Looking for a Lifeline

"I don't want to talk to you people." I huffed as Zack and Brian walked into my room, closing the door securely behind them "I go through enough shit without you being here."

"Shut up,Corinne." Zack rolled his eyes and flopped down on the bed, snickering as I cringed.

"Dick." I hissed as he blew me a kiss "You know... as long as I've known you guys, I really, really hate you. Y'know that?"

Brian smiled and sat next to me. "Yah, we love you too Corinne."

I was finally back at the house, I hadn't moved out, none of the guys would let me back out those doors again. Matt was.... well, pretty much MIA since I've been back, or I just haven't been out of my room when he was here. I couldn't walk, my leg was in a cast, I used crutches. My arm was still in a sling, my burns were healing nicely, and I had minor whiplash. I'm not sure if that was from the accident or the fact Jimmy almost snapped my head off in a hug when I got home.

"So? What do you want?" I asked, crossing my good arm over my chest, since the other one was already in that position.

"We want to know if you're gunna murder us in our sleep." Zack whispered "Because you look mad all the time."

"I'm just.." I paused "Pissed at Matt for being a douche bag, again. He won't talk about what happened, he just walked away from me. Like we had never even met before." I groaned "He's being an asshole."

"That he is." Brian sighed and rolled his neck, snapping it a few times "Listen, you know we'd do anything for you, you're like our little sister, right?"

I shrugged.

"Corinne?" Zacky warned.

"Ok, ok. Yah, I know." I rolled my eyes and huffed.

"But we know that once you can walk, and kick our asses," Brian snickered "You'll leave us.."

"Bet your balls." I smiled evilly "As soon as this godf forsaken cast is off, I'm outta this rockstar hell hole you guys still call home."

"Corinne you can't leave us." Zack whined, tugging at my arm "You're like.. like... our house mother, if we were a sorority."

"Which, you aren't. You're a bunch of overgrown frat boys, just down for the party." I flicked his nose "I get this cast off in two weeks, if you guys can show me beofre then, that you're worth me staying around, I will."

Brian smiled wide as Zack jumped up and ran around the room screaming "We can." Brian nodded.

"Do you understand who you're talking to though?"

I turned to the door and saw Jimmy standing there, he must have heard everything "What?" Zack asked.

"Corinne Marie Gavern, dumped the highschool quarter back because she was bored." He smirked and sat down across the room in a lounge chair "Hung out with Alicia Peterson, and stabbed her so hard in the back, everyone says she has a scar. Alicia was a tough bitch, too. Corinne Gavern, on the other hand, reels you in with her sincere smile, bright kind eyes, welcoming arms. But bites your head off with those teeth, makes you see death in the form of a glare, and strangles the life out of you with those arms."

"Ok.... someone watches too many horror flicks." Zack laughed.

"It'll be hard to show her you're worth anything, guys. We all know Corinne, how she is... I mean Owen Packerd was never the same after she dumped him for his older brother." Jimmy smiled at me.

"Yah... The Packerd boys were too easy, though." I laughed "You make me out to be such a badass. Thank you, Jim."

He bowed "But really, Rin, what are you talking about? Even if we did give you a good enough reason, you wouldn't stay. You know you'd leave anyways." He shrugged "Why even lie?"

I bit my lip, was my best friend tearing me down, seriousyl? "Becuase, sometimes lying hides the truth, that can hurt even more than the initial lie. Or... a broken leg." I Poked my cast.

"Ok... so... we pretty much don't stand a chance." Brian groaned "CORINNE!"

"BRIAN!" I mocked "I'm leaving, I'm finally had enough of all you guys' childish antics. I'm tired of being strung on summer after summer after summer. I'm gunna settle down somewhere, start a life. Find a faithfull guy who'll explain our problems to me, not just walk away and hide."a

"Who's hiding?" Johnny stuck his head in the door.

"Matt." All three boys chorused.

I chucked a pillow at each of their heads "And Corinne's leaving us."

"NO!" Johnny shouted, launching himself onto me "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THESE CRAZY BASTARDS!" He shotued.

I giggled and pushed him to a standing position "Either I leave and keep what sanity I have, or I stay and become a complete insane fool."

"I vote fool." Johnny raised his hand "Becuase a foolish Corinne, is better than none at all."

"I'm honored, Johnny, truly honored." I pretended to gag "Now... can you guys leave me to what sanity I have left? I'd like to make my getaway plans, and have them make sense."

With hufs and protests, everyone left... minus Brian.

"Uhmm... everyone includes you." I pointed at him.

He smiled and walked over to the end of my bed, resting his hands on the footboard "He's breaking up with her."

"Who's what?" I asked, squinting at his sudden comment.

"Matt. He's breaking up with Val... because he wants to keep you around." He sighed, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck "He uhm... He wanted to tell you but you kinda..."

I smirked as he looked around "Kinda?" I smiled.

"Threw a telephone at him." He said in disbelief "But he's breaking up with her today and he's probably gunna want to talk to you.."

"Then let him, what can I do?" I smiled evilly as Brian threw his hands in the air.

"What exactly do you want from him, Corinne? He's breaking up with her, probably breaking her in two, and you're being like this? Acting liek you don't want him now? What... what is this? Are you playing him?" He asked.

"No." I shook my head.

"Then what are you doing? WHy do you want him so badly, but you won't even accept the fact he might want to talk?"

"Because!" I shouted "I wanted him to talkto me before he made that decision to break up with her! I'm leaving, and even if they're not together anymore, it's not keeping me around .They'll be back together again, do you know how many times I've heard "I love you Corinne, I'll beak up with her when we get off tour, I promise."? DO YOU KNOW!?" I shouted, tears stinging my eyes "And do you know how many promises he's broken over the past few years, Brian? more than I can count on my fingers, toes, and hairs on my head! It's always been the same old BULLSHIT! And I'm not taking another chance... yes, fuck yes, I love him to pieces, yes I want him, yes I love him, I said that...." I shook my head "I'd stay, if he hadn't already broken my trust so many times, I'd trust him again."

"So he's doing this for nothing?" Brian asked.

"Yes." I set my jaw "Absolutely nothing, because that's all I'll ever be to him."

"That's so not true, Rin..." Brian shook his head "I wih you could see what we see... They're... they're not perfect. The way he looks at you? Even when she's in the room? You can practically see his heart on his sleeve! And you're going to leave him like this?"

I shrugged "Yah, because he's left me so many times."

"You're a selfish bitch." Brian shook his head "But.... we'll always be here for you, because we love you." He gave me a small smile before he walked out.

That went so much worse than I'd expected... What was I doing?