They Spark and Fade and Die by Threes

I was half expecting to see Gerard the next day, and half expecting him to have turned away, realizing I was completely, utterly unfixable. Little by little, the confidence I once held faded away and a sense of deep self loathing set in. By the time a knock on my door sounded, I was wallowing deep in a pool of self pity while I brooded in my bedroom.

"Come in!" I screeched, not bothering to get up and answer the door myself, because that would mean picking myself up out of the heap of emotions I had become, "Who is it?"

"Gerard!" They called back, and I smiled, hopping out of bed, the bundle of emotions I had been left behind as I bounded out of the room and up to Gerard. "Hey there."

"Hi." I sounded breathless, like some hormonal teenager talking to their crush in the hall or at lunch, and quickly tried to compose myself. "Whatcha doing here?"

He grinned a bit and ruffled my hair, walking past me and into the bedroom. I could hear my bed creak as he sat down, and I quietly followed him, curious to see what he was doing. I stopped and stood in the doorway, watching him with unease as he stared at his lap, the grin still apparent. He finally looked up, an unsure expression on his face.

"Do you trust me?" He asked suddenly, blurting it out before covering his mouth in what might have been horror, a tiny squeak escaping him.

"Honestly?" I asked, and he nodded, black hair swishing back and forth as he did so, "Just a little...there's a small part of me that really trusts you, although I don't know why. I don't think I've ever really trusted anyone..."

I trailed off, knowing what I was going to say but not wanting to share it in fear of the questions that may follow: except Bert.

"That's a start..." He sighed, rubbing his eyes with his fists like he was tired, and maybe he was, I didn't know what his social life was like. Maybe he had friends he was with earlier, maybe he was at a party. "That's a start...ungh...a start...we should work on that...I don't want you to feel like you can't trust me...what to do..."

"We could...talk?" I suggested timidly, stepping over to sit next to him, "And maybe I could get to know you a bit more...before we go delving into my past?"

"Good idea...you do the thinking today." He smiled toward me, and I could see that his face looked ashen and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked tired and worn out, like he had been out since last night. I leaned forward a bit when he closed his eyes and let out a sigh, catching a hint of old booze. "Okay...about me. About me.."

"About you..." I prompted, hoping he would stop trailing off and talk a bit about himself before he passed out, "What about you, Gerard?"

"Let's start with my name..." He looked like he were thinking hard, as if he were trying to solve some awful math problem, "Gerard Arthur Way! Yup...and I have a brother...his name is Mikey...he's cool, I guess...as far as little brothers go, and he plays wicked bass for us...I am...twenty seven...I've lived in Jersey all my life...it'll alway's be home...I sing! Did you know that? I'm in a band...you should see us sometime, we're awesome...I'm gay!"

I sighed, realizing that we wouldn't be getting anywhere tonight. I looked at Gerard, who had his hands over his mouth and tear's in his eyes. I cocked an eyebrow, curious to know what was going on in his pretty little head, but scared to hear him explain.

"You're not gonna...hit me or nothing...right?" He squeaked out, sounding painfully like a child after being scolded badly, "You don't care...if I'm gay...do you?"

"Gerard, I'm gay too." I whispered, wiping at his tears with my thumb and patting his cheek, "I don't care if you're gay. Honestly, I don't. Why would I hit you, Gerard?"

"Cause that's what they did!" He yelped, fresh tears brewing as he announced this, "They beat me up when they heard about me...all those jocks...they didn't like me as it was, why should they like me any more if I might try an' get all touchy feely on them?"

I frowned. His coming out must have been awful too. But just as quickly as he remembered it, he forgot it, and was back to smiling dopily.

"Gee, maybe you should take a nap." I suggested, patting the bed and gesturing toward a pillow, "And we can talk tomorrow?"

"Do you trust me?" He asked again, suddenly somber as he stared at me.

"A little, yes. Why, Gerard?"

"Cause this is just the calm before the storm. Expect a hurricane, sugar. We got a lotta work to do. Expect a hurricane."

And then Gerard Arthur Way passed out on my bed.