Maybe It's Not Meant To Be

A few years later, the day came. Michelle was getting married, and as she promised, I was included in the wedding party. I remembered that day by the pond that we had joked about me wearing a dress, and it made me smile.

But my smile faded, because I knew that she had found someone she wanted to spend forever with. And that person wasn’t me.

She was no longer going to be Michelle Ellis, but Mrs. Ryan Fleming. In a way, she wasn’t going to be the same person.

But to me, she would always be the girl I had loved for all my life. I had gone out with many girls, but none of the relationships lasted long. I tried to get over Michelle, but I couldn’t. Something always drew me back to her, even though I knew she was off-limits. She wasn’t mine, no matter how much I wanted it to be true.

After a while, the girls stopped going after me. Not all of them, but most of them. I was known as “Alex the heartbreaker”. But I knew that I wasn’t a heartbreaker, or at least not an intentional one. I just never found the girl that I wanted. Maybe that was because the one I wanted wasn’t available, and never would be.

Being known as the town heartbreaker wasn’t so bad. I would have felt bad for those girls that were apparently heartbroken, but the feeling didn’t come.

People had told me that I seemed quieter over the years. I guess they were right. I spent a lot of time thinking – not about sex, as many guys do – but about Michelle. Sure, there were some fantasies, but mostly I thought about her words, that day at the pond. She didn't want me - and somehow, that drew me in even more.

But as for the wedding, I blame myself. I never told Michelle how I felt about her. And I wasn’t going to anytime soon. "In the future," I told myself, until it was too late. It was my fault that I had to endure this.

Michelle had Ryan, who was a nice guy. She deserved someone good, and I didn’t want to ruin their relationship. Maybe I could stick with friendship, and that would be enough.

Soon, the wedding ceremony started. Michelle was walked down the aisle by her father. It was time for me to escort the maid of honor, Michelle’s closest girl friend. She had told me, many times, that I was her only true best friend. It gave me some comfort that she loved me, if not in the way I wanted.

The maid of honor, Eliza, batted her long eyelashes at me. I had to admit, Eliza was attractive. Even more so than Michelle. But that was just physically. I didn’t know Eliza very well, but maybe I could start a relationship with her. It was time for me to move on.

But I felt like I knew Eliza’s type too much. She was flirty, but so were most of the girls I had dated. I didn’t want to repeat myself over again.

As the happy couple took their vows, I stood there watching. People all around me had tears streaming down their faces. But not me. I was past that. I finally accepted that she was a couple of minutes away from being a married woman, and possibly having children in the next few years.

But just because I accepted it, didn’t mean I liked it, or could get over it any time soon.

When the couple kissed, cheers were heard all around. Michelle’s face was glowing. Just seeing her so happy made my sacrifice worth it. But only for that minute. Afterwards, I regretted it just the same.

At the wedding reception, nothing really happened. The bride and groom had their first dance, and I just sat there like a loser.

Michelle came to talk to me though, and it instantly made me feel a bit better.

“Hey, Alex,” she said with a smile.

“Hey, Michelle.” I tried to smile back, but it probably made me look like I was in pain or something.

“Alex, you’ve been my best friend for so long, and I love you for that. I know that I’m the one supposed to be getting presents, but I saw this, and it reminded me of you.”

She opened her hand, and on her palm was a glass marble, with blue inside.

“It matches your eyes. It’s not much, but just something to remember me by. Once we have families of our own, we won’t have as much time to hang out, like we used to.”

“Thanks Michelle, it’s beautiful. Just like you do right now, in your white dress.”

She smiled. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me on the cheek.

“Well, I have to get back to my new husband now. It sounds so weird saying that. I had a hard time accepting it once it happened.”

So did I.

I looked at the marble in my hand, and knew that I would keep it forever.