Love Found in a Pile of Lies

I had suffered through two weeks of uneventful bullshit. Wake up, go to school, leave school, go to Jessa's apartment, get high, go home. Rinse and repeat.

Every night I came home was living hell. My sleep was interrupted nearly every night by vulgar curses shouted at the top of my mother's lungs and endless moaning. Just the thing any teenage girl in her right mind loves to hear, right? Not.

There wasn't a day where my mother didn't lecture me on how I dressed, what I did when I wasn't home, how slobby I was, or anything else she could pick at. Name a fault of mine, she rants about it.

Maybe one day I'd work up the guts to stand up to her. Probably not.

Tonight I was going to deal with my problems, not with confrontation, but by drowning my sorrows away in sweet, sweet, vodka.

Jess and I were sitting in my car. I was driving. She was blurting out the lyrics to a popular pop song on the radio, as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. It was the middle of May and very hot out. My sweaty, bare thighs stuck to the leather upholstery of my mustang, forcing me to fidget every few minutes to unstick them.

The wind bursting into the car from the windows blew mine and Jessa's hair in every which direction, and the air conditioner blasted at our feet. I've been told that it's pointless to have AC on with the windows open, but at that point I didn't care. Anything to stay cool in this unbearable weather.

I went to turn the dial up even more to increase to cold air flow when Jess slapped my hand away.

"I'm freaking freezing in here, no more. Why the hell are you sweating so much, anyways? I mean, it's hot out, but really?"

"Why am I sweating so much? Why are you sweating so little?" I snapped. My eyes narrowed on the road as I fought back a wave of heat that threatened to wash over my body. My face went to the right as I heard my best friend sigh.

Jessa pressed her lips in a tight line and flashed me a concerned gaze.

"Are you okay? Something bugging you?"

I chuckled harshly. "No. Nothing. Why would anything be bugging me? My life is great, and we're about to get wasted."

"Is it your mom?"

My hands gripped and un-gripped tightly on the tough steering wheel as I swallowed audibly. "No."

Jess looked at me knowingly, running a hand through her wavy cocoa hair. She exhaled deeply. "Mollie... You know there's no secrets between us. You can talk to me. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the world that won't judge you."

With those words, my defensive wall that I had spent time building all day crumbled. Tiny rivers cascaded down my face, and soft sobs left my mouth.

Jessa rubbed gentle circles into my back. "Pull over, girl," she whispered softly. "You can't drive like this."

I kept going until I saw a safe spot on the side of the road to pull into. It was a small parking lot, scarce of any cars. Tiny bits of trash littered the rocky gravel that was framed by a thin layer of yellow grass and weeds.

"What's up?" my best friend asked, simply.

"I don't even know, really, Jess... I just can't handle any of this shit anymore. Getting yelled at every night, creepy men coming and going from my house, entering my fucking bedroom, living in a shit hole. I can't do it! I just can't."

"Mollie, I told you that you can come live with me at any time... My place is small, but I have a spare bedroom."

Despite the tears running from my eyes, I laughed. "That's not a room, Jess, it's a closet."

She smiled sheepishly before reaching her hand out to wipe the tears off my face. Her fingers felt soothing on my skin. I was like a baby being calmed by it's mother.

"A closet is better than a hell hole," she whispered, smiling.

My eyes shut tightly and I took a deep breath. "You're right," I exhaled. "I need change, but not yet. I need to stand up to her or something before I leave. It has to be dramatic." I chuckled a bit and the mood lifted as Jessa joined in with me.

"Okay, but if when you're ready, just text me. I'll be there."

I enveloped Jess in a tight hug and nestled my face into the crook of her shoulder. I could smell her strawberry scented shampoo and felt more relaxed than I have been all week.

She was the true definition of a best friend.



I sneaked into my house later that night to grab my things. Loud pants could be heard from my mother's room so there was probably no reason to creep around, but I was better safe than sorry.

My feet carefully padded down the narrow hardwood hall towards my bedroom door and I turned the handle as slowly as possible, as if I was deactivating a bomb and the slightest wrong move could ruin everything I had worked for.

Thankfully, the handle turning went without a hitch; no creaks, no jiggling, just a perfect turn.

I closed the door quietly, pressing my back against the cool, hard wood as a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding in escaped. My hand reached out to lock the door automatically, a trained response my body had learned after many past unwanted visitors had creeped in. I shrugged away the memories and flopped onto my bed, not bothering with pajamas. Sleep swaddled like a loving mother, kissing away all of my fears and worries until there was nothing left but peaceful sleep and beautiful dreams.