Daddy and Me

Joey’s trapped under the clothes basket, screaming his head off.
“Joey, Joey,” I say toweling off as fast as I can and puling on my underwear. “You trap yourself?”
He just screams his response and rattles the basket. I pull him out from under the basket and prop him up on the sink counter.
“Can you sit here while I shave?’ I ask him ruffling his hair.
“Bah,” he says, his voice muffled behind his pacifier.
“Yeah? You think you can do that?”
“Bahbah,” he says, dropping his pacifier and grinning.
“Okay,” I sight, turning on the water and testing it for heat.
“So, where did mama put my stuff?” I say rooting through the sink drawers. Adrienne always moves my stuff to somewhere I can’t find it.
“Ah,” I exclaim, pulling out the necessary supplies and setting to work.
“Here,” I say screwing on the cap of the toothpaste tube tightly and handing it to Joey. He takes it and proceeds to bang it on the counter, squealing in delight. Someone’s way to easily amused. Seriously.
I shave and wash off my face.
“Ready?” I say, taking the toothpaste from him and scooping him up, heading to the bedroom.
“WAAAAAAAH!” he screams, reaching out over my shoulder for the toothpaste.
“Oh, come on,” I say patting his back to shoosh him. “There are way better things than toothpaste. He continues to freak, so I set him on the bed and go get the toothpaste.
“Here,” I give it back to him and he takes it, smiling. “Okay, just let me get dressed, then we’ll get you ready, then we’ll go to this lame thing. Sound good?”
I look over my shoulder to see him chewing on the cap of the toothpaste.
“Joey, stop,” I sigh, pulling it out of his mouth and tossing it up to the head of the bed. He flops over onto his stomach and crawls up to the head of the bed, retrieving it and continuing to suck on it.
“Joey,” I whine at him. I can’t help it. I’m getting frustrated. I pick him up and pull the tube out of his mouth, chucking it back into the bathroom. He starts to cry again.
“Shhh,” I say, bouncing him and trying to calm him down. I hop over to the closet, grab some clothes and hop back over to the bed. Usually jumping around calms him down, and it’s kind of working now, but he’s still crying a little.
I plop him back down on the bed and scoot into the bathroom to get his pacifier.
“Suck,” I say, returning to the bed and sticking it in his mouth. He follows my instructions and I get dressed as fast as I damn well can.
“Okay,” I say, standing back from the bed and surveying my accomplishments. “You next.”
I grab him and his pacifier and hightail it to his nursery. We are running way later than I had expected. Good thing Adie woke me up so damn early.
“Okay, okay,” I say sitting him on the changing table and going through his dresser drawers. Seriously this kid has way to many clothes. That’s basically all Adie got for her baby shower. It’s insane. I get out some shit and dress him.
“Okay,” I say picking him up and jogging downstairs to the kitchen. There’s a note on the table.
“Mama left us a note, I see,” I say setting him on the table and picking up the note.
“Bah,” Joey says, grabbing a spoon and banging it on the table.
“Shut it,” I say clapping the spoon and his hand down on the table. “I am so hungover right now, okay?”
He stares at me and when I let go of his hand, he starts banging it again.
“No, Joey,” I sigh, stealing it from him and tossing it into the sink. HE looks at me with wide eyes, like he’s going to freak again.
“Food?” You want food?” I set to rifling through the fridge. I can see Adie left me coffee so I pour a cup and cut up a banana for me and Joey to share.

“Alright,” I say wiping his face off when he finishes his banana. “Are we ready to get going?”
He grins at me and I pull him out of his highchair, hauling him out the car.