'Oh How the Lights Are Shining'

Gabe's P.O.V

“Wakey wakey” Vicky’s voice is loud, and yet distant, in my ears. “You gotta get up some time Gabe” she tells me. I start trying to blink my eyes open until she ruthlessly rips back the curtains, revealing bright sunshine into the room and burning them.

“Vicky!” I try and yell, but it comes out as a sorry croak, causing her to laugh.

“Dude, you sound…and look rough. You realise we have a shoot in….two hours”

I groan, not able to move due to my headache. I feel the bed dip as she sits on the end of it. Trying to peak through my eyelid, I see she’s watching me.

“Stop watching me” I mutter. “its creepy”

She laughs again, the high noise hurting my ears. “Gabe you need to pull yourself together” he voice a little more soothing. She gets up off the bed and finds my suitcase. She pulls out trousers and a t-shirts and chucks them onto the bed, as I watch through half-closed eyes. “Where were you last night anyway? We had such a great time ,but you were no-where!”

I let out a low, gentle sigh, moving a heavy arm up, and running one of my hands up through my thick hair. Feeling the length reminded me it needed a cut. I’d been meaning to do that…
“Look at the state of me” I reply through gritted teeth. “Where do you think I was”

“Okay okay. Well get dressed. We gotta go” she smiles, leaving.

I relax my aching muscles and let myself sink back down into the bed for a while, closing my eyes. It no use now though, because the curtains open and the room is light.
I push the covers off and swing my legs over the edge of the bed, dropping my had down into my hands and holding my head tightly, letting out a long breath before I’m able to get up.
Stumbling, I feel for the wall, steadying myself as the room spins and my stomach clenches and un-clenches.

I wash my face in the sink with cold water ,which draws my attention to the fact that I also need a shave. I’m letting myself go but I really don’t care.

“Another club tonight!?” I whine as our manager announces the ‘good news’. “I cant fucking handle this” I shake my head.

“I can tell. You look like shit, which reminds me: sort yourself out Gabriel” our manager tells mysympathetically.

“Shut up” I sigh. Massaging my temples I protest “I’m not doing it”

“Gabe” Ryland laughs, nudging me. “Quit moaning”

So I follow them miserably to the club, after receiving a forced haircut and shave. Wow. As I make my way over to the bar as usually, to drown my sorrow, I bump into a familiar figure.

“Gabe! My man!” Jack Barakat comes skipping over to me, happiest guy ever, and hugs me tightly. “let me get you a pint!” he insists.

“Um, alright dude.”

We find stools and sit and catch up. “So, what’s up then? You seem a little…sad? Life getting you down?” he asks innocently enough.

“Oh I’m fine” I shrug, downing my third pint in as many minutes. “What are you up to at the moment?” I ask in a pathetic attempt to change the conversation away from where every conversation I’ve had recently seems to be heading.

“Just partying it up for one last night on the East Coast” he shrugs, buying me another beer.

“Oh? Where you off to?”

“Well, I’m heading over to L.A”. I’m not sure if my ears visibly pick up, but suddenly I’m listening. “Alex is out there already. You know what, the funniest thing? Remember that girl from on tour that he fancied? Wentz’ bitch?”

I nod, my jaw clenched, not sure if I want to carry on listening.

“He’s staying at her place! I’m going over to visit. Should be fun, dontch’a reckon?”

The pint slips between my fingers, smashing onto the floor below, causing more of a scene than I would of liked. I open and close my mouth for a moment, disbelieving. “Y..wh..huh?”

Jack is frowning at me now. “Are you alright?” he asks, a little concerned. I think he’s regretting bumping into me.

A mix of emotions, I’m not sure what to do. “Can you deal with this?” I ask Jack, leaving before he has a chance to reply.
I shove my way through the crowd, panicking for no apparent reason, and suddenly feeling claustrophobic. I feel so angry and frustrated I just want to punch someone/something, but I’m over-whelmed with sadness. My stomach feels tighter than this morning and there’s no reason for it to now.
My fists are clenched tight, as are my teeth. Cold air blasts my face as I finally get out of the club. Opening my hand I reach into my pocket, pulling out my mobile, I keep heading down the road though.

It’s pitch black out now and lamppost’s are few and far between. The floor is damp and slippy, even though the air is dry.
Within minutes I reach the coast and find a small cliff to sit on, ten feet or so above a dull sandy beach. Not a tourist resort…

Finally un-locking my phone, I scroll the contacts list, missing Kitty’s name a few times, I finally connect. My fingers are going numb in the cold, and my head rings along with the phone.
He voice eventually cuts in, and I takes me a moments to realise its her answer phone message. Resisting the urge to throw my phone down onto the beach, I ring again but still, she doesn’t answer.
I jump up in despair.
One last try…
Otherwise...there's no point...