I Can Hear Your Voice of Treason From a Mile Away.

Current Time
(Starr is 27 years old; Dryden is 7; Colton is 3)

I was helping Mr. Johnston go through some clothes for an up-and-coming fashion show when his secretary, Melissa, paged the intercom in the room. “Sorry Mr. Johnston, but Starr, you have a call on line one; a lady from Colton’s daycare.”

Mr. Johnston took the dress from my hand and placed it back on the table. “Go ahead, Starr,” He nodded at me. “I can handle this while you’re gone.”

“Thank you.” Mr. Johnston, or James if you’d like, is my boss at James Johnston Fashions in Los Angeles, California. He’s an older man in his late 50s early 60s, with a beautiful wife and five beautiful children. The oldest is three years younger than me and the youngest is three years older than Dryden, so Mr. Johnston knows what it’s like to worry about your kids.

My Christian Dior heels clicked loudly as I made my way to my office. It wasn’t very big in size, but it was just big enough for what I needed it for. Shutting the door behind me, I quickly walked over to my brown mahogany desk and took a seat in the leather chair behind it. Pushing the right buttons on the office phone, I put it to my ear and said hello.

“Miss Perez, this is Bethany from Colton’s daycare. Earlier this morning, he started to feel bad, and just about ten minutes ago, he started to have a slight temp. I thought it best to call you, so maybe you could come get him.”

“Alright, let me see what I can do. Thank you, Bethany. I’ll call you when I know for sure who’s going to pick him up.”

“Okay, Miss Perez. Sorry for having to call you at work.”

“Oh no, Bethany, Colton is my baby. I need to know when something is wrong with him.”

After I got off the phone with Bethany, I decided to call David, Colton’s father who lives in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. He was just recently in town, spending time with Colton and Dryden while he had a break in touring. He was due to leave sometime today, but I wasn’t sure what time.

“Hello?”

“David, hey, are you still in town?”

“Um, no Starr, I’m not. Why, what’s going on?” I had to remind myself to focus on the matter at hand, several times. This was no time to get lost in David’s Canadian accent, even if his accent was adorably sexy.

“It’s nothing too bad, David. Colton’s running a fever, and I was just going to see if you were able to pick him up.”

“Ah, shit Starr. The plane already left or I would.”

“David, its fine, I’ll go get him if I need to.”

“Alright, Starr. I love you,”

“Love you, too,”

David Philippe Desrosiers and I have a weird relationship. We aren’t dating anymore—we haven’t been for a while—but we still say I love you to one another. I guess it’s just the way we are. We love each other, but we’re not in love with each other, if that makes any sense.

I knew I couldn’t call Gerard or Frankie; the two of them were for sure in New Jersey. I couldn’t call Amir or Leila because Amir was at the car dealership working and Leila was at the hospital as a call-in nurse. Come to think of it, all my friends were either working or out of town.

Then, it occurred to me. What about Brian’s parents? My ex mother in law and father in law—Dryden’s grandparents—possibly could do it. Dryden hadn’t seen them in a while, and they just loved to have Colton over as well. Maybe Suzy or Brian Sr. could get him for me.

I quickly dialed Suzy’s number and waited for her to pick up.

“Hello?” Good ol’ Suzy Haner and her sweet voice. She could calm anyone down with it.

“Suzy, hey, this is Starr.”

“Hi, Starr honey, how are you and the boys?”

“Actually, Suzy, that’s why I’m calling; the daycare just called me to say Colton’s running a fever. I’m stuck at work for a couple more hours, and I was wondering if you could pick him up for me. I’ll give you gas money. I just don’t have a way to go get him at the moment.” I bit my lip, hoping she would say yes. I hated not being able to go get him myself, especially when I knew he wasn’t feeling good.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. Brian and I would be happy to watch Colton for you. We could pick Dryden up from school too, if you’d like.”

Oh, thank God. Suzy Haner was a life saver.

“Sure, Dryden would love to see you guys.”

“Alright, honey. We’ll see you when you get off.”

“Okay. Thank you so much, Suzy. I’ll see you later. Tell Papa Gates I said hi.”

“I sure will.”

Even though Colton isn’t their biological grandson, Suzy and Brian Sr. have always treated him like he is. They love him just as much as they love Dryden, and I think it’s great. I always had a problem with not feeling loved in my earlier years, and I never wanted my kids to go through that, which is why I think I tried to hold on to my marriage as long as I did. Suzy and Papa Gates have always had this way of making people feel loved. They once told me that even though I wasn’t with their son anymore, they still considered me to be like a daughter, which meant that Colton was their grandson as much as Dryden was.

Suzy and Papa Gates are like parents to me. They don’t talk to me just so they’ll be assured rights to see Dryden; they talk to me because they genuinely care for me. By all means, they could hate me for not being with Brian Jr., still—God knows his friends do—but they don’t. They treat me like they always have, like family.

