Wonderwall

Shutting the door behind her, locking it and then tossing her purse on the small table in the entryway of her apartment, she noticed her answering machine was blinking with a 1. Most people that called her landline wouldn’t leave messages because most of them were telemarketers. She pushed play and shrugged off her coat and hung it in the closet as she listened.

You have one new message: ‘Hey, it, it’s me…I…I need you to check your email…it, it’s not, well it is important, but, but only when you have a chance…I’m rambling, sorry. I sent you something.’ Click. End of new messages.

She just stared at the machine; he’s never left her a message. Usually if she doesn’t answer her cell or her landline he’ll send her a text message. She pulled out her phone to notice she didn’t have a missed call or a message from him. That’s strange. She toed her shoes off, leaving them haphazardly on the floor and made her way to the kitchen. She pulled out her leftovers from the other night and tossed them in the microwave and headed to her room.

She changed out of her work clothes into her pajamas and headed back out to the kitchen. She opened up her laptop that sat on the counter. She turned it on and gathered her re-heated Chinese, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down on the stool at the counter. She clicked open her internet and waited for her homepage to load. She took a few bites after clicking for her inbox and opening the message from him. She downloaded the attachment and waited for it to load.

She noticed her media player pop up and in the middle of the screen was his frozen face. She let out a small laugh; it was a very unflattering image. She hit play.

“I, I got your letter and, and I…well I had to say something in reply. I mean I couldn’t just not say something to that…”

She watched as he ran a hand through his hair and sat back, adjusting himself on his bed so that he was sitting cross-legged. He reached out of frame and pulled back his acoustic guitar.

“Well, firstly, Happy Valentines Day. Granted the date at the bottom of this makes that a lie, but I won’t send it till then, so, yeah…”

She smiled at his nervousness. She tended to do that to him and it took her watching him on film to realize that. He’d always run his hand through his hair, or fiddle with the bottom of his shirt, or if he wore a jacket the cuff of the sleeve. She listened as he clumsily strummed a few chords. He was looking down at the guitar in his lap, tuning and strumming before he finally brought his gaze back up to the screen.

“I…I know you’ve heard it before, but, but I wasn’t exactly truthful when you first heard it….I…I did write it for you…I, I just didn’t…I didn’t know how to tell you that without you thinking I was an idiot or…or something…I, I’m not like you, I, I’m not gifted with expressing my opinion, or my emotions and especially when it comes to you…I’m sorry I’ve been an idiot, this is for you. It’s the only way I know how to tell you.”

Her heart froze in her chest; she knew the song, or at least the demo he sent her a while back. She knew that song like the back of her hand and not just because it was his, she genuinely liked it. She put her food on the counter and focused all of her attention on the screen in front of her. She noticed what should be the piano intro being strummed on his guitar.

Tell me why you want to fight this, tell my why you want to feel this on your own. Tell me how to get your interest; I’m so tired of being all alone. We cherish all the little things we say. Embrace in arms to never say goodbye tonight, tonight…

He told her what this song meant; he told her the story behind it. How the boy, whose point of view it’s in is with this girl whom he think he could spend the rest of his life with, but there’s still doubt in the back of his mind. Doubt that comes in the form of his best friend, a friend that’s been there through everything with him; she’s been there at his best and at times the only one at his worst.

Tonight’s the night that I will love you more, if you stay with me I’ll teach you how to soar. So grab my hand so I can take you home tonight. Tell me that you want to keep this, tell me that you want to take the long way home. Tell me that you’re going to love me and I’ll spend my life with you…

She couldn’t fight the watery grin that erupted on her face or the tears that were building up in her eyes. She listened as his voice washed over her, the emotions he could express perfectly in his music, but never outside of it. She watched his fingers dance over the strings on the neck of his guitar, and then up to his face. A tear ran down her cheek as she took in the heartfelt emotions splayed across his face.

We cherish all the little things we say. Embrace in arms to never say goodbye tonight, tonight. Tonight’s the night that I will love you more, if you stay with me I’ll teach you how to soar. So grab my hand so I can take you home tonight.

