So Long and Goodnight
o2 of o5
I stare in silence at the kid in front of me.
"So are you my tutor or something?"
He sounds nervous. I sneer at him.
"I have no intention of teaching some stupid freshman."
He looks surprised and defensive.
"It's not like I want to be here either. My mom.." He trails off.
"Oh," I say, trying not to think of how horrible I'm being. "She forced you to be here? You just do whatever she wants?"
For a moment, he looks like nothing but a hurt and vulnerable little kid and I could swear there are tears in his round green eyes. Then he gets angry and fixes me with a formidable death glare.
"I don't need this shit," he growls and turns his back to me. But the moment he's not facing me anymore, his shoulders droop. I'm paralyzed by guilt. Before I can consider the consequences of what I'm about the do, I cross the room and sit down next to him.
"So what's your name?" I ask in a resigned voice. If this change in attitude confuses him, he doesn't let on.
"Frank."
"I'm Gerard."
"Ah."
"So uh..why do you need tutoring?"
"I don't."
"Good, cause I don't think I can teach all that well."
He nods.
"Yeah, from what I've seen of you, you should definitely stay away from children."
I laugh a little, surprised.
"Sorry. I just..get like that sometimes."
"Why?" Frank asks simply.
"I don't know," I lie. "It's just a thing. Why are you wearing that hoodie?"
He actually blushes a little.
"You know you like it," he says easily. I'm kind of surprised that ten minutes ago I was practically making him cry and now we're joking around, but somehow it feels right.
We end up talking for the rest of the time he's supposed to be tutored. When the hour and a half is up, he gets up to leave.
Before he does, he turns to me, looking hopeful.
"Are we doing this every week?"
"That's the plan."
For a moment he grins unguardedly at me, and his green eyes light up.
I find myself thinking how pretty they are, and mentally slap myself.
Sexually harassing innocent freshmen is not the way to get over a breakup.
"You may be an evil bastard, but I'm kind of glad you're 'tutoring' me," Frank says suddenly, looking nervous. Thinking of a way to respond to that, I stay quiet for a few seconds. He looks agonized.
"Was that creepy? That was creepy, huh? I'm sorry. I won't say it again."
"And you may be a creepy freshman," I reply, "but I'm glad too.
He looks relieved.
I stay after he leaves the room, making an attempt to work some more on the lyrics I was writing before he came in. But my brain is too far gone with this Frank kid now. Why did it bother me so much to be mean to him? After me and Jon broke up, I had no problem being evil to the world without a second thought. Maybe it had something to do with the way he didn't seem to hide his emotions. He was happy talking to me, for whatever reason, and he let me know it.
That didn't happen very often.
"So are you my tutor or something?"
He sounds nervous. I sneer at him.
"I have no intention of teaching some stupid freshman."
He looks surprised and defensive.
"It's not like I want to be here either. My mom.." He trails off.
"Oh," I say, trying not to think of how horrible I'm being. "She forced you to be here? You just do whatever she wants?"
For a moment, he looks like nothing but a hurt and vulnerable little kid and I could swear there are tears in his round green eyes. Then he gets angry and fixes me with a formidable death glare.
"I don't need this shit," he growls and turns his back to me. But the moment he's not facing me anymore, his shoulders droop. I'm paralyzed by guilt. Before I can consider the consequences of what I'm about the do, I cross the room and sit down next to him.
"So what's your name?" I ask in a resigned voice. If this change in attitude confuses him, he doesn't let on.
"Frank."
"I'm Gerard."
"Ah."
"So uh..why do you need tutoring?"
"I don't."
"Good, cause I don't think I can teach all that well."
He nods.
"Yeah, from what I've seen of you, you should definitely stay away from children."
I laugh a little, surprised.
"Sorry. I just..get like that sometimes."
"Why?" Frank asks simply.
"I don't know," I lie. "It's just a thing. Why are you wearing that hoodie?"
He actually blushes a little.
"You know you like it," he says easily. I'm kind of surprised that ten minutes ago I was practically making him cry and now we're joking around, but somehow it feels right.
We end up talking for the rest of the time he's supposed to be tutored. When the hour and a half is up, he gets up to leave.
Before he does, he turns to me, looking hopeful.
"Are we doing this every week?"
"That's the plan."
For a moment he grins unguardedly at me, and his green eyes light up.
I find myself thinking how pretty they are, and mentally slap myself.
Sexually harassing innocent freshmen is not the way to get over a breakup.
"You may be an evil bastard, but I'm kind of glad you're 'tutoring' me," Frank says suddenly, looking nervous. Thinking of a way to respond to that, I stay quiet for a few seconds. He looks agonized.
"Was that creepy? That was creepy, huh? I'm sorry. I won't say it again."
"And you may be a creepy freshman," I reply, "but I'm glad too.
He looks relieved.
I stay after he leaves the room, making an attempt to work some more on the lyrics I was writing before he came in. But my brain is too far gone with this Frank kid now. Why did it bother me so much to be mean to him? After me and Jon broke up, I had no problem being evil to the world without a second thought. Maybe it had something to do with the way he didn't seem to hide his emotions. He was happy talking to me, for whatever reason, and he let me know it.
That didn't happen very often.