Contagious

"Told you they'd get together again," Paul said, his voice low. His arm was wrapped around Parker's waist as they walked into school. Sure enough, Dallas was leaning against the wall, twirling one blond curl around her index finger while Martin stood next to her, whispering something in her ear that caused her to giggle loudly.

Parker rolled her eyes, instantly looking away when Martin's eyes found hers across the hallway. She thought it was a figment of her imagination but she could have sworn Martin smirked at her before leaning in to kiss Dallas. "Disgusting," she muttered before leading Paul in the opposite direction and towards her locker. She switched her books in her bag with the ones in her locker quickly before turning to face Paul. "How are you okay with the fact that Martin and I kissed? Shouldn't you be wanting to rip one of our faces off?"

Paul laughed. "I mean, that's one way to look at it."

"Seriously, Paul."

He shrugged. "I mean, I could waste energy being upset and waste time wanting to hurt him. But it wouldn't change anything. We weren't together so you didn't cheat. And... I don't know. I believe you when you say it won't happen again, Parker."

"Oh," she said, eyes falling on the floor. "I wish I had that kind of strength."

"It's a mixture of strength and insecurity, I imagine..."

She leaned up and brushed their lips together. "You have absolutely no reason to be insecure, Poolie. You are an amazing man."

Paul rolled his eyes, trying to fight the faint blush that stained his cheeks. "Yeah, yeah, if you say so."

+

Awkward. Martin and Paul had decided to move on with their friendship and eat lunch together, causing Parker to fall silent as Dallas hung all over Martin. She fiddled with the food on her tray, listening to Martin and Dallas talk about spring break.

"What are you two doing over spring break?" Martin asked, taking a drink of his Sobe.

"Nothing much," Paul said, taking a bite of his hamburger.

"We're going to my parents cabin down south for a few days. We leave Monday," Dallas said, a smile on her face. "I figured we needed some alone time."

Parker scoffed.

"Problem?" Dallas asked.

"Just doesn't sound like a fun spring break. I mean, being stuck in a cabin with you and all. I'd rather be in a mosh pit while at a concert for A Day to Remember," Parker said, her eyes locking with Martin. Okay, maybe she was trying to rub it in Martin's face since she knew he was a fan. But he deserved it.

Martin frowned. "This isn't a competition, Parker."

"Then stop making it one," she snapped. "And if it was, I would win because we're hanging out with the guys afterwards. Which beats hanging out in a cabin any day of the week."

"Maybe for you," Dallas muttered.

Parker rolled her eyes. "And judging by the look on Martin's face, he agrees with me. Too bad I won't get you guys an extra ticket, huh?" she asked, picking up her tray and walking away.

Paul sighed and stood up, following her to the front of the cafeteria where she was throwing her half-eaten lunch away. "Are you okay, babe?"

She nodded.

"Are you lying?"

She felt herself smile slightly. "I just feel like she's trying to rub it in my face that she has him. Are you kidding? The girl is so desperate for attention, it's actually quite pathetic."

"You really hate her, don't you?"

"I hate her personality. And I hate girls like her," Parker said.

Paul bit his lip. "I think you're jealous."

Parker's head whipped towards Paul. "What?"

He shrugged.

"Why would you say that?"

"You get so defensive when she's around and you constantly try to one up her," Paul said.

"Maybe I'm just competitive and have a need to make sure people know I'm better than them?"

He laughed in spite of himself. "Maybe that's it."

"I'm not jealous, I promise, Paul," she said, reaching out for his hand. "I just have a constant need to...act like I'm better than everyone else. I don't know. She just brings out the worst in me."

"She does hate you quite a bit," Paul agreed, mumbling.

Parker laughed. "Yeah, I wonder why," she muttered sarcastically.

Paul smiled. "Because you're prettier."

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up."

+

If God's the game you're playing,
Well, we must get more acquainted,
Because it has to be so lonely,
To be the only one who's holy.

It's just my humble opinion,
But it's one that I believe in,
You don't deserve a point of view,
If the only thing you see is you...

Parker threw her pen down on her notebook, sighing dejectedly. She looked up at Orion. 'What do you think?”

Orion nodded. “You're really mad at Martin, huh?”

She scrunched her eyebrows together, confused. “What?”

Orion rolled her eyes. “It's as clear as day, Parker. The only one who can't see it is Paul.”

“What are you talking about?”

“And apparently you,” she muttered before sighing. “Look. You're not over Martin.”

“Yes, I am,” Parker said.

“No. You want to be. There's a difference,” Orion said. “I'm not going to rush out and tell Paul but I'm surprised he can't see it himself.”

Parker sighed. “See what?”

“The way you still look at him. And the way he still looks at you,” Orion told her. “Look, I'm all for you and Paul because he's a great guy. But you're playing with him. And he's so wrapped up in the fact that a girl prefers him over Martin that he can't tell that you're still in love with Martin.”

