Status: Paused
Regrets & Romance
Chapter Six: The Story.
"Gerard, Corinne, time to come back in! Almost time for light out!" We heard a nurse yell to use.
I had fallen asleep near Gerard.
Never mind, I fell asleep on Gerard.
I looked over and saw Gerard rubbing his eyes with his left hand, his right wrapped around me to keep me warm.
I blushed and stood up, which removed his arm from me.
Which removed his warmth from me.
Which removed this strange feeling from the pit of my stomach.
I walked over to the nurse, Gerard close behind me. She smiled at us and we walked inside. The lights seemed so dim now that I had been outside.
We walked back to our boring white room and got settled in.
"30 minutes until light out you two." another nurse poked her head into our room and smiled.
Gerard nodded and she left.
"Corinne, can I ask you something?"
"You just did." I felt myself smile again.
I kind of like this smiling thing that Gerard is making me do. He laughed.
"Can I ask you another question after I finish asking this one."
I nodded and he smiled.
"I can understand if you don't want to tell me this cause we've only known each other for a week but, why are you in here?" he asked quietly, like I was going to yell at him.
I haven't yelled at anyone since that psychiatrist.
I let out a long sigh.
I hope he doesn't hate me after I tell him.
"It's a long story."
"I have all the time in the world."
I sat on my bed and Gerard sat on his, facing me.
Our beds aren't really that far apart. If Gerard and I stretched our arms out towards each other, we could touch.
"When I'm done with the story, this is probably going to be the most you will ever hear me talk."
"I doubt that. And besides, I like your voice."
I smiled.
God, that's starting to grow on me.
"Here it goes." I started and took a big breath. This is going to be the most I've said in three years. "When I was a little girl, I was constantly made fun of for having two dads. I never knew the difference. Of course, when you're only 10 years old, you don't know the difference between gay and straight. I love my dads with all my heart and I knew they loved me. Loved me. That was until I came home from junior high one day, super mad and upset. Someone had made fun of me for having gay parents again and I was tired of it. I went off on my dads and told them that I hated them for adopting me and I wish I was somewhere else. Then, I felt bad and took it all back. Then I wasn't sorry and said all that stuff again. I did that for a while until I started to lose my mind. It was a few years later when I was 20 that I moved out into a small apartment. I was still mentally unstable and I started to have weird thought. I kept saying how I had no purpose on Earth and how I was making my dads lives miserable with me around. My dads got worried and they sent made me go to a psychiatrist. He didn't help at all. 200$ an hours for 2 months and he still didn't diagnose me. By then my problem was getting out of hand. So, I decided to rid the world of the mistake that is me. I went home after I flipped out on my psychiatrist and I took the gun that I had bought a while go out. I loaded it with a single bullet. Knowing I wasn't going to need more than one to end it. I put the gun to my right temple, " I said and made the gun sign with my hand and put it up to my right temple. "and bang, it was light out."
I paused and sighed.
"The next thing I knew, I was awake and still alive in this medical ward of this very building. They told me my dads had decided to keep my here until they decided I needed to be let out. Since I was 21 then I could have decided to leave and try to kill myself again, but since my fathers were worried, I'm decided to stay until I think I'm all better." I got a little quieter. "That was a little over three years ago."
He was deathly quiet.
Until I started to pull down the sheets to my bed.
"Corinne?" he said quietly.
I turned around to face him and he was right behind me, which startled me a little.
He pulled me into a hug.
First physical contact of this type since the day I tried to end it all.
"Corinne, you definitely belong on this planet. I'm glad that you didn't die."
I slowly got a little more comfortable and I hugged Gerard back.
This feels, great.
He's so warm. So much warmth. I never want to leave his arms.
Then he let go.
Dammit, spoke to soon.
I let out a small whimper and Gerard looked at me cutely.
Did I just say cutely?
I guess I did.
"What was that whimper for?"
"You're really warm. I like it."
He smiled and sat back on his bed. I sat up but wrapped the white sheets around my body.
"So those spots on your temples are from where the bullet went?" he asked.
"Yeah, it went in the right side and out the left. I can't feel physical pain anymore."
"That's kinda cool."
