Breaking Point of Insanity

I'm nothing special. I have dyed black hair that’s chopped across my neck just before my shoulders. I could eat a carton of double chucky fudge chocolate ice-cream and still want more. Sometime I care too much about what people thought of me, sometimes I cared too less. Sometimes I’d wear my glasses instead of my contacts because I wanted to look ordinary to the world. Sometime I could be a hypocrite. Sometimes I could look in the mirror and think ‘why doesn’t he love me’? Sometime I could look and see why. Because I’m me. Because I have side swept bangs that were long overdue to be trimmed, because I have stormy grey eyes, because my lips are too thin. Because I love someone who doesn't love me back.

Because he was singing this beautiful song while he looked at me and read the words from my heart.

“Well that was intense.” I heard someone say a moment after they were done.

“Yeah.” I mumbled agreeing. They soon came out f the room and stood before us, waiting for We Want it All’s judgment.

“That was great, you guys.” Jesse was the first to speak. “Hayden you were awesome back there, drumming your little heart away. Darien you were so into it I thought you were going to smash the guitar. Lonnie you could be a little Kevin by how amazing that was. Jayden you are the best bassist I’ve seen in a long time. And Sin that was just, what was that Cassidy?” he said turning towards me. Everyone was waiting for my opinion.

“I thought that was great, I thought you were great.” I smiled softly, letting some of the love in my voice slip.

“Yeah, thanks.” Sin said, not meeting my gaze so I just looked around awkwardly.

“I think I should be getting home.” I said after a moment.

“Oh, I’ll take you; I have work in a few anyways.” Hayden offered.

“No, I brought her here, I’ll take her.” Sin injected.

“If you don’t mind,” I said turning to Sin. “I’d rather go with Hayden.” He looked at me for a moment before sighing.

“Fine.”

“I’ll see you all later.” Hayden said giving them all a hug then walking away and I followed. As I walked past Sin he grabbed my arm.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked.

“Maybe,” I replied. “I’ll see you guys.” I said talking to the others and left. I followed Hayden out to her car and she slowly drove out of their driveway.

“I’ve seen you around school before but I never knew you were friends with Sin,” she confessed after we pulled onto the main road.

“I’m not,” I said quickly, a little too quickly because she cast me a side long glance and lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow. “I mean, we’re complicated.”

“Ah,” she said. I thought she was going to elaborated but after a while I figured that was it. I was partly relieved because I didn’t want to talk about him. The only person who even had a clue that I love Sin was Tara but that was no surprise because he was my first crush and back then we were just starting to notice boys and we weren’t trying to hide our fascination. That was not saying that I was hung up on some boy my entire adolescent years and that’s not saying I haven’t dated other guys, had my first kiss, nor was even a virgin. It was just that I knew these feeling were never going to have a chance even if I did acknowledge them. It was the same year of his mother’s death that I realized but by then he was so far into himself he wasn’t going to let me or anyone else in. The only person he even remotely let in his life was Lonnie, Darien and Jayden didn’t come to the school until Junior year, and Hayden is one of the people he’s known his entire life so it wasn’t a surprise he let them in. Unlike me. I was some girl from his middle school years who was just as disposable as all the rest. Sin is good looking, and his looks paired with that attitude he was just every girls fantasy of a bad guy. Including mine.

“You can just turn up this road here.” I said giving her directions, which she followed. “It’s this house.” We soon were pulling up into the drive way of Tara’s rented house.

“Hey,” Hayden called as I was stepping out of the car. “You should drop by practice sometime soon. Since its summer we’ll mostly be there every day.” She pulled out a pen and grabbed a recite that was lying on the floor. She scribbled her number on it before handing it to me.

“Sure, I’ll call.” I said stuffing it in my back pocket.

“Bring Tara, Darien would love you.” I chucked as she backed out. Everyone knew he’s been trying to get with her since junior year but she was already through with guys buy then, after the last one she trusted left, her father. He had sold the house and packed up and left leaving her to deal with his mess. She had sold almost everything in there to afford to rent this place. We both worked part-time jobs for a while, me giving her eighty percent of my pay check because she wouldn’t accept it all. It was a good thing she and I were the only children of our parents because we only had each other to look after.

I opened the door with my spear key and took my shoes off at the door, it was a rule. Her car wasn’t in the drive but without that I knew she wasn’t going to be home, it was only six thirty and she didn’t get off work until eight or nine. I when straight to the kitchen and decided I was going to surprise her with dinner. I was partly because so she couldn’t say no to letting me say here tonight.

“Cassidy, you are an angel.” She said walking into the kitchen nearly two hours later.

“I knew that already, but it’s about time you noticed.” I said and she flipped me off. “I love you too.”

“No, but seriously thanks,” She said sitting down. “But I know you want something.” She knew me too well.

“Let me stay tonight.”

“You know one of these days you’re going to have to go home.”

“Yeah, I know.” I wasn’t the biggest fan of my parents essentially because I told them I wasn’t going to go to Collage right away. Mainly because I wanted to stay with Tara and help her out, and maybe one day we both could get out of this hell hole. I wasn’t just going to leave her behind because I was all the family she had.