“Orion—“

“I know that you want to move on, Parker, and I accept that. But you can't keep denying it. That's why you hate Dallas so much, that's why Martin infuriates you so much.”

“No, we just know each other too well. He knows the right buttons to press to get a rise out of me,” Parker said, dismissing her point with a wave of her hand.

“Parker—“

“I don't want to talk about this anymore, Orion,” Parker said, shutting her notebook and pulling out her cell phone. She had missed two messages from Jeremy and she replied quickly, confirming that they were still going to the show the following night and that backstage passes were a must. “How are we getting to the concert?” she asked, looking up at her friend.

Orion sighed. “I guess we can take my car. I mean, it's old as fuck but it should be able to make the journey.”

She nodded slowly. “Sure. I'll pay for the gas,” she offered.

“If you're mad at me for what I said, you can just say so, you know,” Orion told her.

“I'm not mad,” Parker said. “I just... It's difficult. Because...you're right. A part of me...hasn't moved on. But the majority of me wants to so bad and never look back.”

“Are you going to tell Paul?”

“Tell me what?”

Parker looked up from her spot against the wall and smiled. “Tell you how pretty you are.”

Paul rolled his eyes and pulled his baseball cap further down over his head. “Don't mock me.”

She laughed. “I'm not mocking you. We're leaving tomorrow at about four for the show. Orion's gonna drive.”

Paul frowned. “I don't know if I like the sound of that... Can your Trans Am make it?”

“My Trans Am is beast,” Orion said, “and my baby will get us there just fine.”

“If we die, it's your fault,” Parker muttered, causing Paul to laugh lightly.

Orion rolled her eyes. “Whatever, haters. I'm gonna get going. Ross and I are going out,” she told them, before sending her friends a wink and walking off.

Paul reached out his hand and pulled Parker off of the ground. “Excited for spring break?”

She laughed. “Hell, yeah. I need some time away from this place.”

“And we don't have to come back for a week,” Paul reminded her, lacing their fingers together as they walked out of the school. As expected, the few students who remained after final bell were chatting noisily about their plans and rushing to get home. Paul wasn't rushing; he felt as if he had all of the time in the world. He lead her down the familiar path they took every day, walking in comfortable silence.

“Are you excited to see the band tomorrow?”

Paul smiled. “Incredibly.”

She noticed his drop in tone. “Are you mad I didn't invite Martin?”

He shrugged. “Not exactly. We're just...in a weird place again.”

“What's wrong?” she asked.

Paul shrugged again. “He's stressing himself out over a song he's going to play for the talent show at the end of the year. And he and Dallas are fighting again. And of course he's doubting their relationship again, right before they go out of town. And he's saying we need to practice more during the week, which is fine, except it cuts into our time to hang out,” he explained. “It's just a mess.”

Parker sighed. “Our school has a talent show?”

Paul laughed in spite of himself. “Yeah, it's a mess. Like, anyone can play or sing or dance or whatever. But Martin takes it really serious because he's lining up some gigs for us in the next few months.”

“You guys can do it,” Parker said. “I know you guys are good.”

“And...he kind of wants to ask for your help, since you know the business and all. But I thought that would be a little weird. I don't want you thinking that we're using you or anything, you know?” Paul explained.

“I know you're not using me,” she said. “I don't mind to help you guys. Maybe get a few reps at one of your shows?”

Paul shook his head vigorously. “No. No way, Parker. I can't ask you to do that.”

“You're not asking. I'm offering.”

He shook his head again. “No. No, we're gonna do this one our own. There's a sense of pride in that, you know?” he said. “We just...want to know we can do it without connections.”

“Connections aren't always a bad thing. Just because I could get people there doesn't mean they would automatically sign you just based on my opinion,” she told him. “A lot of thought goes into it.”

“I know,” he told her. “But I really wanna do this on my own. Martin might not but I do. It's important to me.”

She smiled up at him. “I understand that. That's exactly how I am.”

Paul smiled as they walked up the steps to her house. “Thank you.”

Parker laughed slightly, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “For what?”

He shrugged. “Giving me something to look forward to every day. Especially with all of this shit that's been going on over the past few months.”

She flushed slightly, looking down at her battered Vans. “You're making me blush,” she whispered.

“Good,” Paul said, tilting her jaw up and pressing their lips together.

Even though Paul didn't make her feel quite the way Martin did, he did do something different. Her heart might not have raced at the mention of his name or seeing him from ten feet away, but it did something else. It swelled and it made her feel as if things would be okay. There might not have been as much drama with Paul, and that was a blessing and a curse. Paul was stable, Paul was safe, and those were two things Parker hadn't had for a long time. And even though Martin could offer many different things—spontaneity, getting kicked out of Wal-Mart in the middle of the night, sweating palms, a racing heartbeat—she wasn't sure he could offer what she needed: a safe home. But she knew there was one thing Martin could offer her that Paul couldn't. No matter how hard he tried, Paul could never make her love the way Martin could.