A Dawn I Thought We'd Never See

Talkative Victoria, I dealt with on a regular basis.
Angry Victoria, I could deal with when I had to.
But silent-as-a-mouse Victoria unnerved me.

I knew she was upset, her posture and actions told me that, but she wouldn’t talk to me. We’d set up our table and waited for gates to open in complete silence. She didn’t’ leave the booth all day either. No bathroom breaks, no lunch breaks, not even any sets she wanted to run off and see.

It was driving me mad by the end of the day and I couldn’t’ take it anymore. I dropped the box of shirts at my feet as she struggled to open the van door. “Will you just scream at me already?” Even I was shocked by my yell.

“Scream at you for what?” Victoria crossed her arms over her chest once she recovered.

“Whatever it is that I did to piss you off.” I shrugged and looked down at the box. “Making out with Andrew?”

“You think I’m mad because you snogged some boy?” Victoria asked incredulously. I shrugged again. “Em, you should know me better than that.” Victoria sighed and sat on the vans bumper. “I’m not mad.” She says the words so softly I almost don’t hear them.

“Well you sure do a good job at pretending to be mad at me.” I mumbled and moved to sit beside her.

“I was worried, Em.” Her words are still soft as she stares down at our feet. “The going out at night is my thing, not yours, so first I was scared someone took you. Then I heard where you were and with no calls, well, I thought you were mad at me for trying to set you and Tom up.”

“Vee, I wasn’t mad at all! I left my phone by accident and then passed out last night.” I grabbed her hand and waited until she looked up at me with tearful eyes and a small smile.

“So, we’re okay?” She asked hopefully and I laughed, pulling her into a hug.

“We’re fantastic.” Victoria laughed too and squeezed me.

“Good,” she pulled away from me and wiped at her eyes. “Let’s hurry up and get this shit in the van. I’m starved.”

“Me too,” I jumped up so she could finally open the door. “So Vee,” I started once we were piling boxes into empty seats. She made a hmmm sound. “Does this mean you’re done with trying to get me a boyfriend?”

Victoria laughed and took a box from my hands. “It means I am forever done with trying to get you laid, my dear.”

“That’s good news.” I sighed as I handed her the last box.

“Besides as I hear it, you were coming pretty close to getting laid with Goldstein.” She smirked as she took the box and flung it to the back. My cheeks flushed as she sat on the middle seat and trained her eyes on me. “Can I get the details?” Victoria raised one eyebrow while her smirk turned to a smile.

“If I get to pick where we eat.” She giggled and hopped out of the van.

“Deal.” She cheered and raced to the driver’s seat, starting the engine before I even had the passenger door open.

Victoria was practically bounding in her seat on the road. She got agitated when I changed my mind about where to eat every two minutes. Finally we ended up at Chili’s and she was staring me down from the other side of the table while I looked at the menu.

“I think I’m going to have the loaded nachos. What about you?” I closed my menu and set it down on the table. Victoria scanned hers quickly.

“Southwestern eggrolls.” She responds and we both order when our waitress comes. “So,” she starts as soon as the waitress leaves. “Tell me what happened.”

“I’ll tell you what I remember.” I corrected her and then laced my fingers as I set them on the table.

“What do you mean what you remember?” I held up my hand to stop her.

“After you disappeared last night, Andrew stopped by the tent and invited me to the after party at Denny’s before he informed me of the rumor about Oliver and I. Which I suppose you’ve heard?” She shook her head surprisingly. “Well, everyone thinks Oliver and I are dating. That’s why no one stops by the tent anymore.”

“Oh my,” Victoria muttered and raised her hand to her mouth.

“Yeah, so I got irritate, which my lack of control on my emotions is another thing we need to talk about later, and decided to go to the party with Andrew to prove that Oliver and I aren’t together. But that seemed to blow up in my face.”

“How so?” Victoria raised one eyebrow as the waitress set our drinks down and told us our food would be done in a little while.

“Oh gee, I don’t’ know. I made out with Andrew, cracked my head on asphalt and everyone still thinks Oliver’s my boyfriend.” Realization hit. “Oh dear god. Everyone probably thinks I’m a slut now.”

“What?” Victoria’s eyes widened.

“I mean, if they thought Oliver was my boyfriend and then they saw me making out with Andrew. That equals cheating slut. Great, just great.”

“Calm down Em!” I didn’t even hear her. My mind was way too busy to comprehend what she was saying.

“And Kyle! I can only imagine what Kyle must think of me. Jesus, I am screwed.”

“EMILY!” Victoria yelled and slammed her hands down on the table. I jumped and shut my mouth. “Thank you for your attention.” She sighed and sat up straighter; ignoring the looks everyone was giving her. “What Kyle thinks about you doesn’t matter. What this whole tour thinks about you doesn’t matter. You know the truth and as long as you’re happy with yourself, everything’s fine.”

“Rumors are such a hassle.” I sighed and rested my head on the table.

“Yes, they are but it’s pretty easy to ignore them, or embrace them, like me.”

“Like you?” I raised my head slightly and eyed her bright smile.

“Everyone thinks I bang Cory like every time we have dinner or sneak away from tour when the truth is we haven’t even done it once.” My mouth drops and she shrugs. “He’s just someone I enjoy talking with and vice versa.” I was way too shocked to say anything. “Point being don’t let what other people think about you change what you want to do.”

“You’ve never . . .” I trailed off in disbelief.

“Nope,” Victoria giggled. “Never, but because of his over protectiveness and bragging friends, everyone thinks we have. Even Lee thinks we’ve done something so he gets all crazy around Cory.”

“That’s weird.” I shake my head and dismiss all the recounted memories of nights spent with Norma Jean and the countless images of Victoria and Cory snuggled in bed. “But I guess you’re right. People don’t matter.” Victoria snorted and then I realized how it sounded. I laughed too. “People’s opinions don’t matter.” I corrected.

“Right,” Victoria smiled and held her glass up to cling it with mine. “So I’ve been dying to know, how good of a kisser is this infamous Andrew Goldstein?”

I blushed furiously and was thankfully saved by the waitress approaching with our food.