The Deeper I Get

"Shit, shit, shit!" I screamed as I ducked down the nearest alleyway attempting to get away from the police cars in hot pursuit of me. "A dead end, fuck..." I laid my hand on the cold brick wall that stands in front of me, preventing my escape. I turned to find the police officers running toward me, guns drawn in front of them.

"Get on the ground, now! Hands behind your head!" One of them screamed. I obeyed, not wanting to get in any deeper than I already was. One of the officers grabbed me by my shoulder, throwing me face first onto the hood of his squad car. "You have the right to remain silent..." He went on with his spiel, he put me in his handcuffs and threw me into the back of the car.

That little occurrence is two months from this day. Before letting into what hellish incidents transpired then, let’s have a little back story, shall we?

My name is Roland. I am a senior at Brea Olinda High School. It is my last month here, thank God. High School has been great and all, but I still can't wait to leave. I guess I am what you could call “the son any parent would want.” Straight A’s, Star Wide Receiver of the football team, the guy the underclassmen wanted to be, the guy all the girls wanted to date. It was exactly how I wanted to be in High School, and in the beginning, it all seemed so perfect…

Too bad my mother is dead, and my dad became a hardened drunk afterwards. Then I just became the son my dad paid no attention to. Last summer my parents were out; coming back from dinner with my little sister. It was late. I wasn’t with them and both my mom and dad were a little buzzed. Not a care in the world as the three of them came home from dinner that evening. My mom wasn’t paying attention; she ran a red light and the driver’s side of the car got t- boned by an oncoming semi truck. The impact made both my little sister and mom’s necks snap, killing them instantly. My dad got out of the car only suffering from a broken arm and a few bruised ribs. He lay there, holding the limp bodies of my sister and mother; crying, until the police and ambulance came. Judging how he acts now, it’s as if he lost me in that crash too, because after that, I seemed dead to him. Since we resided in a small town, word spreads fast. Even now I hear questions about it. I don’t think people understand I wasn’t there, and that it still hurts…

That night I was at my best friend’s surprise birthday party. Honestly if it weren’t for my two best friends, Chris and Auriella, I don’t know where I’d be now. I met them both in the first grade and we’ve been in pretty much the same classes since. I still get weird looks because I have a girl for a best friend; it’s not too common here. People find it weird that we haven’t dated. I had the chance but I figured it would end as one of those “better off friends” things. On top of that, I hear some of my peers wonder how I can deal with my two best friends dating, but I couldn’t really care less.

Now to the home life… my father became an alcoholic after that night. He was always a bit of a drinker before but after that night, it all went downhill for him. He’s trying to drink away the memory, but we both know that it won’t happen. Somehow he remains practically sober for work, but when he gets home, its just drink after drink. He only buys for himself, food and alcohol, its all he needs. The only thing I get from him now is a place to live; I’m surprised I even get that. My job as a waiter helps me buy food and cloths, but if I want to buy something I want and not need, I need to do a little side job, which is what gets me in the situation with the police two short months from now. This side job of mine is just being a small time drug dealer. It’s easier than you’d think; there are a quite a few marijuana addicts in my area so I get a good flow of sales. Only the people I sold to, Chris and Auriella were aware of what I was doing. Both of them frowned upon it but somehow, they understand.

That night, the night I got busted it was just supposed to be a simple deal. It was to a girl in my school, quite, cute brunette who mainly kept to herself. She confronted me one day in the halls about buying some weed from me because, she wanted to try something new. I had no clue how she found out but figured a sale is a sale. I told her where to meet me, a small desolate are on the outskirts of town. It was the type of place that was rarely patrolled by the police, so I thought. I told her to meet me around 11 p.m. or so. I walked up the street and saw her standing there under the light of a street lamp. It seemed like it was from a movie. I approached her, feeling the plastic bag in my back pocket.

“Okay.” I said. “I have a strange feeling about tonight so I just want to get this done as fast as possible, you got the money?”

“Yea, $75 right here.” She replied.

“Good.” I grabbed the bag out my pocket and reached my hand out to give it to her. Then, I heard the police sirens.

“Ah you’ve GOT to be kidding me!” I bellowed. I tried to run but she grabbed to sleeve of my t- shirt. I pulled away from her grasp and the sleeve ripped, revealing my tribal tattoo that wraps around my shoulder. I saw her take a long look at them, then, I ran. The area was confusing to me so I ran the streets, trying to escape the police, turning down a side-street for cover.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I screamed as I ducked down the nearest alleyway attempting to get away from the police cars in hot pursuit of me. "A dead end, fuck..." I laid my hand on the cold brick wall that stands in front of me, preventing my escape. I turned to find the police officers running toward me, guns drawn in front of them.

"Get on the ground, now! Hands behind your head!" One of them screamed. I obeyed, not wanting to get in any deeper than I already was. One of the officers grabbed me by my shoulder, throwing me face first onto the hood of his squad car. "You have the right to remain silent..." He went on with his spiel. He put me in his handcuffs and threw me into the back of the car.