Tied Up In Knots

Patrick's POV

In the court room today, with the final papers sitting on the table and my teammate sitting across from me, touching my wife, I was desperate, more desperate than I'd ever been in my life. My lawyer, the one that Lydia warned me against using because of his cheap price and less than exemplary credentials, was brilliant. He may not have worn Armani suits like her high priced attorney, but he sure knew the tricks of the trade and he bought me more time at least ten weeks, maybe more if I could stretch it out, ten weeks that I could use to convince Lydia she was making a mistake. It was a sly move, the marriage counseling thing, it was sure to piss her off, but it's what I needed to do. I wasn't about to give up without a fight.

Watching her today, sitting across the table with another man made me insane with jealousy. The fact that it was my teammate, a friend, it was like pouring salt in the wounds. I could have made it easy and just signed the papers, then watched him walk out with her. I sat there wondering if that would make Lydia happy, if me signing those papers and walking out of her life would actually cause her happiness. I watched the way she interacted with him, looking for a sign that Duncan Keith was capable of making Lydia happy and when I didn't see it, I didn't see her eyes sparkle at him or the corners of her mouth turn up when he touched her, I had proof what I already knew in my heart. He couldn't make her happy like I could.

I laid on the sofa in nothing but a pair of boxers watching the Cubs beat up on the Pirates, drinking a beer and trying to forget everything. Being a slob, eating junk food, watching sports all day, were just a few of the benefits of returning to bachelorhood. But even sitting there alone and knowing it wasn't going to happen, I hoped to see Lydie walking through the swinging door from the kitchen. I wanted her to tell me to put my feet down, snag the bag of chips and tell me to do something productive. I would have given anything for that to happen.

I didn't exactly get my wish, because she came through the front door without knocking, and she didn't yell at me about my feet on the sofa, instead she told me I was a "no good lousy son of a bitch," but a smile spread on my lips, one I couldn't hide. Her short bob was tussled and tucked behind her ears, her lips were pursed in disgust, and her eyes held a fire behind them. Yep she was mad, raging mad, but her presence in our house made my heart swell against my chest and gave me hope. I still had the ability to move her, even if was toward anger, I could still affect her and that meant everything.

**** Lydia's POV

There was no reason to knock, he didn't respect me, so I wasn't going to respect him. If the door was locked I planned to just use my key. I would use it to open the door and then throw it at him when I walked in. It's not like I wanted or needed it, and why I hadn't already removed it from my keyring was a mystery. I walked up the stone walkway to the front door. I didn't take time to look around the place. I didn't care if the lawn was mowed or if he'd brought the trash cans in. I just wanted to get inside and throw things at Patrick.

I turned the knob and finally something went my way, he hadn't locked it. I flung the door open, and there he was lazily sprawled out on the couch. He was practically naked laying there, not that I cared, all the rage I held was boiling over. "You are a no good lousy son of a bitch!" I slammed the door behind me. The neighbors didn't need to hear the words I planned to use. "How could you do this to me Patrick? HOW COULD YOU!?!"

He sat up wearing a smirk, taunting me with his eyes and wicked smile. I picked up a vase, one we had received as a wedding present, it was probably worth a small fortune and I lobbed it at him. It missed and hit the coffee table and millions of porcelain peaces scattered all over the place.

"Fuck Lyd!" he said startled. I was relieved to see the smirk was gone from his face as he stood up. It felt like a mini victory. At least he'd take me serious now.

"You think you can get away with this Patrick? You think you can prolong the inevitable?" I didn't like that he was moving toward me. "It is inevitable," I assured him. He kept moving closer so I backed up toward the door. "You can pull all the little tricks you want, but we ARE getting a divorce!" He stood only three feet from me and I tried so hard to remember the conversation with Duncan earlier that day. Don't let him affect me…Don't let him affect me! I said over and over in my head, but really wasn't my presence in that house showing him how he was able to affect me? That was the moment I realized what a bad decision I'd made.

