I Can Hear Your Voice of Treason From a Mile Away.

At seven in the morning, Johnny and I were still the only ones awake. Not even Suzy or Papa Gates were up yet, which was strange because they were usually early birds.

Turning to Johnny, who was on the couch watching TV, I threw a couch pillow at him, succeeding in hitting the back of his head. He turned to me, raising an eyebrow. “Do you think Suzy has any pancake mix?” I asked him, innocently.

“I’m sure she does,” He nodded, confused. “Why?”

“Wanna help me make breakfast?”

“Oh God,” He groaned, looking around at all the food sitting on the counters. “Why did I agree to this?”

“Oh chill, Seward,” I giggled, mixing the batter for pancakes. “You don’t have to cook. You just have to help me.”

By eight o’clock, people started to wake up and come downstairs, following the smells of eggs, pancakes, bacon, and hash browns. Johnny was already seated at the kitchen table, nibbling on his scrambled eggs and sausage. McKenna was the first one down the stairs, carrying a sleepy Colton on her hip. She was still dressed in her pajamas, her hair pulled into a braid on each side of her head. “He was crying,” She mumbled, tiredly. Handing him to me, she began to put food on her plate, sitting at the breakfast nook afterwards to eat it.

Setting Colton on my hip, I got up to make him a plate of food, cutting his pancakes and eggs into smaller pieces that would be easier for him to chew. Grabbing the booster seat from the pantry, I placed it in the seat next to Johnny, so he could watch Colton for a minute or two.

Brent was just leaving the basement when I walked into the living room to find Colton’s bag. He was in his boxers with a matching tee, rubbing his hair with a yawn. “Hello sleepyhead,” I chuckled. “Did you sleep well?” He just grunted at me, walking into the kitchen.

I followed behind him, carrying Colton’s Sippy cup. I filled it up with orange juice and placed it on the table in front of Colton. He smiled at me, chewing his food in his own little cute way. “Thank you, mom-me,”

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” I ruffled his hair. “Now, eat your food.”

After that, Suzy came down with Papa Haner following behind her. Her eyes widened when she saw all the food I made. “Wow,” She murmured. “Did you make all of this food, Starr?”

Nodding my head, I blushed slightly. “Yeah,” I smiled. “Johnny helped some,” I told her, honestly. “I’ll go to the store later and buy you groceries. I just thought everyone would like a big breakfast.”

“Oh, that’s so nice, Starr!” She gushed.

“We haven’t had a big breakfast since all the kids were still in school.” Papa Gates acknowledged, sitting at the kitchen table with a plate of pancakes and another one with eggs, sausage, bacon, and hash browns. “Thank you, Starr,”

“Yes,” Suzy sat down at the table, holding a plate of hash browns and eggs. “Thank you,”

“You’re welcome,” I laughed as they began to eat their food.

Brian was next, coming into the kitchen with Dryden on his back. He whistled, seeing all the food. “Shit, I’m hungry!”

Before I could stop myself, I was saying, “Brian!” But my voice was combined with that of Suzy and Brian Senior’s, so I didn’t feel so weird. He looked at us, eyes as wide as saucers.

“Oh, my bad,” He shrugged, bending down to let Dryden off his back. “Did you make all of this, Suzy?”

“No, Brian,” She stated between bites of food. “Starr actually did,”

He turned to me, surprised. “Oh,” He nodded. “It looks good.”

His dad turned to me, whispering, “That’s his way of saying thank you.”

Brian grabbed a plate, sitting next to me at the table. On his other side, Dryden began trying to cut his pancakes up to eat it. Brian chuckled, grabbing his fork and cutting the pancake up for him. “There ya go, little man,” He laughed, handing the plate back to Dryden.

When he turned, our eyes met and I blushed, quickly turning to my plate again.

One by one, people began to come down for food; Lacey came downstairs after Brian, followed by Leana and Jimmy. Then, Gena and Zacky came down before Matt and Val, completing our big group.

We all sat around, eating our food and talking about different things for a while. Then, Suzy suggested a crazy idea. “How about we spend the day at the amusement park?”

I almost choked on my coffee when she suggested it, making everyone turn to me. Smiling sheepishly, I cleared my throat. “Sorry,”

The last time I went to the amusement park in Orange County, I was still dating Brian. That same night, Dryden was conceived. How awkward would that be to go with him in the same group as me?

Suddenly, as everyone was discussing the idea of spending the day at the amusement park, I heard the lyrics of Mean by Taylor Swift blaring from the living room.

“ You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again
Got me feeling like I'm nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You picking on the weaker man ”

Rushing past curious eyes, I practically ran to the living room, jumping over the couch to get to my phone on the coffee table. Seeing a number I didn’t recognize, I hit the green ‘talk’ button. “Hello?” I asked, cautiously.

“Starr!” A frantic voice cried into the phone.

“Alaney,” I breathed into the phone. “What’s wrong?”

“Ashley’s boyfriend is at it again,” She cried. “And she’s so high she doesn’t even know what’s going on. Ruben is wasted beyond belief, too. He came after me, Starr. I’m so scared,” She breathed. “Can you come get us? Please,”

“Where are you?” I exclaimed, frantically searching the room for my shoes.

