Sequel: You're Not Alone. ›
Status: Finished.
Looking for a Lifeline
27
*Matt's POV*
"Corinne you don't have to do this, stop it right now!" Jimmy shouted as we all watched in horror as she stood at the other end of the room. The gun was pressed heavily against her skull, with every flinch of her drunken body my heart jumped into my throat. I didn't want to lose her, not ever and sure not now because I was an asshole.
"I love you, Matt." She stared at me, her eyes empty.
It was like a clock stopping. The guys hugged each girl to them, covering their eyes as Corinne pulled the trigger. Hanna screamed loud, sobs were soon following the bang. I watched as her skull split, the bullet penetrating through it. Her hand fell, as if in slow motion. The gun dropped noiselessly as her body fell forward onto the bed, blood soaking through the sheets.
It was mass chaos. The guys were crying, holding inconsolable second halves. My arms were limp at my sides, there was... brain splattered on the floor, walls, and bed. Corinne lay motionless on the once crisp white sheets, now stained a dark evil red color. Her face was flat against the mattress.
"Rin!" Jimmy shouted and ran over, leaving Leana in Jackie's arms as the two cried together. He wrapped his arms around her, something I should be doing. He pulled her close, letting the matter from inside her skull mess with blood on his shirt.
I felt a sting on my cheek and looked to the side, Hanna glared up at me "This..."
"Hanna, no." Zack pulled her back "Don't." He glared up at me with a sad hatred in his eyes. Almost sympathetic look mixed with an indescribable anger.
I gulped down the lump in my throat and pried my shoes from the carpet, moving over to Jimmy's side. Without a word I took Corinne's lifeless body from his arms, silent tears falling down my face as I looked at her own bloodied face. One whole side of her skull was practically missing. I closed my eyes and kissed her lips, tasting her own blood dripping from them "Corinne I love you... I love you Corinne Marie Gavern." I kissed her face all over, not caring that her fucking brains were spilling. I loved her, and loving someone meant loving everything about them.
That being said, I would prefer her alive.
I burried my face in what was left of her hair, it was smothered in blood, as was the entire room. Covered. As if someone had taken a thirty-two gallon bag of red paint and blown it up with dynamite on the left half of the room. I took deep breaths, regulating my sob hacked breathing. Her hair smelt of vanilla, alcohol, and lemons. I took deep breaths, I would never in a millions years forget that smell. That smell mixing with her green eyes as she would smile at me.
"Matt..."
That smell when she'd look up at me, when she'd tell me she loved me.
"Matt!"
I looked over as Zack stood with a police officer. My chest was heaving up and down, my eyes were blurred from tears, and my hands were tight around Corinne's form. Her shell. I looked upwards and took a deep breath "I love you." I fucked it all up.
~*~*~
*Third Person POV*
"To honor the life of Corinne Gavern. All she wanted in life, was that one person to love. A lifeline. And she found it. Five, infact. More so with the girls who became almost a part of her family, she was like our sister. But more than that... She was like our mother." Jimmy looked down as tears spilled from his eyes.
"She'd yell at me for eating too much candy." Zack piped up.
The five men, and four women, stood behind Corinne's casket, dressed head to toe in black. Matt was staring at the floor as each guy gave a speech on exactly how they met Corinne, and what she meant to them. Stories were on the same lines, no one left out her smile, her laugh, and the way she would treat you like a child if you acted like one.
But when it came Matt's turn, he stared into the microphone as if it were an alien. Like he didn't speak and sing into them for a living. He cleared his throat, his throat that felt parched for four days since his one true love took her life becuase of him.
"My name is Matthew Sanders." He looked out over the crowd of her family, friends, and loved ones "I had the.... priviledge of knowing Corinne for most of my life, actually since grade school. She was one of the most amazing people to be around. Not just because of her looks, or her laugh, or the way she treated you." He took a breath, collecting his thoughts as his mind wrapped around the fact she was meer feet infront of him, breathless and cold inside of a box. Because of him.
"I loved her. I was supposed to be her lifeline, that one person who cared for her every waking moment for the rest of our lives. But I went and screwed everything up." He bit his lip, knowing that within the room full of mourners were her father and mother, her three blood related brothers, and multiple uncles who would give anything to hurt him for being the cause of their loss "If I had acted out my love for Corinne, and not been a blind fool, she'd be here with us. We wouldn't be crying over a lost life. Corinne didn't deserve to be hurt, she didn't deserve to be put through the hell I put her through year after year. But she stuck it out. That's love." He looked over the crowd "She was a lover, she's probably the only person I know who loved with everything she had. And when it wasn't returned, it broke her down. I didnt' deserve that kind of love. I don't. I didn't deserve someone who wanted me, who loved me. Because the things I did should have scared her off, should have made me lose the one person I truly do love."
"Matt..." Zack tugged at his arm.
Matt shook his head "I love her, I'll never stop. We all make mistakes, I made the biggest one by going behind her back too many times. I took advantage of her coming back, I took advantage of her love... And I don't deserve to be standing here right now, talking to you, breathing, I don't deserve my heart to be beating. Corinne deserves to be alive, to be happy, to be smiling." He licked his lips and took a deep breath again "The one thing I deserve, more than anything in life, and Corinne has given it to me, is the pain that I'll live with every day. Knowing it was my own damn fault that I lost her, that she took her life infront of so many people who loved her, who had never hurt her. I deserve every last bit of shame, pain, and every tear that comes with this. And for being the cause of your loss, I am truly and deeply regretfull..." He looked at the casket with teary eyes "I love you, Cori. You were and always will be, my lifeline." He whispered and walked off, not leaving a dry eye in the entire church.