"Since you're so sure we are getting a divorce then what's the big deal? It's just ten weeks. If it is so inevitable as you say, then why is this getting your panties in a twist."

"You…" I pointed my finger at him. "You, don't need to worry about my panties. You need to sign those papers and set me free."

"I've got news for you Lydia Sharp. You can try all you want, but you are never going to be free, not from us. What we have isn't going to go away because we sign a a bunch of papers. And since I'm being completely honest you should probably know that all I do these days is worry about your panties."

"Well don't! You're wasting your time. My panties are just fine!" Why I was stooping to his level and responding to the panty thing was beyond me, it was just the heat of the fight, and he had me so mad, so frustrated. My fists were clenched tight trying to keep from lunging at him and ringing his neck.

"Right. Do you hear yourself? They're 'just fine'? Is that really what you want Lydie? Something that is OK, mediocre, just OK? Something that lack's passion? Someone who you settle for because you're too stubborn to see what's in front of your face?"

"You keep Duncan out of this. This isn't about him."

"You said his name I didn't. You're the one that chose to sleep with him. You brought him into that courtroom today. Duncan is never going to make you happy Lydia." He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear, sending unwelcome shivers down my spine. "He's never going to light that flame inside you. Not like I can. Don't settle Lydia."

I took one more step back putting my back almost against the door. "Don't settle? Don't settle? For Duncan…You think being with Duncan is settling?" My voice was raised again. "You are sadly mistaken. Duncan is a man Patrick. He's all man. He makes me happy." I looked right at him now. "I told you you don't have to worry about my panties, they are well taken care of." It was low, eluding to my sex life with Duncan was terribly low, but I needed to make a point. I just wish I hadn't looked in his eyes when I'd said it. Seeing the hurt there behind his gorgeous baby blues may have pained me as much as it did him.

But his expression quickly changed. Instead of addressing what I'd said or admitting defeat, he took another path. "I love it when you get all frazzled Lyd. You're so feisty, your eyes sparkle and you bite your lip. You're going to be an amazing lawyer."

The lawyer comment while it may have seemed like a small thing, was actually huge. The one thing I always craved from him was his support on my career. It wasn't that he wasn't supportive exactly I guess, but he preferred to tease me about it more than offer praise or encouragement. It may have been sincere, it felt sincere, but it also could have been a sneaky attempt to push my buttons. It worked. It softened me to my core, it made me ache for something I could no longer have, to reach out and grab what I was losing. I couldn't let him know that. I couldn't show any sign of weakness. "You're an asshole!" I spat

"What?!? What did I say?" He looked legitimately confused.

"You know what, what you just said, that I'm 'going to be an amazing lawyer'." I threw it back at him in a tone that matched his.

He was so damn calm and he kept looking at me searching for something, I could see it in his eyes. "It's true Lydia. You will be an remarkable lawyer. It's all that passion you have for a good fight." He stepped closer, but there was no where for me to go. So I decided to hold my ground, trying hard as hell not to look back in his eyes. "It's all the passion you have here…" He reached out and put his hand on the lower region of my stomach. "in your gut. You're so fucking passionate when you think you're right." He didn't move his hand, he just left it there. It should have been innocent, he wasn't being sexual, he was making a point, but every part of my body went into overdrive, ached for him, called out for him to keep touching me. My heart and body were completely betraying my head. "You're an amazing woman." His hand moved from my stomach to settle on my hip, and I became all too aware of his lack of clothes, his piercing blue eyes and his three day old beard that I secretly loved. "So spirited and beautiful. I don't think I've told you enough how beautiful you are." Both of his hands went to my neck and he tilted my chin up with his thumbs.

I don't know how I got there, to that place. I went from burning with anger to burning with something completely different. "Patrick No." I managed to whisper just as his lips came down on mine. I must not have meant it. No I did; my head meant it, but my heart and my body wanted his lips on mine more than anything in the world. His lips were soft and his beard was scratchy and the combination set me on fire in all the wrong ways.

