If You Only Knew

Alyssa's POV

It was everything that I expected it to be. It was exactly the way I pictured it. Music was pounding from giant speakers somewhere in the house. It felt as if the entire house was shaking from the base of the speakers. The air was hot humid, sweaty and musty. Bodies were molded together with no space in between. A person had to squeeze past people just to take five steps. You could smell the alcohol in the air. Teenagers were everywhere. Some already passed out on the front lawn others busy on the dance floor while some were getting it on upstairs.

Either way I didn't care. Teenage parties were not something new to me. Believe it or not, I knew what was going in at a party like the back of my hand. No matter where the party was or who was throwing it, they were always the same. I loved being at parties. The drunken actions of people, flirting with guys you don't know, dancing with guys you don't know, it all invited me. No matter how upset I was about something, a party could always cheer me up. That and music that is.

The only sad thing about this party was what I did. You see as soon as me and Jake got here, I left him. I knew that no matter where I went he was going to be somewhere close by, but that didn't make it any better for me. I had gone off to go find Trey and/or Eric. Even after I found them all I could think about was Jake. It wasn't like I wanted to leave Jake, okay I did but i regretted it while I was doing it. I didn't want him to see me, in the "zone" as I call it. Honestly, I was scared of what he might think about me if he saw me. He would probably think that I turned into a slut, or a whore and not want to talk to me again. This was my worst nightmare.

So what did I do to try and forget about Jake, I drank. And drank, and drank and drank some more. It was the only thing that I could think of that would get rid of the horrible feeling that was in the pit of my stomach. Was it a smart idea, no, but did I do it, yeah.

I stood there giggling with a red plastic cup in my hands. I was giggling and talking to some guy who's name I couldn't remember. I don't think I would have remembered even if I wasn't drunk. All I knew was that he was amazingly hot.

I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist from behind. I turned around to find Trey standing there with a smirk plastered on his face. "You wanna dance" he slurred. I giggled like a school girl once again and nodded my head. He grabbed my cup out of my hand and drank what was left of drink. I only giggled again as he smirked down at me. He threw the cup somewhere the pulled onto the dance floor. Luckily, it was my left hand that he grabbed but I didn't care. I was to drunk to care about anything.

He pulled me over to the dance floor as Rude boy by Rhianna started to boom out of the speakers. Now I was drunk, but I wasn't wasted. I knew what to do that would turn a guy on and what would make you look a hot mess. Even if I was wasted, I would still know what to do. The problem would be when to stop.

He put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to him. I smirked and started to grind my ass on him. I could feel his hard-on as we danced which only made me smirk some more. This guy was way to easy to get to. We continued to dance to the beat along with everyone else.

That is until some guy pulled me off of Trey and put me in the middle of a sandwich with him and his friend. The guy who pulled me over was in the back, and his friend was in the front. Honestly, I was to drunk to notice if they were cute enough to sandwich with. At this point, I didn't really care either.And this wasn't my first time in a sandwich either. Trey was too drunk to actually respond about the guy pulling me away from him.

I threw my head back and laughed while I danced. The guy behind me was not only drunk, but hard as well. Their friends were cheering them on as we danced. This only made me laugh more and dance harder. What can I say, I'm an entertainer.

The guy behind me started to slide his hands up and down my sides. I was too drunk and having too much fun to care or to say anything to him. He lowered his head to my neck and began to give it very drunk sloppy kisses. I giggled and continued to dance. I didn't care that everyone was watching us out of the corner of there eyes. I didn't care that his friends were cheering him on for what was going on. None of it mattered to me. Like I said before, I was too drunk and having too much fun to care.

That is until I saw him.

My eyes landed on his muscular figure across the room. He looked angry and I could tell even from across the room, that he was shaking slightly. His fist were tightly clenched and he was glaring at both of the guys that I was currently dancing with.

I instantly wished that I wasn't in the position that I was in right now. I wished that I was standing next to him or that I was in his arms. I wished that I was over there to calm him down, but I wasn't. Instead I was dancing with two random strangers. I was the reason for him being mad. He turned on his heel and made his way towards the door.

