If You Only Knew

Alyssa's POV

The sound of a wolf howling caused me eyes to shoot open. The howl was painful, but not the injured kind of howling, the pained sort of howl. The type of howl that is full of sorrow.

I didn’t analyze the howl long because it made my head feel worse than it already did.

I woke up with a pounding head ache. It felt like I had run into a wall and then it fell on me, like in one of the old cartoons. I groaned and rolled over in my bed. I didn't remember drinking a lot so I must have drank something that was really strong. I can never do something simple, like drink regular beer; no I had to drink tornadoes and drinks with everything mixed into it.

I groaned and sat up in my bed. Luckily, my head was only pounding, so the room wasn't spinning, and she wasn't dizzy. Not only that, but my wrist was swollen. It was red but didn’t feel as bad as it looked. How did my wrist get like this? I couldn't remember anything from last night after Jacob took me home.

I sighed and laid back in my bed at his name. Jacob Black. He has to be the most confusinghot guy that I have ever met. And I've met a lot.

There was a knock at my bedroom door that sounded like it was amplified by speakers at a metal concert. I groaned and pulled my covers over my head. Everything was way too loud.

"I take it that you're awake" My dad said with a chuckle.

"And in pain" I muttered under my breath. I didn’t need my dad asking me why I was in pain. It would only make the fact that I didn’t remember how it happened worse.

I uncovered my face and saw my dad leaning in the doorway. He had a smile on his face as he shook his head back and forth. I raised my eyebrow as I stared at him. I didn’t understand what was so funny. I was laying here in pain and he was standing there smiling.

He looked up at me and smiled at my confused look. He walked over to me and placed his hands in his pockets. “So did you have fun on your little outing last night?” he asked.

My eyes went wide as I stared at him. He knew about the party last night. But he couldn't’t, he just couldn't’t. He would have stopped me if he knew that I was going to a party. I told him that I was going to sleep early. There was no way that he could know. “W-What are you talking about dad?” I stammered.

He shook his head and knelt down, so that he was looking at me eye to eye. “I’m talking about you and Jacob Black’s little outing last night. Don’t tell me that you didn’t go anywhere because I saw you two getting into his car last night. I know that you went out but I don’t know where you went, so where did you go?” he explained.

I sighed and ran my hands through my messy hair. So I really did get caught last night. My dad knew where I was last night, well part of it. He knew that I was out with Jake but he didn’t know where we went. I guess I don’t have to worry about him following me to the party.

Explaining what happened last night would be a problem though. I didn’t remember anything from last night. There was no way that I could explain what had happen.Not that I planned on telling him where I went anyway.

“Well….if you really knew that I was sneaking out….then why didn’t you stop me?” I questioned. I was trying to distract him so that he would forget about asking me where I went. I still hadn't’t come up with what I was going to tell him.

He smirked and shook his head. “I had a feeling that Jacob would take care of you. Now if it was Embry and Quil…..not so much.”

I couldn't’t help but laugh at him. He would trust me with Jake but not Quil and Embry; I had hung out with them more than I had Jake. Shouldn't’t it be reversed, since they’ve been around longer?

“So where did you go?” he asked again.

Simply smiled and covered my head with the covers again. “I have no idea what you’re talking about” I replied from under the covers. The truth was that I still didn’t know what to tell him about last night. I knew that no matter what I wouldn’t be able to tell him the truth even if I wanted too.

“That’s fine with me” he replied. It caused me to furrow my brows. That was it; all I had to do was pretend like nothing happened. If I played dumb, then he would leave it alone. This was almost too easy.

I lifted my head from under the covers. I suspiciously eyed my dad. He was up to something, he had to be. No parent would let their child get away with sneaking out late at night.

My dad chuckled and ruffled my hair before standing up. He walked out of my room and closed the door behind him. I sat up in my bed confused. Did I really just get away with sneaking out last night? If so, then I need to come and visit my dad more often.

My door opened slightly and my dad stuck his head in. He sent a smile my way. Why is he so happy all of a sudden? “Sorry I forgot something” he said “You’re grounded” he closed the door once he was done speaking.