I thought about it.
Yeah, that is pretty cool.
Gerard's attitude is contagious.
I had fallen asleep near Gerard.
Never mind, I fell asleep on Gerard.
I looked over and saw Gerard rubbing his eyes with his left hand, his right wrapped around me to keep me warm.
I blushed and stood up, which removed his arm from me.
Which removed his warmth from me.
Which removed this strange feeling from the pit of my stomach.
I walked over to the nurse, Gerard close behind me. She smiled at us and we walked inside. The lights seemed so dim now that I had been outside.
We walked back to our boring white room and got settled in.
"30 minutes until light out you two." another nurse poked her head into our room and smiled.
Gerard nodded and she left.
"Corinne, can I ask you something?"
"You just did." I felt myself smile again.
I kind of like this smiling thing that Gerard is making me do. He laughed.
"Can I ask you another question after I finish asking this one."
I nodded and he smiled.
"I can understand if you don't want to tell me this cause we've only known each other for a week but, why are you in here?" he asked quietly, like I was going to yell at him.
I haven't yelled at anyone since that psychiatrist.
I let out a long sigh.
I hope he doesn't hate me after I tell him.
"It's a long story."
"I have all the time in the world."
I sat on my bed and Gerard sat on his, facing me.
Our beds aren't really that far apart. If Gerard and I stretched our arms out towards each other, we could touch.
"When I'm done with the story, this is probably going to be the most you will ever hear me talk."
"I doubt that. And besides, I like your voice."
I smiled.
God, that's starting to grow on me.
"Here it goes." I started and took a big breath. This is going to be the most I've said in three years. "When I was a little girl, I was constantly made fun of for having two dads. I never knew the difference. Of course, when you're only 10 years old, you don't know the difference between gay and straight. I love my dads with all my heart and I knew they loved me. Loved me. That was until I came home from junior high one day, super mad and upset. Someone had made fun of me for having gay parents again and I was tired of it. I went off on my dads and told them that I hated them for adopting me and I wish I was somewhere else. Then, I felt bad and took it all back. Then I wasn't sorry and said all that stuff again. I did that for a while until I started to lose my mind. It was a few years later when I was 20 that I moved out into a small apartment. I was still mentally unstable and I started to have weird thought. I kept saying how I had no purpose on Earth and how I was making my dads lives miserable with me around. My dads got worried and they sent made me go to a psychiatrist. He didn't help at all. 200$ an hours for 2 months and he still didn't diagnose me. By then my problem was getting out of hand. So, I decided to rid the world of the mistake that is me. I went home after I flipped out on my psychiatrist and I took the gun that I had bought a while go out. I loaded it with a single bullet. Knowing I wasn't going to need more than one to end it. I put the gun to my right temple, " I said and made the gun sign with my hand and put it up to my right temple. "and bang, it was light out."
I paused and sighed.
"The next thing I knew, I was awake and still alive in this medical ward of this very building. They told me my dads had decided to keep my here until they decided I needed to be let out. Since I was 21 then I could have decided to leave and try to kill myself again, but since my fathers were worried, I'm decided to stay until I think I'm all better." I got a little quieter. "That was a little over three years ago."
He was deathly quiet.
Until I started to pull down the sheets to my bed.
"Corinne?" he said quietly.
I turned around to face him and he was right behind me, which startled me a little.
He pulled me into a hug.
First physical contact of this type since the day I tried to end it all.
"Corinne, you definitely belong on this planet. I'm glad that you didn't die."
I slowly got a little more comfortable and I hugged Gerard back.
This feels, great.
He's so warm. So much warmth. I never want to leave his arms.
Then he let go.
Dammit, spoke to soon.
I let out a small whimper and Gerard looked at me cutely.
Did I just say cutely?
I guess I did.
"What was that whimper for?"
"You're really warm. I like it."
He smiled and sat back on his bed. I sat up but wrapped the white sheets around my body.
"So those spots on your temples are from where the bullet went?" he asked.
"Yeah, it went in the right side and out the left. I can't feel physical pain anymore."
"That's kinda cool."
I thought about it.
Yeah, that is pretty cool.
Gerard's attitude is contagious.