Sell Your Soul Under the Lights

Jenna sat on her couch lightly thinking to herself. It had been months since she had done anything that made her happy. Sure, Tanner was good to her but she missed her old life sometimes.

“Sweetie,” the man laying beside Jenna looked at her in worry. “Are you alright? You’ve been a little off.”

It was hard for her to answer that simple question, because she didn't know if she was fine or not. Her mind had been so consumed in thoughts that sometimes she just sat their for hours not even knowing it. One thought in particular seemed to catch the young girls attention.

The open grass made Jenna smile, it was a familiar place to her. Joseph would take her quite frequently when they had been going out. “Hello? Is there anyone here?”

No response came, she started to get nervous. Jenna didn't like being alone especially in large areas. It was one thing that gave her anxiety. “This isn't funny! What is going on, come out you coward.”

His form was appearing from the trees. Jenna squinted her eyes trying to see who it was. She had no idea who the person was walking toward her. It was tanner.

“Tanner, what are you doing here? are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Jenna smiled lightly finding out that it was her boyfriend.

It wasn't until he had opened his mouth that she knew it wasn't her boyfriend. “Hello Jenna.”

Blinking more than three times, Jenna had finally kept her eyes open. Joseph stood not even ten feet away from her with a disapproving expression upon his face.

“Joe? What is going on? What am I doing here with you?” there was nothing more that terrified her than reliving something that she wanted to forget. Everyone had their own baggage to hold.

Jenna’s eyes, already open, widened larger. Tanner was now sitting up straight looking at his girlfriend with a worried expression. “Sweetie, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think that I just need to get some sleep and then it will be all good in the morning.” she chuckled lightly without even knowing why she had done so. She hoped that she was okay. Kissing Tanner on the lips Jenna laid back in her bed and went to sleep.

Her eyes were open, but she had no idea where she was. Jenna was running down the halls of a hospital she could faintly remember. All she could wonder was how she had gotten there. Her feet immediately halted as she stopped in front of room number four sixteen. Her eyes widened as she opened the door.

Joseph sat in a chair that was pulled right next to his now dead brother. Tears were falling down his face like a waterfall. “Its all my fault Jenna. If I hadn't asked him to pick me up from that party then he’d be alive right now. Its all my fault!”

“Its not all your fault Joe, maybe there’s a reason for all of this? God plans things in secret.” Jenna said as she walked closer to her boyfriend and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! God wanted Kevin dead? What did he ever do? I’d rather god have taken me instead. He had so much more to offer. He was going to propose to Danielle and wanted to start a family. What would I do, I don't even know! I have no plans for my life afterwards.” Joseph took Jenna’s wrists and squeezed tightly on them.

Jenna had never seen her boyfriend this broken. It was indescribable, she was speechless.

“Kevin is in a good place, hes in heaven with god. None of this was your fault, it was all the other drivers fault for running that red light.” her eyes pleaded with his. She was devastated too. It were as if she lost a brother as well.

“Who is to say that God even exists? Why would man create men only to kill them? Why is it that i'm still alive and breathing but Kevin is dead? I should be dead with him, its what I deserve.” Still standing with tears rolling down his face, Joseph threw the chair he’d previously been sitting in at the wall. a loud scream filled the hospital coming from both young adults.

Fear was running throughout the brunette’s veins. She had no idea what was going on inside of her boyfriend, but she didn't want to stick around and find out. Jenna couldn't even recognize him.“Joseph, I don't know if I can do this.”

“You don't think you can do this, cant do what?! What is that supposed to mean? You’re my girlfriend, you cant just leave me.” the look on his face crushed Jenna more than she thought that it would have.

Tears were now rolling down Jenna’s face even heavier. She was loosing something she loved dearly. Her thoughts kept telling her to leave him at this moment so she wouldn't have to tell him the truth. She didn't want to tell him that she’d cheated on him. “I’m sorry.”

“I could care less if you left me. I don't need you Bitch!” Jenna knew that it was the anger and anguish from his brother’s death but it had cut her deeply.

Jenna woke up with sweat dripping lightly down her forehead and small tears falling from her eyes. She didn't know why there had been a reoccurring of someone she hadn't thought of in months.

Tanner lay next to her under the sheets unmoving. The Sunday sun was peeking through the curtains. The time on their clock had read ten in the morning. Jenna sat up from where she was and started to get ready for her day.

She knew exactly where she was going when she put her shoes on and walked out the door. Jenna was on her way to change her life.

[&&&]

It had taken about an hour of her time, but what she was doing was worth it. Jenna walked up the small sum of steps and then rang the doorbell. There wasn't a reply until she started to walk away. “Jenna, is that you?”

The familiar curly haired boy was standing not even ten feet away from her. Both young adults stared at one another. They had no idea what to say. Jenna walked back up to the front door. “Can I come in?”

Nick could only gesture with his head. Jenna walked past him and into the house. It still appeared to be the same as the last time she had seen it.

“Is Denise here? Where is Joe?” the curiosity was beating inside of the brunette. She hadn't seen him in months and wanted to know what he was doing with his life.

There was only silence coming from Nick. He was still in shock that Jenna was in his house again, he found it awkward. “Mom is in her room, you can go up there if you want.”

Walking up those same stairs made Jenna anxious for what she was going to see. She knocked on Denise’s door and heard the familiar voice telling her that she could enter the room.

Denise didn't look up from her computer when she was typing. Jenna could tell that it was something serious because then she would have acknowledged the person entering. It didn't bother the light haired brunette though, she understood.

In the few seconds that Denise took to writing what she needed she finally turned around. Her eyes became wide with shock, she couldn't believe what she was seeing,

“Jenna? Well this is quite a surprise. What are you doing here?” If you would have heard Denise’s voice you would not have known that it was her. There may have been shock, but there was also something lingering on inside of the older woman.

Time had passed since Jenna had last seen Denise and there was a chance that she could see. Denise stood up almost mechanically and hugged the younger girl. “Its so nice to see you. I was actually wondering if Joe was around. I need to talk to him about something.”

Her face fell as she looked at the younger girl. Denise didn't want to tell her son’s previous girlfriend that he had left the state, but she did anyways. “Joe is in Las Vegas, Nevada.”

It came a good shock when the long haired brunette had heard this. She knew that Joe liked to party, but never that kind of partying. Her eye twitched slightly as she looked around the room, taking in the scenery.

“Joe is in Vegas? Are you sure that he’s telling the truth?” Jenna know that was not the boy that she knew.

Nick opened the door and walked bluntly into the room, answering. “Yes he’s telling the truth. He talked to me first about it then I told mom because I thought it’d be for the best.”

“Wow, hes really gone? that's shocking. I just came here to stop by and talk to him, but if not I have to go back to my friend.” Jenna smiled a small grin at the people she used to call her family. It now seemed only like a distant memory.

There was an awkward tense silence filling the room. All of them noticed it but had no idea what to say.

Jenna smiled and started to break the silence as best as she could. “It was really great seeing you two again. You don't know how much I’ve missed you all.” With that she said her goodbyes, walked down the stairs and out of the house.

She knew what she had to do to make her dreams go away. Jenna knew she needed to make amends with her past and that she was going to do. She was tired of running away from it, now was her time to make things right.