"Corinne you don't have to do this, stop it right now!" Jimmy shouted as we all watched in horror as she stood at the other end of the room. The gun was pressed heavily against her skull, with every flinch of her drunken body my heart jumped into my throat. I didn't want to lose her, not ever and sure not now because I was an asshole.
"I love you, Matt." She stared at me, her eyes empty.
It was like a clock stopping. The guys hugged each girl to them, covering their eyes as Corinne pulled the trigger. Hanna screamed loud, sobs were soon following the bang. I watched as her skull split, the bullet penetrating through it. Her hand fell, as if in slow motion. The gun dropped noiselessly as her body fell forward onto the bed, blood soaking through the sheets.
It was mass chaos. The guys were crying, holding inconsolable second halves. My arms were limp at my sides, there was... brain splattered on the floor, walls, and bed. Corinne lay motionless on the once crisp white sheets, now stained a dark evil red color. Her face was flat against the mattress.
"Rin!" Jimmy shouted and ran over, leaving Leana in Jackie's arms as the two cried together. He wrapped his arms around her, something I should be doing. He pulled her close, letting the matter from inside her skull mess with blood on his shirt.
I felt a sting on my cheek and looked to the side, Hanna glared up at me "This..."
"Hanna, no." Zack pulled her back "Don't." He glared up at me with a sad hatred in his eyes. Almost sympathetic look mixed with an indescribable anger.
I gulped down the lump in my throat and pried my shoes from the carpet, moving over to Jimmy's side. Without a word I took Corinne's lifeless body from his arms, silent tears falling down my face as I looked at her own bloodied face. One whole side of her skull was practically missing. I closed my eyes and kissed her lips, tasting her own blood dripping from them "Corinne I love you... I love you Corinne Marie Gavern." I kissed her face all over, not caring that her fucking brains were spilling. I loved her, and loving someone meant loving everything about them.
That being said, I would prefer her alive.
I burried my face in what was left of her hair, it was smothered in blood, as was the entire room. Covered. As if someone had taken a thirty-two gallon bag of red paint and blown it up with dynamite on the left half of the room. I took deep breaths, regulating my sob hacked breathing. Her hair smelt of vanilla, alcohol, and lemons. I took deep breaths, I would never in a millions years forget that smell. That smell mixing with her green eyes as she would smile at me.
"Matt..."
That smell when she'd look up at me, when she'd tell me she loved me.
"Matt!"
I looked over as Zack stood with a police officer. My chest was heaving up and down, my eyes were blurred from tears, and my hands were tight around Corinne's form. Her shell. I looked upwards and took a deep breath "I love you." I fucked it all up.
~*~*~
*Third Person POV*
"To honor the life of Corinne Gavern. All she wanted in life, was that one person to love. A lifeline. And she found it. Five, infact. More so with the girls who became almost a part of her family, she was like our sister. But more than that... She was like our mother." Jimmy looked down as tears spilled from his eyes.
"She'd yell at me for eating too much candy." Zack piped up.
The five men, and four women, stood behind Corinne's casket, dressed head to toe in black. Matt was staring at the floor as each guy gave a speech on exactly how they met Corinne, and what she meant to them. Stories were on the same lines, no one left out her smile, her laugh, and the way she would treat you like a child if you acted like one.
But when it came Matt's turn, he stared into the microphone as if it were an alien. Like he didn't speak and sing into them for a living. He cleared his throat, his throat that felt parched for four days since his one true love took her life becuase of him.
"My name is Matthew Sanders." He looked out over the crowd of her family, friends, and loved ones "I had the.... priviledge of knowing Corinne for most of my life, actually since grade school. She was one of the most amazing people to be around. Not just because of her looks, or her laugh, or the way she treated you." He took a breath, collecting his thoughts as his mind wrapped around the fact she was meer feet infront of him, breathless and cold inside of a box. Because of him.
"I loved her. I was supposed to be her lifeline, that one person who cared for her every waking moment for the rest of our lives. But I went and screwed everything up." He bit his lip, knowing that within the room full of mourners were her father and mother, her three blood related brothers, and multiple uncles who would give anything to hurt him for being the cause of their loss "If I had acted out my love for Corinne, and not been a blind fool, she'd be here with us. We wouldn't be crying over a lost life. Corinne didn't deserve to be hurt, she didn't deserve to be put through the hell I put her through year after year. But she stuck it out. That's love." He looked over the crowd "She was a lover, she's probably the only person I know who loved with everything she had. And when it wasn't returned, it broke her down. I didnt' deserve that kind of love. I don't. I didn't deserve someone who wanted me, who loved me. Because the things I did should have scared her off, should have made me lose the one person I truly do love."
"Matt..." Zack tugged at his arm.
Matt shook his head "I love her, I'll never stop. We all make mistakes, I made the biggest one by going behind her back too many times. I took advantage of her coming back, I took advantage of her love... And I don't deserve to be standing here right now, talking to you, breathing, I don't deserve my heart to be beating. Corinne deserves to be alive, to be happy, to be smiling." He licked his lips and took a deep breath again "The one thing I deserve, more than anything in life, and Corinne has given it to me, is the pain that I'll live with every day. Knowing it was my own damn fault that I lost her, that she took her life infront of so many people who loved her, who had never hurt her. I deserve every last bit of shame, pain, and every tear that comes with this. And for being the cause of your loss, I am truly and deeply regretfull..." He looked at the casket with teary eyes "I love you, Cori. You were and always will be, my lifeline." He whispered and walked off, not leaving a dry eye in the entire church.
♠ ♠ ♠
The End.