If You Only Knew

Alyssa’s POV

That night, I couldn’t sleep. My body refused to relax. Despite my exhaustion from crying for hours, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t keep my eyes closed long enough for me to sleep.

My mind kept wandering to tonight. I kept thinking about what was going to happen, what could be happening right now. I kept thinking about the pack, mainly Jake. They were all in danger. They were in danger because of me. They could possibly be getting themselves killed right now.

I sighed as I sat up in my bed. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t just lay here and assume the worst. I just needed to know what was going on. I needed to know something. I couldn’t stay up all night wondering.

I quickly walked over to my closet and grabbed a hoodie. I quickly slipped it on over top of my clothes, buttoning it up as fast as I could. I quickly slipped on a pair of shoes, not caring which one. I quickly grabbed a ponytail holder, and tied my hair into a messy bun, as fast as I could. I could care less what I looked like at this point. I simply needed to get dressed as fast as I could.

This was completely irrational. This was possibly one of the most dangerous, craziest and stupidest ideas that I’ve ever had. It was completely on impulse, and out of worry.

I quietly walked into the hallway. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to climb out of my window this time. Jake had to catch me last time I snuck out. This time, I was on my own.

I quietly made my way down the steps. I avoided any part of the steps that I thought would make noise. When I thought I heard a noise I would freeze completely. I wouldn’t move for a few moments until I thought that the coast was clear.

Once I reached the bottom of the steps I tip-toed over to the front door. I placed my hand on the small space between the door and the wall, the section that opens. I knew that the door wouldn’t make a sound this way. This wasn’t the first time that I had snuck out of the house before.

I unlocked the door with my free hand, before slowly turning the knob. Once the door was unlocked, I softly pulled it open, using my other hand to guide the door. Once I had opened the door enough for me to slip through, I did.

I quietly shut the door behind me. I quickly checked the house for any sign of movement. Once I saw that everything was clear I turned on me heel, beginning to walk off the porch. I pulled my hood onto my head as I continued to walk.

It seemed to be darker tonight than it ever had been. Most of the moon was hiding behind thick gray clouds, causing only a small amount of light to illuminate the darkness. The air was cool, as it always was during the night. An eerie silence hung over the air, only adding to my fears.

I started walking in the direction of the woods. The woods were pitch black; I couldn’t see anything through the thicket. The woods appeared darker than they ever had before. There wasn’t any trace of light in the woods.

I pulled my hoodie closer to me, as I continued to walk towards the trees. I was on edge, paranoid even, but I kept going.

I knew where they were. I knew that they were going to be in the woods. It was the only place that I knew that I could get some answers. When I was a few feet from the woods, I heard a twig snap.

I immediately froze at the sound. My heart was pounding in my chest at an uncontrollable rate. I could feel goose bumps beginning to form on my legs, not only out of fear, but from the cold air. My eyes darted back and forth, searching for any sign of movement. I began to take deep breaths to relax myself, I was having little success.

A low growl echoed through the trees. My chest began to heave up and down, as my breathing became irregular. I clutched my hoodie tighter to my body as I stood on front of the trees.

“Calm down, Alyssa, just breathe,” I mumbled to myself.

I needed to stay calm. Being afraid would only make things worse. I needed to remain calm at all times. Any slight reaction may cause me to lose control. Any loss of control could cause me to use my powers in a way unintended.

A rustle in the trees, caused me to take another deep breath. My mind was beginning to send my body into fight or flight. Flight seemed like the more rational, logical option. Fight, was the option that I was considering.

I took another deep breath as a wolf stepped out of the thicket. My body seemed to relax a bit, but I knew that it was one of the guys.

The size of the wolf, instantly told me that it was a member of the pack. His fur was a light gray, though the lack of light gave it the appearance of being slightly darker. An image of Jacob’s russet fur ran through my mind, letting me know that this wolf wasn’t Jacob. His dark brown orbs were set on me instantly. The intense stare that I was getting from him, made me take a step back.

I took one more deep breath, as I stared back at the wolf. I swallowed, trying to remove the lump that had formed in my throat. I wanted answers, now I was going to get them.

“I know you’re not Jacob, so……who are you?” I questioned.

In any other situation, I would have felt insane talking to an animal. The only thing that was allowing me to be comfortable with this was the fact that I knew that they could understand me. If this wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t have stayed as long as I had.

The wolf simply stared back at me. He narrowed his eyes at me slightly. It took me a while to figure out that he was confused. Whether he was confused about how to respond or why I was asking, I didn’t know.

A sigh escaped my lips as my eyes closed. I knew that I wasn’t going to get anywhere by simply asking him who he was. He couldn’t respond to me, at least he couldn’t respond in this form.

I bit my bottom lip, before opening my eyes. “Quil?” I guessed.

He shook his head from side to side, a silent no. his gaze was still focused on me, never straying. I pursed my lips as I began to think about how this could be.

“Well, you can’t be Jacob or Sam…not Paul…Embry maybe?”

I watched as he nodded his head, yes. An extremely small smile made its way onto my lips. I was feeling slightly hopeful at the sight of Embry. Seeing him let me know that things weren’t as bad as my mind perceived.

Embry took a step forward closer towards me. I was relaxed a bit since I knew who this was now, but my guard had yet to go down.

He nodded his head towards the house, silently telling me to go back. Allow it was hard to read the expression on his wolf face, I knew that he was being serious. Yet despite his seriousness, my body wouldn’t allow me to go back yet.

“Are you guys alright?” I questioned.

He quickly nodded his head before taking another step closer to me. His eyes narrowed as he motioned towards the house once more.

I bit my lip as I took a step back. “Does Jake know that I’m out here?”

Embry closed his eyes before nodding once more. I could tell that he was beginning to become aggravated with me. I couldn’t blame him though. I was being the girl in the scary movie that puts herself in danger for a stupid reason. I was doing just that, putting myself in danger.

Embry took one last step towards me. He was now standing directly in front of me. He easily toward over me. Not only was his frame large in size, but it was large in height as well. I had to crane my neck in order to stare up at him. I knew that if I did this for too long, that I would have a pain in my neck.

He brought his head down so that he was eye level with me. If I didn’t know that this was Embry, I would have been terrified. Being, eye to eye with a creature of his stature could easily petrify someone.

He brought his node to my shoulder, giving me a slight push. I stumbled back slightly, but I easily regained my balance. He was telling me to go back to the house.

Somehow I knew that Jacob and Sam were also telling him to get me into the house. I knew that if Jacob could he would be the one pushing me towards the house. Jacob would have phased and carried me into the house by now.

“I’m going, now I just……I just wanted to know that you guys were okay,”

I turned on my heel only to stare at the house. I looked over my shoulder to find Embry hadn’t moved an inch. The low growl that erupted from his throat caused me to jump slightly. I nodded my head signaling that I was leaving.

I had only taken to steps, before a piercing howl, echoed through the woods. The howl was loud and painful, causing me to tense up once more. I quickly turned around as I stared at the dark forest.

Embry was staring at the woods as well. His body had tensed up as well, his back arched slightly. His fur was now standing on edge as he growled once more.

Embry turned around to face me, but before he could, I took off towards the woods.

There were so many things running through my mind that I hadn’t even had time to process what I had just done. It wasn’t rational in anyway shape or form. It was a complete and utter impulse decision.