January's Holiday

January

“It’s freezing,” I said for at least the tenth time, watching my breath cloud before me. I looked at Joe in just enough time to see the end of his eye roll.

“You don’t have to do this, Gwen,” he said. I could tell he was lying. Opportunities like this one didn’t come often.

My lips formed a tight and straight line before pursing, “I want to,” I admitted gingerly.

When he thought I wasn’t looking, he smiled subtly, pleasantly surprised. He stepped closer to me, bumping my shoulder in a sign of camaraderie. However, he stayed close instead of instead of straying like he normally would have. We just walked slowly up to the beach, shoulder to shoulder, with our hands shoved into our pockets like nothing was wrong. In all honesty, nothing was.

Joe and I took a seat on a large piece of driftwood in front of the ever-lit bonfire. I watched him as he spoke with a few of the boys around, who were with their dates. He fascinated me––the way he socialized, the way his upper lip curled up just slightly when he smiled, the way he squeezed each hand to keep it warm. Being with him felt good––natural, and easy.

“So, are you having fun yet?” he asked, turning his head to me.

I tried my best not to move as I spoke, retaining my body heat. “We just got here,” I said.

Then, without any warning, his arm wrapped around me, pulling me into his warm side. I could feel his hand playing against a belt loop as I shivered violently against him. And he just kept on talking. Normally, this would have crept me out, but I guessed it was the subzero temperatures that changed my mood. Whoever decided that it was a good idea to settle in the mid-west in the middle of winter was obviously crazy.

A girl whom I associated with grinned at me in secret, raising her brows. Her name was Lydia, and we’d grown into casual friends from having so many classes together. Lydia happened to be dating one of Joe’s best friends, which I found ironic.

Joe said something to me, causing me to jump, “What?” I asked.

He smiled, “I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk.”

I nodded, sitting up from him and brushing myself off, “Oh, yeah, sure.”

It was kind of awkward as we walked—neither of us was quite sure of what to say or what to do, until he asked me something surprising, “Can I, um, maybe hold your hand or something?”

We both had gloves on, but I complied. It was only hand holding. He reached for my dangling limb, intertwining his gloved hand with mine. As we strolled down the beach, he finally struck up a safe conversation, “I can’t believe we’re graduating in four months,” he said.

I nodded, “I know… Where will you be going next fall?”

He looked at the ground before meeting my eyes, “I’m going to Columbia,” he said.

My eyebrows rose, and I couldn’t help but smile. I was—well, excited. “You’re going to Columbia? As in the Columbia University in New York City?”

He nodded, not catching my drift, “Yeah…?”

“I’m going to NYU!” I exclaimed eagerly. “I’m going on a scholarship for—”

“For Volleyball, I know,” he said, chuckling at my enthusiasm.

“You know?” I said, a little curious as to how he knew when I didn’t flaunt that around. “How do you know?”

“Gwen, you’re captain of the team,” he said, “It’s like your life.” I couldn’t argue that.

Suddenly giddy, I let go of Joe’s hand. It was starting to snow, and the beach looked open and inviting. I skipped ahead, twirling around as the flakes fell. Joe just laughed, shaking any snow from his perfect hair. “Come on, Joe,” I said. I took both of his hands, dragging him to a clearer spot.

He was resistant, unsure of what I was doing. “What’s with the sudden change of mood?” he asked.

I shrugged, “We’re graduating and going to the same city,” I said, “We’ll—well, I’ll—actually know someone in New York!”

He smiled, “Gwen, you’ve hated me for years.”

“I don’t hate you,” I clarified, “You’re just yet to make my list of top people.” He seemed content with that answer, as it was quite the opposite of what he probably expected.

And so we played in the snow, catching flakes on our tongues and creating makeshift balls of the slush on the ground. It was the most fun I’d ever had with him, and I never wanted to leave his side. He was suddenly my best friend, my guide, my soul mate.

I lost my footing, my arms flailing as I landed on the cold and wet ground. I frowned, embarrassed. But instead of saying anything, Joe offered me his hand and pulled me back up. But our hands didn’t leave each other’s. I sobered up as we stared at each other—we were seeing who we had become. He had grown into a handsome young man who was serious about school and ready to live the rest of his life freely. I opened my mouth slowly, but no words seemed to come out.

And then he kissed me.