Temporary Life

I tried to run away, but failed. "Get her!" Novak yelled, and soon, I was under a dog pile.
"Get your fat asses off of me." I groaned. They laughed, and all got off, except of Raab. He had his head on my ass... Talk about awkward. "Raab..."

"Yesss??"

"Can you please get your head off my ass?" I asked nicely.

"But whyyy? It's comfy!"

"Dude, no." Bam said, talking Raab off of me so I could roll over and look up at him. "Having fun?" He asked, laughing.

"Screw you." I glared as he helped me up.

He pulled me into his arms and bent down to my ear. "Time, place, and how hard, Baby." He whispered, kissing my ear as his hands slipped into my back pockets.

I bit my lip and grabbed his shoulders. Damn he was attractive... But I wanted to wait for that step. "Bam." I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder.

"I know, Kels. Don't worry. You'd be surprised at how much self contorl I actually have." He said, kissing the top of my head.

"Then why are your hands still in my back pockets?" I asked, looking up at him, amused.

"Well..." He trailed off, looking away.

"That's what I thought." I said, laughing and pulling away. He slapped my ass as I turned around. I looked back at him, pointing my finger. He smiled innocently as I shook my head.

"Not in front of the kid, Guys. Sheehs." Steve-O said. I looked over and saw him holding Lily.

"Steve-O!" I yelped, not trusting him at all!

"Kelsi, you know I would never do anything to endanger the poor girl." He said, holding Lily against his chest.

"Of course not. But you would do something to endanger your own life!" I shot back.

He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. "Dude, just give me Lily." Bam said, holding out his arms.

"She's just like your daughter. I don't see why she isn't." Novak thought out loud.

That was a bit of a blow to the heart. I looked at the ground, wondering how I had screwed that up. It would be better off if Bam was her dad and not Alex. But I could never ask Bam to do that. That's not his responsibility.

"Babe, you ok?" Bam asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked up and smiled, nodding. "You sure?"

"Yeah, just a little out of it."

"Do you wanna go lay down? We can take care of Lil." He said, looking at me concerned.

"I'm fine, Bam. And how can you look after her while you're filming?" I asked.

"Easily."

"Sure..." I said, rolling my eyes. "Hand her over so you can start." I laughed, holding my arms out to Lily.

"No! You can't have her!" He said, and started running, carefully of course, but still trying to stay away from me. "Say no, Mommy! I want to stay with Bam Bam!" He said in a high pitched girly voice.

"Oh God, don't ever do that again." Steve-O said, giving him a weird look.

"Bam, what are you doing to that poor girl?!" I turned and smiled when I saw Ape.

"Momma Ape!" I said, running over to her and pulling her in a hug. I hadn't seen her in a month and missed her.

"Hey, Sweetie. What is he doing with Lily?" She asked.

"Trying to play 'Keep Lily Away From Mommy'." I said, crossing my arms. He'd tried playing this game before and never succeeded. I thought I'd let him pretend he was winning this time at least... Then get him back for it later.

"Brandon, give Lily to me." Ape said sternly. He glared at her for being called his full name, but did so anyways.

"Good boy." I laughed, patting the top of his head. He growled and I pulled me hand back. "Really now?" I asked.

"Let's play catch Kelsi!" He said with an evil smirk.

"Not nice!" I yelped, before running. They had all actually listened this time... Great...

I had to climb up a damn tree to stay away from them! "Babe, come down!" Bam called up to me.

"Hell no!"

"I promise we won't do anything." He said, still laughing.

"Yeah right! Where have I heard that one before?!"

"But I promise. You can kick Knoxville in the balls if I'm lying."

"Dude!" Johnny said, covering up his crotch.

"How about no sex? Ever!"

He looked at me, horrified. "You wouldn't."

"You saw what being pregnant did to me. I so can." He whimpered and stuck his bottom lip out. I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Help me down." I said, ready to jump. He caught me and set me on my feet.

"Now..."

"Brandon Margera!"

"What the fuck is up with people calling me by my name today?!" He asked, throwing his arms in the air.

"It's fun." I said, smirking.

"Alright, we gotta get filming started, guys!" One of the camera guys called.

"Let's go!" Novak said hyperly. Novak being excited about filming... Now that scared me.

A few hours and a few more bruises and injuries later, we were all in our swim suits and ready to get in the pool. "Oohh... I think I'm just going to sit here for a few minutes." Bam said, when he saw me walk out of the bathroom in my swim suit. I laughed and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Why?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Do you not see what you're wearing?"

I looked down and nodded. "I guess you're right. I should change... I mean, look at my hips! Ugh, I love Lily but really?!" I went to pull away, but he held me in place.

"You're beautiful, Kels. Lily just made your curves more known." He said, smirking.

"Ok, horn dog." I laughed, kissing his lips quickly, before finally pulling away. "Come on, it's not like no one will notice. Just imagine your brother in a thong."

"Ah! My eyes!"

"See, it helped." I giggled, walking out of the room.

"Oh, girl I am so going to get you back for that!" I ran away, still laughing.

When we got out back, I decided to do something daring and freak him out. I ran to the railing of the deck, and jumped. Of course the pool was right there, but he wasn't expecting that. No one was.

"What the fuck?! Where'd you come from?!" Raab said, looking at me as I came up from under the water.

"Really, Raab? Do we need to have this discussion again?" I asked seriously.

"You've already had to give it to him?" Knoxville asked, laughing.

"Kelsandra! You are so going to get it!" Bam said, yelling over the railing.

"We don't need to know what she's gonna get, Bam!" Chris said, laughing.

"Hey, Kels?" Steve-O called. I turned to look at him.

"What's up?"

"Oh, I was just wondering. Since you were pregnant, did your boobs get bigger?"

"What kind of question is that, Steve-O?" Before he could say anything, I felt someone un-tie the string to my top.

"Victory!" I heard Novak yell as I pulled my top back up and held it in place.

"Come here, Kels." Bam said, trying to hold in a laugh. I turned my back to him so he could re-tie my top. "You do have to admit that was funny though.

"Oh, I'm not saying it wasn't."

"What's going through your mind?" He asked, turning me around to look at him. He was sitting on the edge of the pool and I was in between his legs.

"Revenge." I said, smiling evilly.

"Should've known." He said, laughing and shaking his head. He bent down for a kiss and I let his lips connect with mine. But, I slowly started backing up, and he soon fell in. "Nice one." He said as I laughed.

"I learn from the best."

"I know."

"Right, Raab?"

"Huh?" He hadn't heard our conversation.

"That was cold." Bam said, shaking his head.

"You'll get over it." I smirked, before swimming over to Novak.

"Hey, stripper." Knoxville said, joking around.

"Hey, chode." I shot back.

"Burn!" Novak laughed. While he was distracted, I pulled his trunks down and swam off. "Woman! Bring my pants back, now!"

"Find them first!" I called back as I got out of the pool and went to hide them.

This meant war...