Cut and Run

The only reason I told Paul what was going on yesterday was because he couldn’t tell anyone. I mean, I wasn’t threatening anyone or myself. He cannot legally tell anyone. So I’m okay…

Except I wasn’t.

Fucking hell. Okay, I never cuss but I keep on releasing my stress in the words. Somehow saying a four letter word was going to heal all of my wounds. Nah. I knew it wouldn’t but the word just made me feel better for the half a second it took to say it.

I cussed again as I jogged. Angry about the fact that Paul decided he was allowed to tell me that I had to take a pregnancy test. Uh. Yeah sure let me get right on that. He said to tell someone I trusted.

“Alex, Justin, or Freddy perhaps.”

I laughed on the inside. “Okay Doc. I’ll do that as soon as I get home!” I pumped my fist in front of me sarcastically, and then leaned back into the big chair.

“Andi, you know you have no other choice. I would buy it for you but it’s illegal. I would lose my job. So I can’t.”

The minute hand hit the six and I stood up. “Nice seeing you. Be back in two days.”

And then I left.

And I wasn’t going to tell anyone about this. ANYONE.

*****

Camden was sitting on the steps leading up to my apartment when I got back.

“Hey there.” I greeted.

“Hey…” He waited a moment. “Have you seen Freddy?”

“Nope why?”

“I saw her jump behind a car earlier…and I was kinda thinking maybe I should properly introduce myself before she jumps me. It might back the experience a little less awkward.”

I laughed and sat next to him. “She thinks you’re hot.”

He smiled and then tried to cover it up. “She’s cute.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled my phone from my pocket.

“What are you doing!?” He cried, looking at me incredulously.

“Texting Freddy?”

“You can’t do that!”

“Wanna bet.” He reached for my phone and I leaned away as I typed. “Freddy, come over NOW! (: Love ya! HURRY!” I read as I typed.

Camden groaned as I pressed send and then tucked my phone in my pocket. “She’ll be here as soon as she can pester Alex enough to let her borrow his truck.” I smiled. “Wanna come inside till she gets here?”

“Sure.” He sighed. “Might as well.” He pulled me to my feet and I unlocked the door.

“Want something to drink?”

“I’m okay…” He tentatively stood next to the couch.

“So Dr. Pepper or Sunkist?”

He laughed. “Sunkist.”

I grabbed a Dr. Pepper for myself and handed him his drink and then sat down. “Er. You can sit.” I motioned for him to take a seat anywhere. He sat opposite of me on the couch. “So what grade are you in Camden?”

“Twelfth. About to graduate…” He was looking around.

My heart skipped a beat. “So…you’re eighteen?”

He nodded without really thinking about it. “Yeah.” Then he turned and looked at me. “Are you okay? You seem…spaced?”

“You have to be eighteen to buy a pregnancy test.” I just recited without thinking it through. My brain was going crazy. Suddenly I was just spinning in my own thoughts. I couldn’t grasp a hard surface.

He raised his eyebrows. “I know…?”

I looked at him. “It’s not Justin’s. It would be my dads, but you see it’s a long story.” I started hyperventilating. Oh shit. I kept babbling and then my head started spinning more. I felt sick. The can in my hand slipped and splashed on my feet. My eyelids fluttered.

“Andi!” Camden cried.

And I collapsed.

*****

I awoke later to Alex wrapped around me warmly. I stirred slightly. “Hey beautiful. Camden said you passed out.”

“Mhm.” I sighed contently.

“What happened?”

“I was just really tired.”

“Oh well he wouldn’t tell me what was happening. He went off to talk to Freddy though. I think he likes her.”

My eyes widened but luckily he was behind me. “Is it Thursday?”

“Yeah? Oh shit! Your appointment! Get dressed lets go!”

*****

I sat down in what I had come to say was my chair in Paul’s office. It was big and comfortable. I had cried in it. I had lied in it. I had become one with it. And now I was going to tell him I had taken a test and it was negative.

Lie.

He walked in without looking at me and threw a bag in my lap. He sat down and put his elbows on his knees, staring at the bag. “Open it.”

I looked inside and gasped. “Pregnancy Alert.”

“Go. Now. Hurry. Don’t let anybody see you.”

I ran.

*****

Moments later I stood in the bathroom, the little stick in my hand, staring at is as it told me my fate…