I bit my bottom lip and stopped dancing, as I stared at him. I sighed and pushed the guy in front of me off. He stumbled forward and looked around not really understanding what was going on. I started to head in the direction that Jake had gone, when someone grabbed my waist, stopping me. I quickly spun around only to meet the eyes of the guy that pulled me away from Trey....I'll call him green eyes for now.It's all I can think of on a short notice. Though his eyes were green, they were also slightly red from all of his drinking.

"Come-on baby we weren't done yet" he slurred pulling me closer to him.

I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away a little. Of course, this aggravated my wrist but I tried to ignore it. It wasn't my main concern right now. My main concern was getting away from green eyes and then finding Jake. I wasn't in much of a party mood.

"I'm not your baby. And I really need to go"

He only laughed and tightened his grip around my waist. "But we were having such a good time, and you wouldn't want to ruin that now would you?" he slurred with a smirk. He pulled me even closer to him, his smirk never leaving his face. "Now why don't you come over here and do what you and I both know you want to do"

I glared at him and clenched my jaw. I smacked his hands down from my sides with as much force as I could muster up, being drunk that is. Pain shot threw my entire right arm, causing me to wince slightly from the pain. I took a deep breath and shrugged it off. I would deal with the pain after I found Jake.

"What I want to do is get the hell away from you're pigheaded ass" I insulted as I shot him the coldest glare that I could. I turned on my heel and started to walk away, only to have someone grab my bad wrist causing me to stop.

Whoever it was was squeezing my wrist terribly hard, as if they were trying to hurt me. I shut my eyes tightly and bit my bottom lip. The pain that was shooting through my arm was too much to handle. Everything else that I had experienced would simply be a quick shot of pain, but it was tolerable. But this was to much. The amount of pressure that was on my injury was to much to bare.

The person forced me to turn around and look at him. Of course, it was none other than green eyes. "You'll leave when I tell you to leave which will be when I'm done with you" he angrily slurred.

Tears were starting to sting the rims of my eyes. The pain was starting to get to me. I sniffed and tried to hold back my tears. But I have a tendency to be emotionally when I'm drunk, so of course, the tears managed to escape my eyes and slide down my cheeks. Luckily, they remained silent.

"And maybe I should teach you some manners while I'm at it" he added with a smirk.

Suddenly, a tan hand grabbed green eyes wrist causing him to let go of mine. I immediately pulled my wrist to me, held it with my other hand and shut my eyes, thankful for whoever had saved me. I blinked back a few of my tears before looking at the scene that was unfolding before me.

Green eyes let out a loud painful groan that could be heard over the music. The music stopped as gray eyes dropped to his knees. You could see on green eyes face that he was clearly in an enormous amount of pain. His face was actually starting to turn red. Everyone was watching the scene with wide eyes, wondering what was going on or waiting for a fight to brake out.

"Or maybe I should teach you some manners" Jake growled at green eyes.

He was shaking more violently than he was before. Everyone could see the anger that was on his face. The glare that he was sending green eyes was full of more hate than any glare that I have seen or sent someone before. You could see in Jake's eyes that he wanted to rip green eyes to shreds, and from the look that he was giving him, he just might do it.

"Jake" I managed to choke out. My eyes were now closed, as I tried to keep anymore tears from flowing down my cheeks. "Can you just take me home now....please" I mumbled. I turned on my heel and started walking towards the door. I didn't wait to find out if Jake was following me or not, something told me that he would follow me anyway.

I heard a loud grunt followed my a thud from behind me. I still didn't look back, I wasn't in the mood to see whether Jake had actually followed me, or stayed behind to kick green eyes ass.Not that I would have mind if he did, I just wasn't in the mood right now.

I stepped outside and carefully stepped off the front porch. I sniffed as I walked down the path from the front step. I don't know why I was so emotional, oh yeah, I was DRUNK!

"Alyssa!" I heard Jake call from behind me. I still didn't stop. The combination of being drunk and being in pain was starting to get to me. All I wanted to for Jake to take me home. All I wanted to do was to go home and be with Jake.

Jake ran in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders, stopping me from walking any further. That's when I broke down.