She knew what that last part meant, about the little things. He always told her that she was the one he goes to when he can’t talk to anyone else about what’s going on. He knows that she’ll just listen, not say anything, but simply listen to him. He also knows that if he does ask, she won’t hold back and he respects and adores that about her; he’s told her so numerous times.

We cherish all the little things we say, embrace in arms to never say goodbye tonight, tonight. Tonight’s the night that I will love you more, if you stay with me I’ll teach you how to soar. So grab my hand so I can take you home tonight…tonight.

She watched as he stopped strumming and simply stared in front of him, almost as if looking right at her. And he just sat there.

“…wow, I didn’t realize how hard that would be to get through with you actually knowing it’s for you…I guess, or…no, I know that this, this is my way…my way of saying that I, that I….that I love you.”

Directly after that he reached forward and stopped recording. She just sat there staring at her screen. Had he really just done that? Without realizing she just started laughing. She clutched her sides and almost fell off her stool from laughing so hard. They were the strangest pair of people she’s ever known. She let out a yelp when her cell phone started going off—causing her to laugh even more. With a laughing hello she answered.

You’re home.

She kept the smile on her face.

“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s not like I have an abundance of people available, plus after the day I had, I just want to be alone.”

Oh…

He’s never sounded that disappointed before.

“I got your video.”

He hung up. She just stared at her phone and then shook her head. She didn’t even bother with calling him back. She tossed her phone back on the counter and slammed her laptop shut. She remembered her words, Because when I give you up, it’s for good. Perhaps it was time to just give him up, regardless if he just told her he loves her.

“Happy Valentines Day to me.”

She walked over to her living room, turning the television and plunking down on the couch. She found ‘Sleepless In Seattle’ and kept in on that channel. She hated the movie but seeing as she had no words for what had just happened to her she couldn’t bring herself to care. She was startled about thirty minutes later when there was a knock at her door. She wasn’t expecting anyone, unless it was one of her friends coming to kidnap her for ‘Singles Awareness Day’ or something remotely stupid like that.

She didn’t have a peephole so she had to wait to see who it was. She had a chain lock so she had a small space to peek through. She was startled to see him standing on her door mat. He had his hands in his pockets, shoulders slumped and desperation radiating off of him waves.

“Hi.”

She just stared at him. She closed the door and unlocked it before opening it fully.

“Hi. What are you doing here?”

He looked down at his feet and toed at the floor in front of him.

“Well are you at least going to come in?”

He nodded and she stepped out of the way to let him in. She closed the door behind him, but didn’t lock it. He glanced into her living room and noticed she had been watching a movie.

“I’m sorry, I, I should’ve…well I did call, but…what I mean is, that I should have…can I just not talk?”

She raised her eyebrow at him and he flushed pink. He took his hands out of his pockets and began fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He bit his lip and finally met her gaze again. He took a deep breath and grabbed her and pulled her to him. He locked gazes with her.

“I love you.”

With that he softly pressed his lips to hers in a chaste closed mouth kiss. His hands were still on her arms and she could only stand there. Blinking as she stared up at him. Without warning he pressed his lips to hers again, this time working against them with his own. Slowly she opened up to him, the shock finally wearing off. It was a lazy kiss, but full of whatever they couldn’t say to each other. When they pulled apart she looked up at him once more and raised her eyebrow again. He flushed even pinker.

“You’re right, we really do have a strange relationship, but I’m willing to give this, us, a chance if you still want to.”

She stared at him for a few moments, inwardly enjoying the nervousness that was crossing his features. She smiled and gave a nod.

“Come on then, finish up this stupid movie with me and then we can talk some more. We’re going to need all the time we can scrounge up to have that conversation.”

He laughed and followed her into the living room and sat down with her on the couch. He pulled her to him like he used to, putting her head on his shoulder and laying his on top. She smiled and put her arm over his stomach and snuggled closer, getting comfortable.

“You’re still an idiot, I hope you know that.”

She felt his chest vibrate with laughter as he nodded against her head.

“I know, I know. Happy Valentines Day to you too.”