It started simple, almost sweet, his hands on throat holding my head in place while his lips massaged mine softly. It may have started simple, but soon his tongue was poking my lips and then exploring the inside of my mouth. I missed him, I missed the taste of him, I missed the way he used his lips and tongue to kiss me into a frenzy and warm me from my insides out. He let one hand wander downward from my neck over my collarbone, between my breasts and settle back on my hips. Maybe it was what he didn't touch that warmed me to my core. His mouth moved from my lips down my jaw to my neck while he walked me backward the half a step to the door.

Where was my resistance when he pulled my blouse from the waist band of my skirt? Where was my ability to say no when he kissed my neck and furiously attacked the buttons running down my chest? Where was my resolve as he moaned that I "felt like heaven" and stroked my breast through the lace of my bra?

****Patrick's POV

I meant it when I said she'd make a great lawyer. Lydia had passion, like I'd never seen in another human being. It was that and her tenacity that attracted me in the first place; the way her smile lit her eyes up and when angry a fire burned behind them. Tenacity and passion were the same qualities that would make her an awesome attorney. When paid her that complement, I noticed a reaction I didn't expect. I noticed everything about her change, her facial expression, the anger behind her eyes, like I'd said magic words.

I reached out and touched her, and to my utter surprise she didn't push me away. I was shocked but I recognized it as a huge step in the right direction, maybe she could trust me again, trust me to touch her. We were so close and my hand rested on her stomach, even through her clothes, the feel of her in my hands was like home to me. "You're an amazing woman, so spirited and beautiful. I don't think I've told you enough how beautiful you are."

I'd always been attracted to women with long hair, but Lydia's short hair was perfect for her. She'd once mentioned letting it grow, but I begged her not to, telling her it gave me easy access to her amazing neck throat and earlobes. She blushed and giggled and I soon went to work on those parts to make sure she wouldn't be making any changes. Her short bobbed hairstyle showed off the smooth silky skin of her long neck, long and smooth like her legs. I wanted, needed to touch her, and almost like a vampire, her neck just looked so amazing to me, I wanted to touch it with my finger tips and my mouth. I wanted to devour her starting at her neck and working my way down her body. But Lydie was like a wounded animal, one small move too fast or in the wrong direction and she was lost to me again. I slowly moved one hand and then the other to the base of her neck and slid my hands upward letting my thumbs tilt her chin and connect our eyes. Her rage was gone and replaced by something that made me ache for her, lust. She wanted me, and while it wasn't love, it was getting me closer, closer to her heart.

I'd been dreaming of touching her again of holding her and kissing her so when I brought my lips down on hers softly, and when she didn't pull away, the soft sweet kiss just didn't seem enough. Soon I was devouring her. She tasted familiar and delicious like mint and honey like candy that I'd once tasted but had so recently been denied. I was losing control, losing my ability to go slow. It took all my strength not to tear at her clothes and just take her against the door. She deserved so much better than that. But as my mouth moved from hers to her jaw and then her neck and my lips and teeth nibbled and sucked at her skin, my body took over and wildly worked the buttons of her silk blouse.

It wasn't all me, they weren't all my feelings, my pangs of love and lust, she felt them too. Her rapid heart beat, and labored breath, her eyes rolling back in her head and the soft moans like music to my ears, the way she pressed her breasts into my chest. I was greedy, I wanted her more than I'd ever wanted anything in my life, I needed her like I've never needed anything, but still I waited for a sign to stop, dreaded her pushing me away. I listened and other than the small "no" she had whispered when I first kissed her, there was nothing. I opened her shirt and touched her. "Lydie," I moaned. "You feel like heaven." And she did, she felt like everything good in the world and the feel of her breast in my hand lit me up from the inside out.

Needing more and praying she wouldn't stop me, that she still loved me and that she wanted this as much as I did, I reached between us, down to the hem of her skirt. My hand rested on the milky smooth skin of her thigh as I slid the martial upward slowly, painfully slowly. My cock twitched as I felt the skin of her inner thigh, and when I reached the material of her panties and pressed between her legs, "Patrick", squeaked from the deepest part of her insides. Hearing her saying my name, knowing she wanted me, I nearly lost control of myself and came on the spot. It had been way to long since I touched a woman, and now I was touching the only one that mattered in the universe.