I loudly sobbed and buried my face into Jake's chest as I continued to hold my wrist. I wasn't sad, I wasn't upset at all but for some reason I was crying. No, I wasn't crying, I was bawling my eyes out. Tears were now flowing heavily and freely down my face. Jake wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. He buried his face into my hair and quieted me.

I soon stopped sobbing and simply stood there in his arms. As usual, this was were I was most comfortable, in his arms. No matter how upset(or drunk) I was Jake could always make me feel better, just by holding me.

-x-

The ride back to my house was silent. It was a comfortable silence but silent none the less. Neither one of us said anything during the entire ride, why I don't know, but we didn't.

What did I do the entire ride back to my house, cuddle up next to Jake. He had one hand on the wheel and the other around my shoulders. I was laying against his chest still holding my wrist, (which was now throbbing) with my jacket in my lap. Jake said that he would take me to go see Carslie in the morning about my wrist.

The entire ride was simply comfortable and quiet. I think that Jake thought I was a sleep or something since I wasn't talking but I wasn't. Once in a while I would begin to doze off, but I was still awake. Once in a while, out of the corner of my eye, I would see Jake sneak a peak at me. He would always look away when I tried to look up at him. No matter how many times he did this, it always made me smile.

Eventually we pulled up to me house, and I had to sit up. The first thing I noticed was that my dad's truck wasn't in the driveway. I really hoped that he hadn't found out that I snuck out and had gone looking for me. No, he couldn't have he would have called me first.

"You're awake" Jacob said while cutting the engine off.

"I was never asleep" I plainly responded while opening the door. I grabbed my jacket, stepped out of his car and looked around. I was wondering if my dad had gone out and parked his car in a different spot when he came back but I didn't see it. It might have been parked somewhere else but the darkness wasn't helping my task either.

I shrugged it off and tried walking up the path to my door only to lose my balance and fall backwards into Jake's arms.

"Maybe you could use a little help" he suggested while smiling down at me. I simply nodded my head, being dumbfounded by his smile. He chuckled before picking me up bridal style in one swift motion. It made my head spin a little but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle. Jacob carried me over to the front door before setting me back down on my feet. He opened his mouth to speak but I turned the door knob opening the door before he could speak.

I wasn't actually expecting the door to be open. "Dad!" I yelled into the house. I know that I snuck out, so announcing that I was back was not smart, but I couldn't control my actions anymore.

I didn't get a response, letting me know that the house was empty. I sighed plopped myself down on the couch. I looked at Jake who was standing in the doorway with his hands in his pocket. He had a blank stare on his face, as if he was thinking about something.

Somehow I knew it was about tonight. I knew that it had something to do with me, maybe not the situation with green eyes, but it had something to do with tonight.

"Jake" I said grabbing his attention. He turned his head to look at me with raised eyebrows.

I couldn't control the smile that made it's way onto my lips. Him doing something as simple as looking at me, made my heart flutter. I held my arms out in front of me. "Carry me upstairs?" I questioned using my puppy dog eyes.

He smiled and shook his head. "You're so lazy" he mumbled.

He closed the door before walking over to me. I smiled as he picked me up bridal style once again. I giggled as he rolled his eyes with a smile still on his face. Something about being around Jake just made me happy.

He carried me up to my room and surprisingly my bedroom door was open. I didn't pay it any attention though. Jake set me down on the bed. "Alright you should probably get some rest" he replied. I could still see by the look on his face that he still wasn't here entirely. He was still thinking about whatever he was thinking about downstairs.

I sighed and started to take my shoes of using my good hand. "What are you thinking about so hard Jake?"

"What?" he questioned.

"You're thinking about something. I may be a little drunk but I can still see that something is bothering you" I spoke as I struggled to take my heel off. Jake walked over, got on one knee and carefully picked up my ankle.

He sighed as he started to take my heel off. He kept his eyes either on my shoe or on the floor, but never on me. "I was just thinking.......none of this........would have happened......" he slid my heel off my foot and set it down on the floor. He started to take off my other heel, still not making eye contact with me. "If I didn't take you to the party" he mumbled.

When he finally took off my heel I placed my index finger under his chin, and brought his face up so that he was looking at me. His deep brown eyes were filled with sorrow and fault. He thought that this was all his fault. That everything that happened tonight was his fault.

