A Letter to J

Dear Jeremy Reid Proulx

Yeah, I know I used your name, you're full name.

Your name that I swore that I wouldn't tell a single soul.

Ooops. I lied.

Kinda like how you lied to me, the entire six months that we were together.

That's right I know about that.

You didn't think I knew did you?

Anyways onto the next subject.

That's another lie, the topic is YOU.

I can't believe that you did that to me.

I trusted you and told you everything and you did this.

After we broke up.

No wait let me rephrase that.

After I dumped your sorry ass.

You followed me around like a puppy.

You told me you were sorry over and over, and that you wanted me back.

And that you'd do anything, anything at all to get me back.

I ignored you and told you that there was nothing at all you could do.

Man was I wrong.

Then a few days later I heard the news.

I heard what had happened.

That you had. .

My god it hurts like hell to even think about what you had done.

I heard that you'd tried to kill yourself and almost succeeded.

At first I didn't believe it.

So I had to find your brother and ask him.

My god Jeremy if you could've seen him.

He was a wreck crying and sobbing in the office because your parents had forced him to go to school that day.

That's when I knew it was true.

I started crying so hard that I could barely see but I was forced to go back to class.

Then in the middle of religion Mr. Lent's phone rang.

He picked it up then hung it up a few seconds later.

He told me that I had to go to the office and just to leave my books there.

The entire class was staring at me as I left but I ignored their gazes.

When I got down to the office all three of your brothers were there and they took me to the hospital.

The doctor was in your room and checking some chart then he came out and said hi to me and began to talk to me.

I couldn't comprehend what he was saying it was so fast.

The only part I caught was "life support" and "will."

You left me of all people in charge of your life support.

You put it in your will that it would be my decision of what would happen.

Why the hell would you do something like that??

Why?

I said no chance in any way would I be turning off your life support.

I wouldn't be able to; I wouldn't be able to watch another person I knew get buried.

Jeremy.

It's been over six and a half months since I found out.

You’re still in the hospital and you've been up for almost two days.

Jeremy I don't care what happens but I do know this.

I know that your brothers miss you at home.

I know that your friends miss you at school.

I know that your dad took off.

I know that your mom wants you to be ok.

I know that I miss you a lot.

I know that I still and always will love you.

And I know that you will always ALWAYS be my Jeremy Ryan

Love Always.
Hailey.