Cut and Run

The rest of the summer flew by fast, and Camden was soon part of our little group. His friends were nice, and we did hang out with them fairly often.

But as the season came to a close, I found myself spending every moment I could with Alex. Before I even realized it, it was the night before he was set to leave for college. I tossed and I turned, unable to sleep with the sadness of his departure looming over me.

Alex stopped by bright and early, dropping Freddy off to spend the day with me, and saying our final goodbye. I ran to him, when he stepped out of his truck, throwing my arms around his neck as I jumped on him.

His arms snaked around my lower back, and I buried my face into his neck. “I love you,” I murmured, not knowing what else to say. I know he felt terrible for leaving, and I didn’t want to make him feel worse.

“I love you, too, and I’ll be back before you know it. And I’ll call you and text you so much it will be like I never left and you’ll get sick of me,” he replied, hugging me tighter. I stayed silent, just burying my head deeper into his neck.

We stayed like that for awhile, not saying anything, but Freddy told Alex he had to leave if he wanted to beat the traffic. Seconds later, we were pulling apart, and he was reassuring me he’d call every day if I wanted, and I told him I would be fine. A minute later he was climbing back in the truck, and one last wave goodbye, he was on his way.

As the truck pulled onto the road, I could feel my heart beat racing. A sudden chill overtook my body, and tears started to roll down my face. When the vehicle rounded the corner, I started shaking, unable to control myself. My breathing became ragged, and soon I was gasping for air. Freddy was at my side, rubbing circles into my back and whispering that it would all be okay.

In, gasp, in, out. In, gasp, in, out. In, gasp, in, out. In, gasp, in, out.

Thirty minutes later and the panic attack was almost over, my irregular breathing being the only evidence that it had occurred.