"None of this was your fault Jake" I said slightly above a whisper. I placed my hands on his warm cheeks and smiled. "I shouldn't have asked you to take me, it was selfish of me"

He opened his mouth to speak but I placed my finger on his soft warm lips. "It doesn't matter now anyway. What happened, happened and we can't change that. Please don't blame yourself for this Jake"

He closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them and locked his deep brown eyes with mine. A smile slowly made it's way onto his face. He nodded his head signaling that he wouldn't blame himself. He placed his hands on-top of mine and moved them from his face and down to my lap.

He stood up and I followed suit. I noticed exactly how much shorter than him I was now that I wasn't wearing my heels. He stood a good foot taller than me, so I was definitely looking up at him. He slowly licked his soft pink lips as he stared down at me. "I should probably get going. Now that your safe and all" he said as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. Honestly, he looked really adorable when he was nervous.

***

JACOB'S POV

It was torture. Being at the party and watching her dance and flirt with other guys. Being at the party and watching her in-between two guys dancing, it was all torture. I was glad when she was finally ready to leave.I was extremely pissed about the reasons why she wanted to leave though

But somehow being with her right now, made it all worth wild. Standing here staring into her amazing deep brown eyes, made everything worth wild. Hearing her tell me that it wasn't my fault, made it all worth wild. Having her hold me or just be near me made it all worth wild.

I couldn't believe that just a few days ago, I wanted nothing to do with this girl. I couldn't believe that I was going to leave her alone simply because I didn't like the idea of imprinting on her. The fact that I hated the idea of not being able to imprint on................................................................................................................................................Bella.

Now, I don't like the idea of not imprinting on her. I don't like the idea of not being around her, correction, I hate the idea of not being around her.

I honestly didn't want to leave. I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let her go. I wanted to stay with her all night, even if it meant just holding her close through the night. I didn't care. I just wanted to be with her.

But I knew that I couldn't stay. I knew that it wouldn't be right to stay, without knowing how she felt about it. As much as I wanted to stay, I couldn't.

"Oh Jake can you help me with one last thing before you go?" she questioned. My heart sank a little hearing that she wanted me to go, but I knew that I would have to. I tried not to show my disappointment as I smiled down at her.

"Sure Lys, anything" I replied, meaning every-word that I said.

She shuffled her feet a little as she looked down at them,only making her look more adorable."Well........." she began. She looked up at me and locked her brown eyes with mine. "You see with my wrist being...hurt and all, I really need you too......could you....." she sighed and lifted her hair up into a high pony tail. She turned around so that her back was facing me.

"I need you to un-hook my shirt"

My eyes went wide and I gulped. She couldn't be serious, she couldn't actually want to put me in that kind of position. Then again, a drunk man/woman tells no lies. I inwardly groaned. As if she couldn't find anyway for me to want her more, she did.

"I mean you don't have to if you don't want to I can--"

"No I'll do it, I want to" I interrupted, until I replayed what I had just said. "No, I don't want to, I mean I want to but I don't want to. I mean I want to but I don't....ugh" I groaned. I wasn't getting anywhere right now. All I was doing was rambling.

She simply giggled and shook her head. "I get it Jake, just undo the hook. If you want to help me like you were trying to say"

"Right" I nodded even though she couldn't see me. I licked my lips and took a deep breath. All I had to do was unhook her strap. All I had to do was unhook it and ignore the "party" that was going on in my pants. I needed to stick to my original plan of leaving.

I walked closer to her and placed my hands on the straps. I felt her tense up as my hands came in contact with her soft skin. I licked my lips and un-hooked the straps to her shirt. The tips of my fingers grazed her soft skin as I separated the straps. I was losing to the party. I took another step forward and slowly trailed my finger tips down her back. Her caramel skin was so warm and soft that I couldn't resist. She was still tense, but she wasn't saying anything that was telling me to stop. My hormones took this as permission to continue.

What I did next, I would have never expected myself to do. Not only that but it wasn't apart of my original plan.

