If I stay

Two weeks have passed since my sisters and I arrived at the Boston Orphanage. And trust me, it’s been two weeks of hell. That prep I mentioned? Morgan? Yeah. She hates me. Although I’d say ‘hate’ is an understatement. I’m pretty much the bane of her existence. As is Khrysty. Why? Well, because the couple looking to adopt Morgan are now looking at Khrysty. They’re coming today for finalities and to make sure that this is what they want and what’s best for Khrys. I just hope it’s not.
“Lilah?” Darcy woke me from my fitful sleep, slightly bouncing on the California King size bed that Darcy, Khrysty and I had chosen to share over all of us having our own beds. I was on the outer edge next to Darcy and a mere foot away from Ashlynn’s crib.
I looked up into Darcy’s celery eyes and smiled at her shy nature. After a few days, Darc had warmed up to my sisters and me, claiming us as her family.
“Yeah, baby?” I asked, tilting my head so I could peck her cheek, while also checking on Ashlynn and stealing a quick glance at the digital clock on my nightstand. Eight thirty AM was lit up in electric green on the small, black screen.
Shit. It was time to get ready for Khrysty’s final interview. “It’s time to get Livies ready.” Darcy squeaked in her tinkling soprano. “Okay, baby. Will you go get her dark green dress and black shoes, please Fia? I need to get her teeth and hair brushed before we get her dressed.”
Darcy nodded and bounced off the bed, landing with wobbly precision as she had done every morning since she had gotten comfortable around us.
I yawned and crawled over to my sister, who was sound asleep on the far side of the bed.
“Liv. You’ve gotta get up now, babe. I gotta get you ready for that interview. Wakey wakey, sweetheart.” Khrysty groaned as I pulled her off the bed and into her chair, wheeling her into our bathroom as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
After brushing her teeth and hair, I got Krhysty into the pretty jade dress I had remembered to bring from home.
It was soft, matte silk with two large ruffles lining the v shaped neckline. A white, skinny, patent leather belt wound around her waste and a cream cardigan had its sleeves pushed up to right below her elbows. Just as I was finishing putting a black patent leather bow headband in her hair, the door opened and Kenz stuck her head through the small sliver of space.
“Knock knock! Khrysty, the Williamsons are here. I’m taking them into the interview right now. I want you down there in fifteen minutes so we can have a chat all together. Okay? Okay!” A way to perky Kenz backed out of our door as I quickly pulled on blue skinnys and a red flowy shirt. I quickly brushed my teeth and pulled my hair into a simple ponytail. Eyeliner was my only makeup as I quickly got Ashlynn dressed and checked on Darcy. When we were all ready, we headed downstairs with Ashlynn on Khrysty’s lap and Darcy on my back.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
After the interview, it had been made legal. Khrysty was now a Williamson. We were sitting up in our room as I quickly packed all of Khrysty’s stuff.
“I’m going to miss you, Liv. I love you so much. I love you so much.” Both of us were crying, tears creating angry red ribbons streaming from our eyes.
“But I don’t want to go! I don’t want to leave you guys! You’re all I have! I don’t want to have a new family. You’re my family. I don’t need another one. I don’t want another one! Lilah! Don’t make me go! Please. Please don’t make me go.” My sister broke down in sobs, curling in on herself in her chair.
And as much as I wanted there to be, there was nothing I could do. Nothing I could do to stop from ripping my family apart further. Nothing I could do to keep from loosing one of the most important people in my world. There was simply nothing I could do.
But part of me was glad.
Khrysty deserved so much more then this. She deserved so much more then the single room that we all shared. So much more then the almost ineffective pain meds she still had to take. So much more then this place and the few things it had to offer.
And I wanted that for her.
Trust me, I did. I wanted her to be able to get around without anybody’s help. I wanted her to have all the clothes and toys she desired. I wanted her to have a future. I wanted her to feel loved, cared for. Protected. And I knew I couldn’t do any of that here. I knew that I couldn’t do any of that period. James and Maria Williamson could.
So as I sat on our oversize bed, comforting my sister as well as I could, I knew that this was what was best for her. Knew that this could be what saved her. Knew that this is what she needed, what she deserved.
But more then anything, I knew that I wanted her here with me. And I knew that I could never tell a soul of my selfish desires, could never act on them.
Because Khrysty was more important then I was. More important by a long shot.
That was just how things were.