The Truth.
New Start
Time wasted alone. No friends who stayed true for half of my life. But can you really blame them, really can you?! Who wants a friend who is so fucked up that she still saves half of her lunch just in case.
Sixth grade, a new start, new school. If this is a new start then why am I still so scared of my life?
I was a good student, did as I was always told, and did all my work. I was funny and loved school, but still I could never make friends stay with me. Tell me why is that?! Could they here me in the bathroom crying cause it was almost time to go home? Did they see my covered up bruises? Either way, they never stayed for whatever the reason. Maybe it was just me that they didn't like, and that right there struck home.
"Damnit Amily, god you cant do anything right, so fucking worthless."
You'd think that it was just a dream that I was having but no I was being told that and it was not the first time. But on the bright side I only heard it once that day.
[Time Laps]
I shake my head violently to get the thoughts that have been haunting me so badly for the pas few years away. But sadly they don't leave, they do subside but not leave that I know. Her voice is in my head constantly now, her fave is all I see when I close my eyes. You see "her" is named Lynn. To understand her, you have to listen to her. It is quit complicated really. Lynn is a friend of mine, a very close friend of mine, I made her up back in the begging of sixth grade year, and she has been with me since then it has been Two years now, and she has changed my view on life. She promised to never leave me like they did, she promised to always love me, like they never did. In a way she is the family I never had!
"Lynn, you think that life will get any better for me?"
Everyone that I was going crazy talking to myself, but in my head I wasn't talking to myself I was talking to Lynn, my best friend.
"Ami I don't know, but I think if we just keep on going maybe their will be some light bound to shine on us."
I trusted her, and believe every word that came from her mouth. So why start to defy her now and push away her words? I loved her, my friend. Imaginary or real. I loved her.
~~
"AMILY! AMILY FUCKING GET UP!"
*sigh* sometimes I think that Lynn's words were just words and not truth. Sometimes I think that life's light so brightly shining on others will never shine upon me. But until then I have to face it just like Lynn said to, just like I promised her I would. Besides she said that she has a plan for me that she has been thinking of for a while now to make me happy. I beg for hints, but she only gets angry when I do so I don't do that anymore.
I would never want to get her angry at me, and I would Never defy her. So until she tells me, I have to wait, and get ready for another day of hell.
[For a while it will be just Lynn talking, and my parents here and there, but mostly Lynn cause for a chunk of my life Lynn was all I heard. and I might time laps and skip time periods a lot, but I will try not to make it confusing. sorry. this is a story to get out of my head, cause I'm tired of having everything bottled up. so I will write about all the things that set me in the time that I'm in now..]
Sixth grade, a new start, new school. If this is a new start then why am I still so scared of my life?
I was a good student, did as I was always told, and did all my work. I was funny and loved school, but still I could never make friends stay with me. Tell me why is that?! Could they here me in the bathroom crying cause it was almost time to go home? Did they see my covered up bruises? Either way, they never stayed for whatever the reason. Maybe it was just me that they didn't like, and that right there struck home.
"Damnit Amily, god you cant do anything right, so fucking worthless."
You'd think that it was just a dream that I was having but no I was being told that and it was not the first time. But on the bright side I only heard it once that day.
[Time Laps]
I shake my head violently to get the thoughts that have been haunting me so badly for the pas few years away. But sadly they don't leave, they do subside but not leave that I know. Her voice is in my head constantly now, her fave is all I see when I close my eyes. You see "her" is named Lynn. To understand her, you have to listen to her. It is quit complicated really. Lynn is a friend of mine, a very close friend of mine, I made her up back in the begging of sixth grade year, and she has been with me since then it has been Two years now, and she has changed my view on life. She promised to never leave me like they did, she promised to always love me, like they never did. In a way she is the family I never had!
"Lynn, you think that life will get any better for me?"
Everyone that I was going crazy talking to myself, but in my head I wasn't talking to myself I was talking to Lynn, my best friend.
"Ami I don't know, but I think if we just keep on going maybe their will be some light bound to shine on us."
I trusted her, and believe every word that came from her mouth. So why start to defy her now and push away her words? I loved her, my friend. Imaginary or real. I loved her.
~~
"AMILY! AMILY FUCKING GET UP!"
*sigh* sometimes I think that Lynn's words were just words and not truth. Sometimes I think that life's light so brightly shining on others will never shine upon me. But until then I have to face it just like Lynn said to, just like I promised her I would. Besides she said that she has a plan for me that she has been thinking of for a while now to make me happy. I beg for hints, but she only gets angry when I do so I don't do that anymore.
I would never want to get her angry at me, and I would Never defy her. So until she tells me, I have to wait, and get ready for another day of hell.
[For a while it will be just Lynn talking, and my parents here and there, but mostly Lynn cause for a chunk of my life Lynn was all I heard. and I might time laps and skip time periods a lot, but I will try not to make it confusing. sorry. this is a story to get out of my head, cause I'm tired of having everything bottled up. so I will write about all the things that set me in the time that I'm in now..]