I placed my hands on her waist and pulled her closer to me, so that her back was against my chest. I slowly licked my lips before closing my eyes and placing a gentle kiss on her neck. She instantly relaxed as I placed another kiss on her neck, followed my another, and another. She sighed and let her hair down causing me to smirk against her skin. She must have been enjoying this as much as I was.

"Jake" she said. As much as I didn't want to I stopped maybe she wasn't enjoying this as much as I thought.

She turned around to face me and stared into my eyes. Before I could say anything, she wrapped her arms around my neck, stood on her tip-toes and crashed her lips into mine. I was taken back by her kissing me, but it didn't take long for me to kiss back.

The kiss was indescribable and full of passion. I could literally hear fireworks and bells going off in my head. Her lips were just as soft and inviting as I hoped they were. I snaked my hands around her waist and held her close to me as out lips moved perfectly in sync. It was as if her lips were molded for mine and mine alone.

I slightly parted my lips and trailed my tongue across her bottom lips begging for permission. She slightly parted her lips, granting me access. I slid my tongue into her mouth causing a slight moan to escape her lips. As our tongue's battled for dominance.

She unwrapped her hands from my neck and grabbed the collar of my shirt. She started to back up, pulling me with her.Not that I mind. She slowly started to lay down on the bed, bringing me with her until i was hovering over top of her, never braking the kiss.Again, not that I mind.

My hands slowly slid up her shirt until I took it off completely, revealing her strapless black bra. She started to run her fingers through my hair causing a moan to escape my lips. She smirked into the kiss as she began to slowly trail her hands down my chest. She started to tug at the bottom of my shirt, giving me a hint. I broke the kiss long enough for me to take my shirt off before crashing my lips into hers once more.

Everything that I had said about it being worth wild was wrong. This, make-out with her, made every thing worth wild. I couldn't focus on anything but her.

She placed her hands on my abs and smiled into the kiss as it became more heated. I trailed away from her lips and kissed along her jaw line before lowering myself to her neck. She moaned as I reached her collar bone. I smirked and started to suck and bite on that spot.

"Jacob" she moaned. Hearing her moan my name only made me want her more.

I growled as I brought my lips back up to meet hers. I put my hands on the hem of her skirt and slowly started to slide it off, until she was no longer wearing it. She slid her hands down to my pants beforeforcefully taking them off her self.Damn, for a person who is supposed to be in pain, she's pretty demanding. That's a plus. We were both down to nothing but our underwear and neither of us minded.

Until I realized what we were doing. It wasn't that I didn't want her, I wanted her more than ever. I wanted her and only her, but not like this. I didn't want her when she was drunk and possibly wouldn't remember it in the morning. I wanted her completely sober and willing. I still didn't know how she felt about me. Sure she's my imprint so she may feel something towards me, but I don't know what that is. Besides, she would probably be mad at me for sleeping with her when she was drunk and I was sober. As much as I want to make love to her and be with her right now, I can't. I just can't.

I broke the kiss and pushed myself up, so that I was hovering over her. She furrowed her brows together and propped herself up on her elbows and gave me a confused look.

"Is something wrong?" she questioned.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Yes well not with you"

She giggled and smiled at me. "Well then get back down here and prove it to me"

I groaned as I scanned her over. Why couldn't she have said something like that when she was sober? Why did I have to know that it was wrong to take advantage of her? I scanned her half naked body over once more. She was making this extremely difficult for me.

"Fine" she said with a smirk. "Then I'll come up there" she gently placed her lips on mine before I could object. I inwardly groaned and kissed back. The kiss was just to amazing to say no to. This girl could get me to do anything, just by kissing me. Why me, why me?

Suddenly the sound of a car door caused us to jump apart. "Damn, he's back" she muttered under her breath.

I was thankful for the interruption yet upset all at the same time. I got off the bed and quickly slid my shorts on. I grabbed my shirt and headed towards the window.

"Wait" she called causing me to stop. She walked over to me and placed one more gentle passionate kiss on my lips. I instantly wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me. She pulled back and smiled.

"Come-back tomorrow?" she asked with her puppy dog eyes.

Even with out the eyes there was no way that I could say no to her. Besides, I get the feeling that I'm going to have some explaining to do to her tomorrow. I nodded and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Good now go before my dad catches you and you don't get to see tomorrow"