I couldn't’t help but roll my eyes. I knew that this wouldn’t be it. My dad may be cool and not as strict as my mother, but there was no way that he would let me get away with sneaking out.

I sighed and laid down on my bed. If I had cabin fever before, I knew that I was going to have it now. I wasn’t allowed to leave the house, meaning that if I snuck out, I would be in even more trouble. Eventually, my dad would probably send me back with my mom.

This couldn't’t happen. He would be there if I went back home. He would be waiting for me, waiting to pounce on his prey like a lion to a gazelle.

I knew that if my dad knew the situation that he wouldn’t send me back home. But I couldn't’t tell my dad. How do you tell your father that you’re a telekinetic freak? Not only that but how do you tell him that a goon from a group of the most powerful vampires is after you, and that they want to make you one of them. How do you tell your father that you’re being hunted? How do you tell your father that you didn’t really want to come out and visit him, you’re just on the run from a vampire? What is the right way to tell your father that your life is in danger and there’s nothing that he can do about it?

There is no right way.

There is no way to tell any of your parents that. It only gives them the right to put you on lock down. It gives them the right to worry about you every second of the day. The officially have a reason to say that you can’t go somewhere because it’s not safe. Before they may have been saying that because they didn’t want you to go, but now they have an actual reason to keep you from going to said place. If it was up to me my mother wouldn’t even know about my current situation.

I can’t imagine what she’s going through right now. She’s probably worrying herself to death. She can’t call me to check in on me, because he could figure out where I am. It took forever for her to accept me being telekinetic, and now she has to accept not being able to help her daughter.

I sighed and turned over onto my side facing the window. My window was open and I could see the gray skies covering La Push. Normally it was cloudy, but today it was dark. I knew that a storm was coming but it didn’t bother me. I knew that one would be coming sooner or later.

Just like him. Eventually, I would have to face him. I would either have to take the deal, or keep running my entire life.

I sighed and closed my eyes. Could things get any more complicated?

-X-

I slowly crawled out of my bed. All I had done for most of the day was sleep. My head was hurting so much that it was draining all my energy. My dad knew that it was because of my outing with Jake but he didn’t know that it was actually because of the drinking I had done on that outing.

I slowly dragged myself down the stairs as I pulled my hair into a high ponytail. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, nor was I going anywhere. I was just going downstairs to get a snack before crashing again.

As I walked past my front door someone knocked. I groaned and stopped walking. Why do people pick the worst time to come over? I debated on whether I should answer the door or not and decided that I might as well. It probably wasn’t anyone except Quil and Embry.

I let out a frustrated groaned before walking over to the door. “You two better have a good reason for coming over” I said as I unlocked the door.

I quickly swung the door open ready to yell at Quil and Embry, but stopped at who was standing there instead.

Jake was standing on my front porch. As usual he was only wearing a pair of cut-off shorts and a pair of sneakers. My eyes couldn't’t help but travel all over his body, from his amazing biceps, to his toned chest to his amazing 8-pack. Do you have any idea how rare and 8-pack is? I quickly shook all of my thoughts about his body away before he could notice my ogling.

His hands were inside his pockets and he was standing there uncomfortably as he stared at the ground. He looked up and his amazing deep brown eyes locked with mine. Once again, I was frozen. I couldn't’t tear away from his gaze. “Can we talk?” he questioned. I could tell in his voice that he was unsure of what to say.

I bit my lip as I stared at him. I was on punishment, which meant that I wasn’t supposed to have guest over. Then again, this could be important. Besides, my dad was in the house, so he knew that someone was at the door. He could have easily answered it and avoided this situation. I nodded my head and moved over so that he could come inside.

Jake slowly walked inside and I closed the door behind him. I turned around to face him with my back against the door. “So…..” I began. “What do you want to talk about?”

Jake sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “It’s complicated”

“Trust me, nothing is more complicated than my life” I explained. Jake had no idea what I was going through. He has no idea how complicated my life is. I’m sure that anything he’s going through isn’t anywhere near as complicated as my life.

“If only that were true” he muttered under his breath. He took a deep breath and stared at me before I could question him. His face was completely serious yet frustrated.

I knew that whatever he had to tell me was going to be important.