Daddy and Me
Arrowroot... YUM
Adrienne’s car’s in the driveway when I pull up.
“We’re back,” I yell unenthusiastically, closing the front door behind me. She calls out something inaudible from the kitchen direction.
“What?” I say rounding the corner into the kitchen.
“I said, did you have fun,” she says, pulling shit out of the refrigerator. Hopefully she’s making food.
“No,” I mumble. “it was horrible.”
I put Joey in his highchair and lay my head on the table. “You don't even know.”
“His eyes are all red,” she says, putting some graham cracker-y type things on the tray of his highchair.
“He was abused, we both were,” I say, stealing one of the crackers from his tray, he screams, reaching for it.
“BAH!”
“Okay, okay,” I sigh giving it back. Adie laughs, handing me one from the box.
“What do you mean?”
“Two words:”
“Yes?”
“Baby massage.”
She does a really bad job of hiding her laughter behind her hand.
“Oh yeah, it was baby massage day,” I sneer.
“I’m sorry,” she laughs.
“Don’t lie,” I moan. “If you should say you’re sorry to anyone, it should be Joey.”
“did you suffer?” she coos at him, rubbing his hair.
“Bah,” he says.
“I suffered,” I whine.
“I thought you said that he was the one I should be apologizing to,” she says.
“Well, me too. It was horrendous. First off, I’m not into the parent group bullshit. Secondly I get there and learn it’s baby massage day. Give me a fucking break.”
“I’m sorry you’re so tortured,” she says laying her head on the table so we’re at eye level.
“You should be.”
She smirks.
“I take it you’re not dead,” I say yawning.
“No…” she says looking confused.
“Doctor?” I offer.
“Oh, yeah. No, not dead.”
“Or knocked up,” I add.
“No not that either.”
“And then this woman was totally trying to pick up on me. It was so gross,” I blather. “You don't’ even know.”
Adie grins at me, smacking me with Joey's soggy Roger.
“We’re back,” I yell unenthusiastically, closing the front door behind me. She calls out something inaudible from the kitchen direction.
“What?” I say rounding the corner into the kitchen.
“I said, did you have fun,” she says, pulling shit out of the refrigerator. Hopefully she’s making food.
“No,” I mumble. “it was horrible.”
I put Joey in his highchair and lay my head on the table. “You don't even know.”
“His eyes are all red,” she says, putting some graham cracker-y type things on the tray of his highchair.
“He was abused, we both were,” I say, stealing one of the crackers from his tray, he screams, reaching for it.
“BAH!”
“Okay, okay,” I sigh giving it back. Adie laughs, handing me one from the box.
“What do you mean?”
“Two words:”
“Yes?”
“Baby massage.”
She does a really bad job of hiding her laughter behind her hand.
“Oh yeah, it was baby massage day,” I sneer.
“I’m sorry,” she laughs.
“Don’t lie,” I moan. “If you should say you’re sorry to anyone, it should be Joey.”
“did you suffer?” she coos at him, rubbing his hair.
“Bah,” he says.
“I suffered,” I whine.
“I thought you said that he was the one I should be apologizing to,” she says.
“Well, me too. It was horrendous. First off, I’m not into the parent group bullshit. Secondly I get there and learn it’s baby massage day. Give me a fucking break.”
“I’m sorry you’re so tortured,” she says laying her head on the table so we’re at eye level.
“You should be.”
She smirks.
“I take it you’re not dead,” I say yawning.
“No…” she says looking confused.
“Doctor?” I offer.
“Oh, yeah. No, not dead.”
“Or knocked up,” I add.
“No not that either.”
“And then this woman was totally trying to pick up on me. It was so gross,” I blather. “You don't’ even know.”
Adie grins at me, smacking me with Joey's soggy Roger.