If You Only Knew

Jacob’s POV

I practically broke the door down when I ran into the hospital. Leah, Paul and Embry were hot in my trial. I didn’t know where Collin and Emmet had gone, but at this point I didn’t.

The only thing that was on my mind was Alyssa. I had to see her, she had to be okay, I needed her to be okay. She was everything to me, I don’t know what I would do if something happened to her. I ran up to the reception desk with worry etched onto my face.

“I need to know which room Alyssa Jenkins is in,” I quickly spoke. I knew that concern was dripping from my voice, but I couldn’t help it.

“Um…she‘s in 315 but--”

I took off running before she could finish her sentence. I knew what she was going to say, that I couldn’t see her right now because of her condition/state. I didn’t care, I needed to see her, and I would.

I ran the entire way to her room. I needed to get to her as fast as I could. I finally reached her room and ran inside. I felt the air leave my body at the sight.

Alyssa lye there motionless, eyes closed and body still. Although, her chest was slowly moving up and down, her heart was going dangerously fast. The heart rate monitor was going dangerously fast and showed no sign of slowing down. Doctors and nurses were frantically running around the room. They were trying to figure out what was wrong with Alyssa.

Alyssa’s dad was holding her hand and staring at the heart rate monitor. Worry and concern was etched onto his face. The emotion that was clear the most, was fear. He looked as if he was scared for his life, and I couldn’t blame him. I felt the exact same way that he did, if not worse.

I quickly ran over to Alyssa’s side, moving a doctor out of the way in the process. I heard a doctor tell someone that no one else was allowed in the room, but I paid no attention to him.

I grabbed Alyssa’s right hand, and tried to focus on my breathing, but it was hard. The only thing that was on my mind was Alyssa. I wanted, no, needed her to be okay. My body was still numb and my felt as if it was about to be ripped out of my chest.

I started to trace small circles onto her hand with my thumb. “You’re gonna’ be fine Lys. You’re gonna’ make it Lys. Everything’s gonna’ be fine,” I whispered.

I was hoping that somehow, through all the chaos, she would hear me. I was hoping that she would hear me and know that everything was going to be okay. I was hoping that my talking to her would cause her heart rate to slow down.

Despite the fact that I was talking to Alyssa, I felt like I was speaking more to myself. I was comforting myself the most. I was telling myself that everything was going to be okay. I was trying to calm myself down, though I was having very little success.

Suddenly the heart monitor fell silent along with the rest of the room. The fast paced beeping that was once heard was now gone.

“Lys?” I quietly questioned, as I gave her hand a small squeeze.

I then noticed that Alyssa’s chest had stopped moving, confirming my worst fears.

As the nurses ran to get the defibrillator, I lost it. My heart felt as if it shattered into a million pieces. I couldn’t tell if it was still beating or not, I was in too much pain. My knees gave out, and I fell onto them. My head hit the side of the bed, but I didn’t care. I shut my eyes as tears began to flow freely down my face.

“No, no, no,” I muttered as I shook my head. I kept saying it over and over again. My voice started to crack from the tears, but I didn’t care.

I was void of all feeling but pain, and loneliness. I felt like everything was gone. My entire reason for living was gone. My entire world had just shattered around me. I felt as if I had no reason to live anymore.

The sound of the defibrillator charging up caused me to open my eyes. My vision was blurred from the tears that were still flowing down my face, I didn’t bother to stop them. How could I when I was so broken?

I happened to see the doctor rubbing the machine together through my blurred vision. He shouted clear and quickly started to lower the machine to her chest.

But before he could Alyssa’s eyes shot open and she made a loud gasp. The doctor quickly pulled back and started in amazement. My eyes went wide as my heart skipped a beat, she was alive, she was alive!

She jolted upright and started gasping for air. Fear was clearly present on her face. She managed to pull his hands from mine and her dads grasp and place it over her heart. She continued to breathe heavily for a while but once she calmed down she closed her eyes.

“Baby girl!” her dad shouted. He then pulled her into an extremely tight embrace.I was yearning to do the same. Alyssa, continued to hold her eyes shut as she hugged her dad.

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” he whispered. His voice was hoarse and low. If it wasn’t for my enhanced hearing I might not have heard it.

“I’m fine dad,” she reassured. My heart began to flutter from the sound of her voice. This was all too real.

She slowly pulled away from his embrace. “I’m a little shaken up, but I’m fine,” She then sent him a small smile to make it convincing, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t convincing because I noticed that the smile didn’t reach her eyes. She didn’t believe what she was saying, and I could tell.

But I ignored it for now. I was too overjoyed with her being alive. I couldn’t describe how happy I was. I was surprised that I hadn’t simply grabbed her face and kissed her with everything that I had.

Suddenly, Carslie stepped forward towards her. “Ms. Jenkins you gave us quite a scare there—”

“I know,” she interrupted with a nod of her head.

“Believe me, I know what’s going. Everything should be fine now though, you don’t have to run any tests or anything. Just trust me,”

I couldn’t help but to raise my brow at this. How could she know what was going on? Sure she knew everything that happened before she passed out, but how could she know what happened after that.

“Well we might have to run some just to be sure, okay,”

She simply nodded her head. She gave him the same smile that she had given her father a little while ago. She then sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath

“Do you guys mind leaving me and Jake alone for a second?” she questioned.

My eyes went wide once the words left her mouth. I honestly, didn’t think that she noticed that I was in the room. My heart continued to flutter and pound at the thought of her wanting to be with me. A small smile made its way onto my face.

“Sure,” Carslie nodded.

The nurses and the doctors slowly left the room. Her dad gave her one last hug before leaving the room. She sighed once more before looking at me.

Her deep brown eyes locked with mine, as I continued to smile. Staring into her eyes made me feel unstoppable. I was already over-joyed with the fact that she was still here, but it all became so real to me as I stared into her eyes. It was like the moment I first imprinted on her.

She slowly reached up and placed her hand on my cheek. Her thumb slowly brushed away one of the stray tears that was still on my face. A smile made its way onto her face as she continued to gaze at me. This time the smile reached her eyes. They seemed to light up as she smiled.

She slowly leaned forward and gave me a small kiss on the cheek. Her lips were soft and seemed to linger ever so slightly. She pulled back slightly, but was still inches away from my face.

“Stay with me,” she whispered. I thought I heard a slight pleading in her voice. Almost as if she was scared of me leaving her, or what would happen if I left her. I shook the feeling off none the less.

I continued to smile as I nodded my head. “Always,”