“I grabbed the girls and ran to your back yard.” She mumbled. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“That’s fine, Alaney.” I told her. “Did he follow you?”

“I don’t know,” She sighed. I could hear Annalee and Annalyn in the background, one of them crying. “I hope not,”

“Alright, ‘Laney, I want you to hide yourself and the girls in a hard to find place until I get there. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I exclaimed. “Keep your phone by you, and be careful, okay?”

“Thank you,” She mumbled, ending the call. Sliding my phone shut, I set it in my purse, searching for my shoes again.

“Is everything okay, Starr?” Looking up from the floor, I saw Papa Haner standing in the doorway with Brian and Val behind him. All three of them were staring at me, curiously.

“Not really,” I mumbled, straightening up. “I need to go pick up my neighbor and her nieces before they get hurt.”

“Before they get hurt . . . ?” Brian Senior repeated. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.” I mumbled, finally locating my shoes and slipping them on. “I’ll be back in an hour. Just go on to the park, and I’ll be here when you get back.” I slid my purse onto my shoulder, heading to the door.

Brian Jr. stepped in front of me. “Starr, stop,” He grabbed my arms, looking down at me. “Where are you going?” He asked. “You can’t go by yourself,”

“Why the hell not?” I glared up at him, defiantly.

“If they’re in harm’s way, Starr, you could be too.” Brian Senior insisted.

“You don’t understand,” I sighed, placing my hand to my forehead. “I’m all they have.” I fell onto the couch, shaking my head. “Alaney’s sister is only twenty-one years old. She has two four-year-old twins of her own and full custody of Alaney. She’s hooked on drugs with an abusive and alcoholic boyfriend, who won’t leave Alaney alone.” I sighed. “Alaney is only 16, Brian. She’s too young to have to deal with all that on her own.”

“Alright, but someone has to go with you,” Papa Haner nodded. “In case the guy goes after you, too.”

“I’ll go,” Looking at the younger Brian; I gulped, but still didn’t object. I just nodded my head in silent agreement.

“Meet us at the park when you get back,” Suzy yelled at us as we walked out the door. I eyed Brian’s attire as we walked to my car, wishing I’d changed into something else. Granted, the gown just looked like a maxi dress. I still felt slightly exposed compared to his jeans, tee and sneakers.

Unlocking my Charger, I climbed behind the wheel with Brian in the passenger seat. Turning on the car, Bullet For My Valentine’s ‘Your Betrayal’ began to play from where it left off, loudly. Turning it down, I apologized sheepishly and backed out of the driveway. On the way to Los Angeles, neither of us said anything. We just let the sounds of my mix CD fill the car. Feeling inclined to speak to him, I turned the music down. “Brian,” I murmured, licking my lips nervously. “Thank you for coming with me.” I looked over briefly to see him looking out the window. “I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it, Starr.” He shrugged. “I couldn’t let you get hurt, ya know.” He looked over to me, briefly. “You’re the mother of my son, Starr, not to mention the mother of some other guy’s son. What would people say if I let you get hurt?”

I shook my head. I should have seen that one coming. It was always about what other people thought with him. I could understand some of it, since he is in a pretty well-known band, but most of the time, I found it all ridiculous, especially back when we were together. It was all about his image. He didn’t want anything ruining his great image. Well, what would people say if they found out he was once married, and he treated his wife like crap so she left with his son? How would that make him look then?

Going several miles over the speed limit, like I had a lead foot, I rushed to get to my house. I was hoping to God and all things Holy that Alaney and the twins were okay. Alaney was like a younger sister to me; she was too old to be my daughter, but I still cared about her. Her sister was too young –at the age of 21—to be responsible for not only her two four year old twins but also her 16-year old sister. Ashley and Alaney’s parents were in an accident about five years ago, leaving Ashley with custody of Alaney at age 17. All the responsibility led to her drinking and doing drugs, both of which are provided to her by her most recent boyfriend Ruben.

Anyway, they live down the street from me and come over some. Annalyn and Annalee play with Colton while Alaney helps me around the house. When I need her to, she even watches the boys for me. She was a great kid; life just dealt her a bad hand.

“Starr, why are you so adamant on helping these kids?”

“Why would you ask me that, Brian?” I asked, turning onto West Point Avenue.

“I’m just wondering,” I heard him sigh. “I don’t understand why you’re acting like you’re their mother. You’re not, Starr,”

“No, Brian, I’m not, but I’m the closest thing Alaney has.” I growled. “You wouldn’t understand. Papa Gates and Suzy spoiled you with love and care growing up. They gave you everything, Brian. You, Brent, and McKenna are lucky to have them.” I sighed, gripping the steering wheel tighter than I should have. “I know how Alaney feels because my mom left when I was younger and my dad didn’t give two shits about me. I didn’t have anyone to help me through those times, Brian. I refuse to let Alaney and her nieces go through what I went through, if I can help them myself.”

“I thought you had a great relationship with your dad,”

I licked my lips, trying to be careful with my words. “Um, well, I did,” I couldn’t bring myself to open up and tell him the truth about my father—I just couldn’t.

“You did . . . ?”

“I haven’t talked to him in years so it doesn’t matter.”

“Why?” He questioned. “Why haven’t you talked to him in years?”

Before I could stop it, my mouth was open and speaking of its own accord. “He disowned me.”