Temporary Life

When I was ready, I heard the door bell ring. I ran down stairs to answer it. "You've got some explaining to do." Joe said, holding a magazine up, as everyone else walked in behind him. Great...

"What is this?" I asked, looking down at it. The cover read 'Does Baby Gates have a baby? And is Jacoby Shaddix the father?' "Oh you have got to be kidding me!"

"So you don't have a kid?" Beth asked.

"No, that's not it."

"No, you don't? Or no, something else?" Jake asked.

"Yes, I have a daughter. But, Jacoby isn't the father."

"Gee, thanks for telling your supposedly best friends! First you bail on us, now you have a kid? What the hell is up with you, Kelsi? Are you even the same Kelsi anymore?" Carson asked.

I felt tears pricking my eyes. Things had gotten so complicated, I didn't know where to start. "Hey, Guys. Why don't you come in." Jimmy said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

Beth turned to them and gave them a warning glare. They all followed her to the living room. Alex was sitting on the couch with Lily in his arms. Jacoby was sitting in the chair across the room, watching him carefully, as everyone else was spread out around the room. "Find a spot anywhere you can." I said, sitting next to Alex. I took Lily from his arms and lay her head on my chest, rubbing her back.

"So... Are you two an item?" Derek asked.

"Hell no." I said, not thinking before I spoke. "I mean, we used to date back on tour. But... Not anymore."

"I'm guessing he knocked you up?" Devin said, glaring at Alex. I nodded, trying not to make eye contact with any of them.

"Well, why don't you guys go out for lunch. We've got things here under control." Jimmy said. I kissed Lily's forehead, and handed her back to Alex.

While we were in the car with Beth, Joe, Derek and Carson, the silence was tense and awkward. Joe, being himself, tried starting a conversation. "So, where'd you go after you left?"

"Bam's. I just needed to get away from everything."

"And everyone?" Carson snapped.

I sighed, laying my head against the window. Beth sent a glare back to him, and he went silent. The rest of the car ride was even worse.

Once we got to one of the restaurants that we used to go to all the time, Joe tried starting a conversation again. This time, everyone was there as we sat at the table. "What'd you do at Bam's?" He asked.

"You were living with Bam?" Devin asked.

"Yeah. Um, I pretty much just stayed at the house. I didn't really go out that much. I just took care of everyone there, or else it would be a mad house."

"Well, why'd you suddenly come back?" Ben asked, earning a jab in the ribs from Beth.

"It's complicated." I mumbled, looking out the window.

"Kels, you just up and left after tour. We deserve some sort of explanation." Derek said.
I nodded, looking at the table. "Then, I guess I should start at the beginning." I started telling them everything that had happened, from everything on tour, up until yesterday.

"Holy... Mother... Fucker..." Joe said, looking at me wide eyed. He got out of his chair, and walked around to hug me. "I'm so sorry, Kelsi." He said, kissing the top of my head.

"It's fine. You live and you learn." I said, shrugging.

"But no one should have to go through that." Derek said.

"Well, it happened. The past is the past, and I'm learning to move on from it."

"God I missed you." Carson said, pulling me into a hug after Joe let go. I laughed, and hugged him back.

"I missed you guys too."

"So, when can we go and play with our baby niece?" Jake asked, excitedly.

"After we eat."

We continued a conversation during the lunch, everything feeling like it was almost back to how it used to be. Almost...

"Where's Kevin?" I finally asked. Everyone's faces dropped, as Ben glared at his plate.

"It doesn't matter." He said darkly.

Whoa there... What the hell had happened while I was gone? "Let's just say that... Kevin didn't mix well with the group he had met a few months after graduation." Beth explained.

"That still doesn't explain what happened." I said, still confused.

"He started doing drugs, ok?" Ben snapped. I was shocked. He couldn't be talking about the same Kevin... He got up and walked out.

"I'll go check on him." Derek said, getting up.

"He's still gets upset when we talk about it. We try to stay away from it as much as possible." Joe said, trying to tell me it wasn't my fault.

"I want to see him."

"What?" They all asked.

"I want to see him. I need to see it for myself." I said, shaking my head. I didn't want to believe it. They couldn't be talking about the same Kevin I used to know...