So Long and Goodnight

One Month Later..
As the final bell rings, I swing my backpack over my shoulder and head down to the tutoring room. Through the glass pane in the door, I can see that Frank is there waiting for me, making funny faces at nothing in particular.
I duck my head and smile, and then step into the room. His face lights up. My stomach flutters. I pretend not to notice.
"Hey Gerard!"
"Hey, Frank."
I cross the room so I'm sitting next to him. Then, I turn to him.
"So, whaddyou have on today?" His intense love of rather strange clothes and frequent use of the colour pink are a source of great interest to me. He grins and hops down from his chair. Today he's wearing a tight-fitting black and white striped T-shirt, ripped-up skinny jeans, and plain black Converse. For him, this is bland. I raise an eyebrow and tell him so. He grins and motions for me to come closer. I comply, and he shows me a wristband with a small pink tiara on it.
"Typical," I mutter. The smile he gives me is unguarded and goes straight to his eyes. The twinge in the pit of my stomach is unavoidable.
But perhaps I should explain.
After the first session, a tentative friendship had formed between us. Gradually, we started talking about more and more personal things, until eventually we were telling each other secrets that nobody else knew. And maybe, from that, it's possible I have developed some feelings for Frank. But it was important that he never, ever knew about that. I can't be in another relationship. After Jon..I just can't.
And who's to say Frank would have me anyway?
But I push all this from my mind and listen to him when he tells me stuff about his day.
After we've caught each other up, we sit in a reflective silence. Eventually, Frank turns his head, so he's looking at my profile. Then, he scoots a little closer. My heart beats a little faster.
I fight to keep my eyes straight ahead.
"Gerard?" His voice is kind of hushed.
"Mmh?" I grunt.
"Thank you for listening to me."
I break down and turn to him. I focus on his long black eyelashes instead of his sincere expression.
I don't like where this is going.
"N-no problem,"I tell him, voice cracking a little.
"It means a lot," he whispers. I try to edge away. Desire and curiosity root me to my spot.
Suddenly, his face is very close to my own. He's so near I can imagine almost perfectly what it would be like to kiss him. He hovers in that place, and then I don't have to imagine anymore. His fingers sneak up and clutch at the collar of my shirt, nudging me forward the half-centimetre it takes for our lips to meet. The kiss is soft and deep and I never, ever want it to stop.
But still, it's me that pulls away, stumbles in getting up from my chair, wipes my mouth with the back of my hand.
"I-I think the time's up. I think you have to go."
Still breathing heavily, he looks at me for a few seconds. His face for once unreadable, he nods and leaves without a word. I stare at where he used to be, and realize he's left his wristband. I pick it up and slowly put it in my pocket. I stay in the room until I'm sure I won't run into him on the way out. Then, I drive home, thinking of anything but him. I reach my house, barely noticing that the door was unlocked, even though I was sure I'd locked it this morning. I trudge up to my room and attempt to flop on my bed. But there already seems to be someone it it. Cautiously, I pull back the blanket.
And there's Kayla.
I poke her in the shoulder. She wakes up and smiles at me dreamily.
"Oh, hey Gee. Back so soon?"
"Kayla, do I really want to know the reason you're sleeping in my bed?"
"It's Pizza Night, stupid. You were at that tutoring thing, so I thought I'd wait for you." As usual, she was right. It was Pizza Night.
"Oh. Right." No problem. I'd just fake some smiles for a few hours until she left.
"Now," she says in a buisnesslike tone, sitting up in bed. "Why don't you drop that bullshit happy face and tell me what happened."
Ah. I should've known it wouldn't be that easy. Kayla has been my best friend since preschool, and she knows me better than anyone. Resigned, I remove my shoes and jacket and climb into bed with her. She offers me an iPod headphone and I accept before resting my head on her shoulder. None of this is anything new-we've been using each other for stuffed animals for years.
"What happened GeeGee?" She uses my dreaded elementary school nickname because she knows I'm too distraught to care.
"He kissed me."
"Who did?"
"Frank."
"And you don't know how to let him down easy?"
"I don't want to let him down easy. I liked it."
"Then why do you look so upset."
"Jon," I mumble miserably. She lets out a long, sharp breath.
"That bastard. Listen Gerard, you guys are over. You can't let him keep doing this to you."
"I'm trying," I say in a small voice. Kayla's angry look softens.
"I know Gee. But he doesn't."
I nod. I remember my first kiss with a guy, the sense of surprise when I realized I was actually going to kiss him, the anxious half-second before he kissed back when anything could've happened. Jon.
"If you care about this Frank guy, then why should Jon be able to take that away from you? He's not ever here." Kayla tells me.
She's right. He's not.
And with that, I resolve not to let him fuck anything up for me anymore.
I like Frank a lot, and even if he laughs in my face after what I did to him, I plan to tell him so.