Status: active
The Tease
I See Life In Technicolor
SOPHIE POINT OF VIEW
I was in the bus. AGAIN. I knew I had been ignoring everyone and shutting myself out from everyone, but I felt it easier to deal with the pain that way. After I had ended it with Oli, I had never experienced pain like that before. It was the roughest moment of my life, and I chose to not share it with anyone. I had considered leaving Warped and spending time with my family and taking a break from the scene. But, I couldn’t. I could not and would not let my band mates down like that. They were having the time of their lives and I loved them enough to know that they loved it here, and I would not take that away from them. I knew it was pathetic and I knew everyone was worried. I found it incredibly tough to go on with my day after faking my way through my sets and seeing fans. Hiding was easier, and I embraced it.
In hiding, nobody would bring anything up and I was left alone to think about my thoughts. Silence was my new best friend. Ironic, I know. Silence and Sophie never matched up, until my heart was broken.
Tonight, everyone was at Dennys. I was snuggling my Nemo pillow and staring at the wall. My computer dinged and I opened it up to see that I had a new email. It was from my Mom asking how I was. I typed back some bullshit email about how much fun I was having and how great everything was. My mom didn’t have to worry about me, especially when I was halfway across the country. I wouldn’t inflict that pain on her as well.
I found myself searching through my Documents. I fell across a folder of Oli and I and I looked through them quietly, my heart dropping down in my stomach as every new image filled my computer screen. We looked so happy and so in love, like nothing else in the world mattered. I had considered several times if ending it with Oli was the right thing to do, but every time I thought of the pain he had caused and the fact that his lips had been on another girl, always told me I had done the right thing.
I then googled his name. I don’t know why, or what impulsed me to do so, but I did.
“The newly single Oli is out and about, snatch him while you can ladies!” caught my attention and I clicked it. I closed my eyes briefly, and opened them prepared to see what was awaiting me.
Pictures of Oli hooking up with random girls and partying like crazy filled my screen. He looked like he was having the time of his life and he had photos in several different parties. Realization hit me like a brick.
I had been hurt and I was wasting away my summer.
He had done the hurting, and was having the summer of his life.
I felt so STUPID at that moment I couldn’t describe it. Life would continue, if I liked it or not. I wasn’t going to waste it away over someone who didn’t deserve my tears. I was going to suck it up and have fun.
Soon, Oli would be the one crying.
I was in the bus. AGAIN. I knew I had been ignoring everyone and shutting myself out from everyone, but I felt it easier to deal with the pain that way. After I had ended it with Oli, I had never experienced pain like that before. It was the roughest moment of my life, and I chose to not share it with anyone. I had considered leaving Warped and spending time with my family and taking a break from the scene. But, I couldn’t. I could not and would not let my band mates down like that. They were having the time of their lives and I loved them enough to know that they loved it here, and I would not take that away from them. I knew it was pathetic and I knew everyone was worried. I found it incredibly tough to go on with my day after faking my way through my sets and seeing fans. Hiding was easier, and I embraced it.
In hiding, nobody would bring anything up and I was left alone to think about my thoughts. Silence was my new best friend. Ironic, I know. Silence and Sophie never matched up, until my heart was broken.
Tonight, everyone was at Dennys. I was snuggling my Nemo pillow and staring at the wall. My computer dinged and I opened it up to see that I had a new email. It was from my Mom asking how I was. I typed back some bullshit email about how much fun I was having and how great everything was. My mom didn’t have to worry about me, especially when I was halfway across the country. I wouldn’t inflict that pain on her as well.
I found myself searching through my Documents. I fell across a folder of Oli and I and I looked through them quietly, my heart dropping down in my stomach as every new image filled my computer screen. We looked so happy and so in love, like nothing else in the world mattered. I had considered several times if ending it with Oli was the right thing to do, but every time I thought of the pain he had caused and the fact that his lips had been on another girl, always told me I had done the right thing.
I then googled his name. I don’t know why, or what impulsed me to do so, but I did.
“The newly single Oli is out and about, snatch him while you can ladies!” caught my attention and I clicked it. I closed my eyes briefly, and opened them prepared to see what was awaiting me.
Pictures of Oli hooking up with random girls and partying like crazy filled my screen. He looked like he was having the time of his life and he had photos in several different parties. Realization hit me like a brick.
I had been hurt and I was wasting away my summer.
He had done the hurting, and was having the summer of his life.
I felt so STUPID at that moment I couldn’t describe it. Life would continue, if I liked it or not. I wasn’t going to waste it away over someone who didn’t deserve my tears. I was going to suck it up and have fun.
Soon, Oli would be the one crying.