Looking for a Lifeline

*Corinne's POV*

"Coming to bed?" Matt leaned into the kitchen as I closed the fridge. He smiled a little as I nodded.

"In a minute, I'm gunna watch some TV... maybe news." I shrugged and walked out to the living room, Matt on my heels "But you're more than welcome to start without me." I Laughed.

He sat down and shook his head "Can't." He laughed "I can't sleep without you."

"You survived three months." I mumbled. I was trying to let things go, to start brand new, to give us a chance now. Let go of all the mistakes that were made, but it was easy to forgive him, nearly impossible to forget.

"Barely." He whispered and kicked his feet up and I held tight to my mug full of green tea.

"You survived every summer for the past few years, too." I mumbled under my breath "Every off season."

"What?" Matt looked over at me. I nodded to him as he sighed "Cori..."

"No, it's ok. I'm sorry, I shouldn't keep bringing that up." I sighed and shook my head, turning the TV onto the local news.

"I'm sorry. How many times do I have to tell you that I made a huge mistake in leaving you?" He asked, taking the remote from me and turning the TV off.

I glared at him a little "You've said it enough. I forgive you." I took a deep breath and turned the TV back on.

Matt turned it off again "Then why do you keep holding it over my head?"

"Because." I paused as he threw the remote across the room, letting it crash into the wall. I huffed "That was so childish, Matthew." I stood up, left my mug on the coffee table, and stepped over his legs that were across the space between the coffee table and couch.

He lifted his leg and almost tripped me "Because why?" He asked, looking up at me.

"It's easy to forgive. Not to forget." I mumbled and nudged his leg back down and walked upstairs.

"Corinne Marie Gavern!" Matt shouted.

I stopped "Matthew Charles Sanders." I mocked as he turned me around "Yah? What? I'm used to guys touching me, I'm far from scared. Of you, especially." I crossed my arms, setting my jaw.

"I wouldn't." He huffed.

"Really?" I asked "Because I didn't think you would last time, either."

"Will you let that go, too?" He groaned "I thought you-"

"I never said I forgave you for that, Matt."

He stared down at me with wide eyes "Thanks, Cori... thanks." He shook his head "I can't believe you. I love you, I'm sorry, every single day, for leaving you and hurting you. Ok? What more can I do to show you that?"

I groaned loudly and looked up at him "I don't know!"

"Well, know soon. Because this is getting rediculous, Corinne. I'm tired of chasing you, I'm getting so damn tired of this. Right here, right infront of you," He gestured to himself "You have it. The guy who wants to be there for you every day. The guy that, if I'm not mistaken, every girl dreams of. But you're pushing me away, Corinne... again. I'm tired of pulling you back." He brushed past me and walked up the stairs to his room.

Tears spilled over my eyes as I slid down the wall, he was right. I was just pushing him away further and further. I needed to let it all go, trust him. I hit my head against the wall lightly a few times, I was so stupid. SO stubborn.

"Rin, what's wrong?"

I looked up as Zack knelt down next to me "I fucked everything up. Valentines Day, my chance with Matt-"

"You could never fuck that up." He laughed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I nodded "I managed to do it."

"Corinne.." He sighed.

"How bad am I pushing him? Like... how far is he now?" I asked, wiping my eyes.

"Not so far that if you wanted to pull him back you couldn't." He shrugged "You just gotta trust him, Rin. It hurts him that he hurt you like that, and that he let you leave and get hurt by someone else."

I groaned "Everything's fucked now... I should just go back to-"

"No." Zack glared at me "Don't even think about that, Rin."

"I'd stop hurting Matt. He could find someone to stop making his life hell, because-"

"It's not hell." Zack helped me up "You just gotta learn to stop making distance. Let him in, talk to him. Let it all go, Rin, you can't hold onto this shit forever."

I nodded "Do you think he'll forgive me?"

"Well yah, he loves you. Duh.... go to sleep." He pointed up the stairs "I'm going back to bed."

I shook my head "Go to sleep, I'm gunna finish watching my news... if the clicker works." I laughed as he gave me a hug and walked upstairs.

I was gunna stop fucking with my life, and I was gunna let it all go. I had to, or I was about to lose Matt, again, forever. That's the last thing I wanted, was to be what pushed him into someone elses arms...