I wanted her, to taste her, to make love to her, simply to love her, but not up against the door, not like that. Sex like that was good, fucking fantastic, but not what I needed or wanted and not what I wanted for her now. I wanted to make love to my wife, to look her in the eyes as we became one, to make her feel sexy and loved, not cheep and easy. I moved my hands from between her legs electing not to break the barrier created by her thin lace panties. I stopped kissing her and touching her. I took a step back, looked her in the eye and took the biggest risk thus far."I love you Lydia. I love you. Come up stairs with me. Come up stairs and let me make love to you."

That's when it all changed, instead of the yes I'd hoped for, half expected, her eyes filled with tears. "I can't," she choked out.

I grabbed ahold of her arms just above her elbows, "You can, we can. I love you Lydia. You're my wife and I want to make love to you."

She gasped like something stuck in her throat, then said, "NO, no" her head shook violently, and tears streamed from her eyes. "I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have let you do this."

I felt like someone was stepping on my throat, like I couldn't breath. It was all so good just seconds ago, it had been so good. "I would never hurt you Lydie. I would never hurt you."

She pulled away and started buttoning up her blouse. "You already did hurt me Patrick. You cheated, and I would never do that to Duncan."

"Pft." She had to bring him up. Had to mention his name, and now I understood how earlier Lydie could go from enraged with anger to over come with lust in seconds. I had gone from hot as fuck to enraged in probably less time. "You'd never cheat on him? What were you just doing sweetheart?" Sarcasm dripped from my voice.

"Patrick." Her voice held surprise and shock by my sudden change in attitude.

"What Lydia? If I hadn't stopped to ask, if I hadn't been a gentleman…You would have let me fuck you right against that door!" Her mouth dropped open, like I'd said something evil, vile, unimaginable. "What? Are you going to deny it? Are you going to stand there and tell me you didn't enjoy my hands on you? That you didn't want me?"

"I never would have let it get that far."

Now I was enraged and shouting. "You are a fucking hypocrite Lydie. Next you're going to tell me you don't love me!"

I waited for it, but instead she said something that hurt worse, worse than if she said she didn't love me. She was sobbing and she opened the door, walked half way out, "I HATE YOU!" My heart was in my throat and I just wanted her back in my arms. "I despise you. I wish I never had to lay eyes on you again."

**** Lydia's POV

The number 1056 was in the middle of the large black door. I'd been inside hundreds of times, but not in the last six months, and I honestly wondered how welcomed I'd be at this ungodly hour. After ruling out all other possibilities this is where I wanted to go more than anywhere. I rapped on the door and waited. Streaks of mascara made roadmaps for the tears rolling uncontrollably down my cheeks. It was late, and maybe he wasn't home, so I knocked again almost ready to give up. Just as I was ready to turn and leave the door swung open. Before I saw his face, I heard his words. "This better be fucking good."

As he stepped into the light of the hallway his baby blues softened and I landed in his arms sobbing like a baby. I should have noticed by his clothes or lack there of, that he had company, but I didn't. Not until I heard her voice coming from behind where he cradled me.

"Adam, What's going on here?"

Adam pulled me quickly inside and shut the door. He held my head against his chest and turned us both so he could address the all but naked woman behind him. "Looks like you're gonna have to go," he replied

I only caught a glimpse of her but she was pretty, tall, blond, big boobs, just Adams type, but at the mention of her required departure, she turned into a raving bitch. "I can't believe you're going to kick me out." Adam didn't say anything and the woman stood there just tapping her foot on the floor waiting to hear Adam tell her it was a mistake or a joke. "Oh my God, you're serious? You're kicking me out…for her?"

Adam never let go of me and he didn't let me turn my head to look at her, but his whole body tensed up. "That's right. Get your clothes and get out!"