Status: Completed....
Dear Phoenix
Dear Phoenix
Dear Phoenix,
You know me, right? Right? Wrong. You don’t have a clue about me, so why do you insist on acting like it all the time? You walk around looking down on me because of who you think I am. I’m not. I know who you think I am and I’m not happy with the way you see me. Think back a couple years and then think why I am the way I am. I tried to be myself with you, but you rejected that me so now I’ll be a different side of me. I sit next to you when you talk to your friends and stifle my laughs at what you said, knowing I’m not invited into the joke. Do you know how many times I bite my tongue to stop from saying something and intruding your peace? You can keep right on thinking I’m shy and quiet when I’m not. That at least keeps us at peace. Maybe. And maybe I’ll show my true self to you again, and maybe not. I’m me with my friends, why can’t I be me for you too? You don’t want to know me. You’d be happy if I just disappeared and was never seen in these here parts ever again. Would you even notice I was gone? Course you would. You would’ve lost your favorite butt of all jokes. You’d miss me since I wouldn’t be the outcast anymore, the social reject. You so quaintly bumped me out of society a couple years ago, and thinking back now, I’m glad you did. I’ve learned to live without you. I found true friends. I see the way you treat others. Talking behind their backs, spreading rumors that couldn’t even have a hint of truth, and I don’t want a part in it. I know what you say about me behind my back. You think I’m useless and a worthless piece of crap, right? And then say you know me.
You say you know what I’ve gone through in the last two years and you don’t have a clue. I lost a best friend, she moved, yes. How could that effect someone to the point they disappeared for a couple days. Oh, you thought I was sick, that’s it. You didn’t realize I’d gone seven and a half hours away from you for a funeral. That’s your problem. And now you’ve sent someone else away from me. What the hell is your problem? Are you out to get me? Are you out to get the one person who came to this flipping place because she wanted to and not because she was forced? The one person who wanted to come to this place where everyone wants to be. You painted such a pretty picture, but you were hiding the dark spots. You hid them so well and I was young and naïve and fell into the trap. And then you come right back around and bite my ass off for liking it here. I’ve learned the difference between this place and a hell-hole. There isnt’. You made me lose a best friend and then you didn’t care what I feel. You wont’ care when I walk in with puffy red eyes tomorrow and sniffle every two seconds because of what you’ve caused. It won’t even dim your conscience a little bit. You’ll brush away the dark spot like every other one there ever was. You don’t know how deeply you hurt people like me. The innocent ones. The ones that nothing goes right in the first place, and then you screw things over even more.
You label people and expect others to like you. You expect people to come crawling back to you when they get hurt. You can’t live like that forever. You need to figure out who you are and leave others alone. You can’t always expect everyone to love your backstabbing ways forever. You’re going to get hurt, and I’m going to laugh when you do because you don’t have a clue how much I’ve been hurt sicne we split ways. We still see each other and walk next ot each other and live near each other, but the two worlds are so separated. There was a schism two years ago that normally patches itself after time, but we’ve been getting further and further apart as you lie about me, and I only speak the thruth. Maybe that’s where we lost it. You lied and I told the truth. I’m leaving and you can’t stop me. Try, but you won’t be able to. You’re done pushing me away as I try to cling to what might have bee. I’m done being naïve about it.
Sayonara
You know me, right? Right? Wrong. You don’t have a clue about me, so why do you insist on acting like it all the time? You walk around looking down on me because of who you think I am. I’m not. I know who you think I am and I’m not happy with the way you see me. Think back a couple years and then think why I am the way I am. I tried to be myself with you, but you rejected that me so now I’ll be a different side of me. I sit next to you when you talk to your friends and stifle my laughs at what you said, knowing I’m not invited into the joke. Do you know how many times I bite my tongue to stop from saying something and intruding your peace? You can keep right on thinking I’m shy and quiet when I’m not. That at least keeps us at peace. Maybe. And maybe I’ll show my true self to you again, and maybe not. I’m me with my friends, why can’t I be me for you too? You don’t want to know me. You’d be happy if I just disappeared and was never seen in these here parts ever again. Would you even notice I was gone? Course you would. You would’ve lost your favorite butt of all jokes. You’d miss me since I wouldn’t be the outcast anymore, the social reject. You so quaintly bumped me out of society a couple years ago, and thinking back now, I’m glad you did. I’ve learned to live without you. I found true friends. I see the way you treat others. Talking behind their backs, spreading rumors that couldn’t even have a hint of truth, and I don’t want a part in it. I know what you say about me behind my back. You think I’m useless and a worthless piece of crap, right? And then say you know me.
You say you know what I’ve gone through in the last two years and you don’t have a clue. I lost a best friend, she moved, yes. How could that effect someone to the point they disappeared for a couple days. Oh, you thought I was sick, that’s it. You didn’t realize I’d gone seven and a half hours away from you for a funeral. That’s your problem. And now you’ve sent someone else away from me. What the hell is your problem? Are you out to get me? Are you out to get the one person who came to this flipping place because she wanted to and not because she was forced? The one person who wanted to come to this place where everyone wants to be. You painted such a pretty picture, but you were hiding the dark spots. You hid them so well and I was young and naïve and fell into the trap. And then you come right back around and bite my ass off for liking it here. I’ve learned the difference between this place and a hell-hole. There isnt’. You made me lose a best friend and then you didn’t care what I feel. You wont’ care when I walk in with puffy red eyes tomorrow and sniffle every two seconds because of what you’ve caused. It won’t even dim your conscience a little bit. You’ll brush away the dark spot like every other one there ever was. You don’t know how deeply you hurt people like me. The innocent ones. The ones that nothing goes right in the first place, and then you screw things over even more.
You label people and expect others to like you. You expect people to come crawling back to you when they get hurt. You can’t live like that forever. You need to figure out who you are and leave others alone. You can’t always expect everyone to love your backstabbing ways forever. You’re going to get hurt, and I’m going to laugh when you do because you don’t have a clue how much I’ve been hurt sicne we split ways. We still see each other and walk next ot each other and live near each other, but the two worlds are so separated. There was a schism two years ago that normally patches itself after time, but we’ve been getting further and further apart as you lie about me, and I only speak the thruth. Maybe that’s where we lost it. You lied and I told the truth. I’m leaving and you can’t stop me. Try, but you won’t be able to. You’re done pushing me away as I try to cling to what might have bee. I’m done being naïve about it.
Sayonara