I called the daycare back and told them Colton’s “grandparents” would be picking him up. Unfortunately for me, I got ahold of one of the not-so-smart teenagers working there and had to repeat myself fifty times before she understood it.

There was a knock on the door just as I was hanging the phone up. “Come in,” The door opened and in came Mr. Johnston.

He smiled at me as he shut the door behind him. “So, how’s the little tyke?”

“He’ll be okay. He has a slight fever, that’s all.” I smiled slightly, a corner of my mouth tilting up just a bit. “Thanks for asking.”

“Then, what’s wrong?” He made his way across the room and sat in one of the leather chairs proportional to my desk. “You don’t look too happy.”

“It’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just—I’m not sure about driving out to HB this afternoon. I mean it’s been five years.”

I knew the guys were back home from their latest tour, and I knew there was a possibility of Brian going over to his parents’ house. I had managed to avoid the man for five years, letting him have the possibility of seeing Dryden when he was at a Papa Gates’ house. I had too many memories, too much heartbreak hidden away deep in the library of my brain; memories that still haunted my dreams, my thoughts, my every waking moment. I was a train wreck deep inside, and I owed it all to him. I hated him—no, I despised him. I hated his existence, but most of all, I hated him for treating me the way he did all those years ago. I was never good enough for him to love, only good enough for him to pretend to love me.

“Oh, come on, Starr.” James Johnston sighed. “You have to face your fears. One of these days, you’re going to—oh, I don’t know—be out shopping or something, and guess what; baby daddy number one is going to be there. You can’t run away from your past, honey, because it’ll always be there.”

“I know, I know. It’s just that I gave the man everything, and all he did was cheat on me and get me pregnant. He didn’t care about me at all.”

“That may be true Starr, but the man gave you a wonderful thing. He gave you Dryden, and you know that without that little boy, you would’ve never been strong enough to get through all you’ve been through.”

Mr. Johnston and I had a quick coffee break before we went back to sorting out the outfits for the fashion show. One by one, we got the details sorted out until we were left with nothing else to sort. At which point, Mr. Johnston told me to take the rest of the day off.

“I want you to go shopping for a bit. Just take your mind off of things,” He told me as I was leaving. I nodded my head and told him I’d see him Monday.

My pitch black 2007 Dodge Charger was in the employee parking lot, waiting for me. The interior was done up in grey and black with some red here and there. I loved it to death. The Dodge Charger had always been my dream car, but I never had the chance to get one until just recently. And now that I had it, I was keeping it pretty and spotless.

The car purred as it came to life and I started the engine. I backed out of the parking place and took off out of the parking lot. I didn’t see any use in going home to change, seeing as it didn’t really matter how I was dressed, so I just got on the interstate to Huntington Beach and started the hour long drive.

Huntington Beach, California had been my home for quite some time, until 5 years ago when I moved to Montreal, Quebec, Canada for 3 years, and then moved to Los Angeles. HB was a gorgeous town with friendly people and nice scenery. It was family-oriented and everyone knew each other. The best thing about the place was its beaches; the crystal blue water and almost white sand.

I loved Huntington Beach when I lived there, but with all the drama with Brian, I just couldn’t bring myself to stay there. I didn’t want to have to worry about seeing Brian everywhere I went. I wanted to be as far away as possible. It was just a lucky chance that my cousin Kelly was in Canada with her boyfriend’s band, and I was able to stay with them for a while; which is how I met David.

When I came upon the mall exit, I took it and like James suggested, I headed for a short shopping trip. I figured Dryden would want to stay the night at their house, so I headed to JCPenney, where I got him a few outfits and a pair of swim trunks. I also got Colton and I a few things from there just because I liked them. Though, I’m sure Suzy had more than enough clothes set aside for the three of us. She always liked to shop for us, even when I insisted it wasn’t necessary. But, Suzy was just that way. She wanted to do for others, even if they weren’t biological family.

I was on my way to Macy’s when I heard my name being called. Curious, I turned around to see Chris DiBenedetto, Val’s brother, smiling at me.

“Chris, hey,” I smiled at him, surprised to see him.

“Starr, you look great!” He exclaimed as he brought me into a hug. “I swear you get prettier every time I see you.”

I chuckled a little before saying thank you.

“So, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in, what, five years?”

“I was in Canada for a little while before I moved to Los Angeles. I’ve been in LA for the past two years. Val didn’t tell you?”

“No, no she didn’t. How’s Dryden?”

I smiled. “He’s good. Him and Colton are at the Haner’s right now.”

“Oh, that’s right. You had another little boy. How old is he?”

“Three. He’s four years younger than Dryden.”

“Well, I got to go. It was nice seeing you, Starr. Maybe we can get together sometime and talk about things. Take care,”

Chris DiBenedetto was the nicest guy. Where Michelle got her attitude from, I’ll never know. Valary and Chris both had hearts of gold, but Val’s twin’s heart was mad of stone.

Finding something at Macy’s was a lost cause so I just walked back to my car and left the mall.