All We Are

The next morning, when I woke up and went downstairs, Katie and Jesse were both waiting for me in the kitchen. Jude wasn’t awake yet. Breakfast was on the table, and I helped myself to a plate. They waited for me to sit down before speaking.

“We’ve posted your brother’s bail. Jesse and I are going to pick him up later today. Kurt’s going to be staying with us for the night, but first thing tomorrow morning he’ll be going to the best rehab center in the state. They’ll help get Kurt back on his feet again,” Katie said.

“Thank you,” I said softly. “You have no idea how much this means to me, and I’m sure Kurt will be just as grateful.”

Katie smiled at me. “Eat up; you don’t want your food to get cold.”

I nodded and began eating. Once I was finished, I tried to read for a little bit, but I couldn’t pay attention. A little while later, Jude walked into the room.

“Have you seen my parents?” he asked.

“They went to go get Kurt,” I said, setting my book in my lap.

“He’s coming home? Or I mean here?” Jude asked, sitting down across from me.

I nodded. “He’s going to rehab tomorrow though.”

“That’s good though, right?”

I nodded again. “It’s what he needs. I hope he gets clean and stays clean.”

We were silent for a few minutes, and I almost picked my book back up, but Jude spoke again. “I don’t know how you do it Willow.”

“Do what?” I asked.

“I’ve seen you lose your cool like once since you got here. I don’t know how you keep your chill, how you’re not screaming and ripping your hair out. You’re going through so much, and it can’t be easy. I can’t even imagine going through what you are.”

The sincerity in his voice penetrated through the wall I’d so carefully constructed. His face looked so concerned and genuine. Before I could help it, the wall came crumbling down, and a few tears escaped. Quickly, I swiped them away, but not before Jude saw.

“I’m so sorry,” he said hurriedly. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He seemed genuinely repentant and his brown eyes were full of remorse for making me cry.

“No, I’m sorry,” I said, trying to stop the water-works. “I shouldn’t be crying.”

“Shouldn’t be crying?” Jude scoffed. “Willow you have every right to cry. If you want to cry, go right ahead. Don’t let me stop you. And if you need a shoulder to cry on, well I’m here.”

“You mean it?” I asked. I was unable to stop the moisture from coursing down my face. I didn’t want to seem like a crybaby, but it felt so good to finally cry uninhibited for once.

He nodded and patted his shoulder. “My shoulder is your tissue, should you wish it.”

Through my tears, I laughed. “Thanks Jude. That really means a lot.” I wiped the last of my tears away and smiled, a true genuine smile, at him.

“Need a hug?” he asked, a hint of true concern glimmered behind his playfulness.

I chuckled. “Sure.”

Jude stood up and pulled me out of my chair before folding me into a hug. His strong, warm arms wrapped around me, and I felt safe. I laid my head against his shoulder and wound my arms around his torso. It was the most secure that I’d felt since my parents’ death, and possibly even before that. Warmth pooled into my stomach, and I never wanted the moment to end. But just as quickly as it started, it was over, and Jude was pulling away. I loosened my hold on him and stepped back.

“Thanks,” I said again. I wondered if he could see my blush.

“No problem,” he said, grinning, seemingly oblivious to the war my emotions were raging inside of me.