If I stay

“No! No!” my small, whispered voice carried in the empty house as the phone dropped from my shaking hands.
No. It couldn’t be true. They didn’t leave me. They couldn’t have. They were just at Kristy’s soccer game. They were coming home. It was raining and traffic would be horrible at this hour. Three o’clock is always a bad time. They were coming home. They were just late. I knew it.
But my confidence in that knowledge wavered as I caught snippets from the voice in the phone.
“Car….. drunk….. red light…… on impact…. Stand a chance….didn’t suffer…..with us.” Carefully, I bent down and retrieved the phone from the black and white checked kitchen tiles, my shaking hands making it difficult to grab the small cordless receiver.
“I’m sorry.” I said slowly into the oval piece of plastic that had held a part in shattering my world, “but can you repeat that?”
“Miss Addisyn! You must pay attention, dear. I know this is hard. I know. But right now you have to listen to me. Hold on to my voice. We’re coming to your house sweetie. We’re coming. We’re going to help you through this. But, right now… sweetie right now you have to pack. Get your sister, pack up her things and then pack yours. We’re coming, honey.” The kind female officer with whom I was speaking was confusing me. She was sweet and nice and overall slightly comforting but right now I only needed one person. I didn’t understand why I had to pack or where my sister and I would be going, but, in my catatonic state, I wasn’t going to question her.
“Okay.” I told her. “Okay.” And then I hung up.
I was trembling as I made my way upstairs and down the hall into the pastel pink cocoon that was my baby sister’s nursery.
Stepping quietly into the walk in closet, I grabbed Ashlynn’s Strawberry Shortcake suitcases and filled them with her clothes, shoes and toys. Twenty minutes later and I was done, rolling the cases and setting them right outside the door before heading to wake up my sister.
“Ash.” I shook the one and a half year old baby a bit, trying to rouse her from her afternoon nap. “Ashy, babe. Come on, sweetheart, you’ve gotta get up now.” When she didn’t do anything other then stick her little pink thumb in her mouth, I sighed and picked up the small blonde child, bringing her with me into my room.
Setting Ashlynn down on my large green bed, I walked to my closet and packed all my own clothes and little keepsakes that I would want wherever I was going. After I finished, I checked on my sister and rushed into Kristy’s room and packed all of her stuff, setting it just outside the door as I had done to Ashlynn’s.
It had been about forty five minutes since I had hung up the phone and as I was walking back to my room, a knock rang through the hollow house. Walking into my room, I grabbed Ashlynn and settled her in my arms before making my way down the stairs and opening the door.
I opened it slowly, cautiously and sighed to myself as I saw the two police on the other side of the oaken barrier.
“Addisyn? Sweetie, I’m Officer Lucy. Can I explain everything to you?” Officer Lucy was treating me as if I was no older then the sleeping child in my arms but for some odd reason, I was glad. In some random part of my brain, way in the back, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to understand anything else. I get easily confused and in this case, I was even more liable to miscomprehend something.
Slowly, I backed away from the door, leaving it open for the officers, and made my way to the living room. There, I shifted Ashlynn so that she was lying in my lap, still sucking away on her now wrinkled thumb, completely unaware, and settled myself into a large chair that faced the loveseat where the officers had taken refuge.
“So, sweetheart, I’m just going to say it, alright? I don’t have any better ways.” Officer Lucy waited for a look of understanding or recognition to cross my features and, after a few seconds where she got neither, she continued.
“Your parents are dead. There was a drunk driver coming towards them at the light on Lombardy. It was raining so hard. They couldn’t see him coming. I’m sorry, Addisyn. So sorry.” Officer Lucy looked at me with pity in her eyes, but at the moment, all I registered was a missing piece of information.
“What about Kristy? Where is my sister? What happened to her?” If not for the baby in my arms, I would have been screaming and kicking, breaking everything in sight. If not for the baby in my arms, I would have gotten up and shaken the uniformed people who were too stupid to tell me what I really needed to hear. If not for the baby in my arms, I would be alone. Instead, I simply lowered my head and let the tears cascade down my already too pale face.
“Addisyn… Addisyn, sweetie, your sister is in a coma. Things aren’t looking too good right now. She may not wake up but, if by some miracle, she does, she may be paralyzed. Her legs are shattered. The doctors have reconstructed them very well but we don’t know how her nerves were affected. Only time will tell.”
As Officer Lucy looked at me with pity splashed across her face, I could only think of the small, red headed child that was lying in a hospital bed. I could only think of my eleven year old sister, the one who loved soccer and basketball more then anything, sitting in a wheel chair for the rest of her life. That is, if she woke up. Sitting in my father’s favorite chair, with my baby sister in my arms, I could only think about myself. Could only picture my future. Could only wonder what was going to happen in my life.
My parents were dead. One of my sisters was in a coma, the other clutched tightly in my arms like the lifeline she was. And I could only wonder what would happen to me. We had no living relatives, so surely we were going to be put in an orphanage. My sisters would get adopted and we would separate if it came to that, but I would be left. No one would want over protective fifteen year old Addisyn Delilah Hatchmen.
Ashlynn would have no problem finding a home. She was a blooming, bouncing and buoyant. The small blonde child was a younger version of Goldilocks, only without the stupidity. Parents would be leaping to adopt Ashlynn Rose, the one and a half year old Sleeping Beauty.
Kristy would surely find parents. She was smart and outgoing, a tomboy on her best day. The eleven year old bombshell stuck out like a sore thumb, only in the best possible way. Her firey red hair and prominent freckles made her cute and innocent even though she could be the most devilish of children. Khrysanthemum Olivia would be a great addition to any family.
But then there was me.
I had black hair, a slightly snubbed nose and large pouty lips. I was the weird one, the freak, seeing as no one knew how two blonde parents could end up with a charcoal haired child. I had my mother’s ice blue eyes, which often caused people to shy away from my apparently intimidating stature. My ears were each pierced three times. The left lobe having three holes going up the out rim of my ear and the right only having two, the third residing up in my curled cartilage. My nails were always black, green, blue, or purple, depending on the day and my mood. I dressed scene, always in a pair of skinny jeans and a bright tee shirt. My eyes were constantly done up in massive amounts of eyeliner and silver grey shadow and my hair was always straightened. No right minded people would choose someone like me over the typical high school preps that I was sure would reside in the community home I was about reside in.
As I was sitting there, contemplating my situation while grasping onto the only thing that kept me in place and steady, I pictured the future. Ash off playing with friends as her parents looked on, proud. Kristy with her crutches or wheel chair, chasing after her friends as they helped her do what she loved best. I could easily see my sisters’ future. It was my own that gave me trouble.