom like yours...” Bryce joked, shrugging.

Parker laughed again. “Let's keep practicing...”

+

“You should come to our band practice tomorrow night,” Paul suggested.

Parker rolled her eyes and closed the book on her lap. “I don't think that would be a wise decision.”

Paul rolled onto his back on her bed, looking up at her as she leaned against her headboard. “Why not? You haven't been since that first day.”

“For a reason,” Parker told him. “You know how awkward it is with me and martin.”

“Well, both of you need to get over it. I don't want my best friend and my girlfriend being all awkward and uncomfortable around each other.”

Parker smiled. “Girlfriend, huh?”

Paul flushed lightly. “Well, I, uh—I thought it was kind of, you know, implied since we, uh, went to the dance together and...yeah...”

Parker smiled. “It was implied but never explicitly stated.

“Well...do you want it to be? Explicit, that is?”

She nodded slowly. “I think I would be okay with that.”

“You think you would?”

“Mhmm,” Parker said, leaning over and brushing her lips across his. The tips of her hair brushed across his jaw.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Paul asked her, lips brushing hers with each syllable. Parker nodded and Paul's hand cupped the back of her neck, molding their mouths together again. Parker rested a hand on his chest to balance herself as Paul sat up, their lips parting for the briefest moment while he readjusted, his back pressing against her headboard.

Parker threw one leg over his, straddling his lap. Paul's hand landed on her waist, fingers slipping under her shirt, cold fingers pressing against her warm stomach. A soft sound escaped her lips, her fingers gripped his hair as their kiss deepened. Paul's hands traveled up further, hesitantly, barely brushed across the bottom of her bra. Parker's thoughts drifted away from the kiss, away from Paul's hands on her body, and finally landed on the one memory she was trying to forget.

+

”Martin? What are you doing here?”

Martin smiled and shrugged carelessly, climbing in her window.

“My parents are in bed so you have to be quiet, okay?” she told him, her voice barely above a whisper.

Martin laughed. “It's barely midnight.”

Parker smacked his arm. “Shut up! I won't be the only one here in trouble, you know,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I know. I just wanted to see you. Paul said you're leaving to go on tour in a couple weeks,” he said, walking over to her. He ran his hands down her bare arms. “I thought you would've told me yourself. Either way, you'll be gone for the whole summer. What will I do without my Parker?”

She bit her lip. She didn't want to lie to him but she didn't think she had the strength to tell him the truth. “You'll figure it out,” she told him, avoiding the blue eyes she loved so much. She couldn't look at him and lie. She couldn't look at him and break his heart. She couldn't do it. She wasn't prepared to see the look on his face and suddenly felt short of breath, uncomfortable, as if her shorts and tank top were too tight or not enough at the same time.

“Parker... What's wrong?” His voice was soft, unsure. He didn't know if he had done anything wrong; that was the last thing he wanted. He stepped closer, barely six inches of space between the two of them, and he kept his hands on her arms. “Look at me, P. What did I do?”

“Nothing, Martin. Honestly, you did nothing,” she told him, her voice close to cracking.

Martin lifted a hand to her chin, forcing their eyes to meet. The last think he wanted to see was Parker leave but he knew the sight of her crying made his heart want to break.

“I just don't want to go,” she said simply. It was the easiest way to answer without lying.

“Then don't.”

“Martin...”

“No, I know,” he said. “This is your dream. You have to go.”

She sighed. “I just...wish I had more time.”

“You and me both.”

“I should really get some sleep,” Parker said, her voice soft.

Martin nodded. “Yeah, sure. I'll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah, sure,” she said, looking down again, distracted.

Martin smiled before leaning down and kissing her forehead, lips lingering against the pale skin. “See you in the morning, beautiful.”

Only after Martin was out her window, the glass panes shut tightly, did she finally cry. She wasn't going to see him in the morning. In fact, she wasn't sure when she was going to see him again at all. She pulled out her phone and typed a quick text; I'm leaving in the morning. I don't know when I'll be back. I miss you already. She selected Martin's name, fingers fiddling with her keys. She hesitated, fingers poised over the key to hit 'send' before stopping. No, she couldn't send it yet. Groaning, she tossed her phone onto her bed before crawling under the covers and crying herself to sleep.

She was awoken in the middle of the night by hands pounding on her window. She jolted out of bed, her cell phone falling from her hand, and she saw Martin on the ledge outside her window, frowning. He did not look happy. She picked up her cell phone and saw that her last message had sent.

“Fuck,” she whispered to herself, walking over to the window slowly, opening it.

Martin pushed right past her, eyes blazing. “You fucking lied to me, Parker!”

“Keep your voice down,” she told him for the second time that night. She rubbed her eyes and glanced at the clock—it was three in the morning.

“Don't fucking chastise me for my volume, Parker. I just found out you're leaving in the fucking morning!” Martin said, taking his voice down on octave but it didn't mask his anger.

“I didn't mean to send that to you,” she said softly, looking down.

“So, what, you were just going to tell me after you left? Before or after I waited all morning for you so we could go to Dennys like we always do on the first day of summer?” Martin asked. “You lied! You told me a few weeks.”

She shook her head. “No, I told Paul a few weeks. Paul told you.”

“So you lied to Paul. And you never even bothered to tell me yourself,” Martin said. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I didn't know how to tell you!”

“That's a bullshit excuse and you know it, Parker.”

Parker shook her head. “Stop yelling at me, Martin,” she said. “I didn't want to tell you.”

Martin froze. “You didn't want to?”

“No.”

“Why the fuck not? I'm your best friend!”

“You're more than that and you know it, Martin,” she said quietly. “I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to see the look on your face.”

“What look?”

“The one you have now! The look that says your heart is breaking just like mine is. I know it's hard on you because it's killing me, too,” she told him. “You're the last person on earth I want to leave.”

Martin paused and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I would have wanted to hear the truth,” he told her finally.

Parker shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

Martin crossed the room and crushed their lips together without saying another word. He didn't have much time. He just wanted to be with her in whatever way possible. Parker kissed back just as eagerly, frustration building up and she found herself lying on her back, pulling Martin's shirt over his head before their lips reconnected. Her fingers found his hair, holding him close as his hands reached her shorts. It was as if time slowed down and passed in an instant at the same time. The next thing she knew, she was crying against Martins' bare chest as they lay together, legs entwined and arms around each other, as she waited for the sun to rise, as she waited for the moment where she would have to leave the only safe place she knew.

+

Parker pulled away from Paul as his fingers traced the skin where her jeans met her hips. She was getting lost in the moment and regret was not something she felt often; it wasn't something she wanted in her life. She ran her mouth across her lips and she looked down at Paul from where she was still straddling his waist. “I—“

Paul shook his head. “No, no, I know,” he said, sucking in a deep breath. “We got carried away.”

She nodded. “I don't want to regret this.”

“I don't want you to either.”

She leaned in and kissed him once, quickly, before climbing off of his lap and straightening her shirt. “Um... Uh...” she shook her head. “I'm sorry.”

“For what?” Paul asked, laughing slightly. “You did nothing wrong.”

“I kinda led you on.”

“You didn't,” he told her, standing up and kissing her quickly. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close. “Are you okay? You seem out of it.”

She nodded, forcing herself to leave the past in the past and not remember how Martin's hands felt against her skin, his breath against her neck. “Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.”