They Spark and Fade and Die by Threes

Gerard's POV

I groaned and rolled over, desperately trying to find a place that was comfortable for me to lie on. The mattress was lumpy and thin, and I wondered when my mattress had become that way. It seemed wonderfully plump and fluffy the other night. And I remember having a pillow...a very firm one at that. Where did that go?

I felt around a bit, groping at the mattress for a spot that had a bit of cushioning on it, and sighed when my hand rested on a squishy but nice feeling bit of mattress. I smiled and squeezed at it again, wriggling toward it to use as a sort of pillow for my head.

"Ungh...what the hell?!" I heard someone scream, and all at once I was on the floor and the cushioning I had felt was gone, somebody was yelling at me and I felt the urge to vomit, but didn't have the will to get up to rush to a bathroom, and reluctantly swallowed the rising bile.

"Gerard? Oh, Gerard, are you okay?" I moaned as I heard Zacky from somewhere near me, my head pounding as his voice sounded out, "C'mon, get back on the bed, just relax, right?"

"What happened last night?" I asked, feeling sick and tired and like I had been put through a meat grinder. Movements hurt as I inched my way back onto the bed, feeling awful that I had showed up here in the first place when I had been so drunk and stoned. What had I said? Or done?

Take another line...and you feel fine!

"Bert." I grated out, growling as I remembered what he had dragged me to last night. "Motherfucking cocksucking sneaky little bastard! I can't believe I trusted him! I was clean! CLEAN! And that selfish son of a bitch went and fucked me over again! God damn it, Bert! I hate you! You motherfucker!"

I stopped shouting for a minute and remembered that Zacky was right there, and felt even worse for having shouted like that. I glanced over at him and saw that was huddled in the corner, tears streaming down his face as he stared at the raving mess that could have been his savior. His messiah standing before him in a fit of rage, screaming words that may have seemed directed at him through his haze of awful memories. My heart was crushed the minute I looked at him.

"Zacky...Sugar, I'm sorry..." I whispered, crawling toward him as he tried to push further into the corner, hiding his face in his knees and sobbing like a teenage girl with her first break up, "Oh, sugar, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, sugar, please don't be afraid..."

I stopped in front of him and held out my arms, gasping in surprise as he got on his knees and flung himself toward me. His sobs wracked my body and soaked my shirt, and I rocked back and forth with him in my embrace. I felt awful, like the scum on the bottom of the worst person in the world's shoe. In fact, I probably was that scum. But that didn't bother me.

"Gerard...so...sc-scared...B-Bert...miss...B-Bert...Gerard...I...w-w-want to...forget...w-want to...die..." He choked out, tears staining his face as he looked up at me, "Fuck...G-Gerard...make...make me...f-forget...p-please...make me...forget...G-Gerard...do...something!"

I frowned as I looked down at him, his eyes large and pleading, his face an open book. He was trusting me to take the pain away. I gripped at his arms for a moment before letting him go. Slowly, carefully, I put one hand behind his head and threaded it through his hair, and used to other to push against the wall.

Then, with such an angry and bitter force, I pushed my mouth to his and molded my lips with his. He gasped and clutched at my shirt, and I took that as a chance to push my tongue into his mouth, exploring the hot cavern for a few seconds before he started to react, pushing with his tongue and slipping his hand up my shirt as I moved the hand in his hair to his waist.

He moaned and pulled me closer, pushing his hips up and raking at my chest with his nails. I moaned and pushed myself closer to him, taking my hand off the wall and letting us slide to the floor, hips melded together, skin hot to touch. And then I broke away.

"Did I make you forget, sugar?" I asked, kissing the corners of his mouth and staring down at him, seeing his eyes clouded with lust, "Did you forget for now?"

"Yes..." He whispered, squirming around and making his hips collide with mine in a delicious fashion, "Yes, yes...forget...need to forget...forget more..."

I moaned loudly as he did this, basking in the friction he was creating. It was Heaven, or as close as I would ever get. But it was Hell too, because I felt awful for taking advantage of him like this.

"Forget more?" I asked, leaning down a bit to lick at his lips before kissing his neck, "Sugar, I'll make you forget everything."