A Dawn I Thought We'd Never See

Breathe Emily! You’re not going to get anywhere if you don’t fucking breath! I took a gulp of air and let it out slowly. Seven days had gone by since I’d last seen Oliver after the tattoo shop. I’d spent a whole week avoiding him and fretting over what I should do about my feelings.

Victoria had told me to go for him. December (with Matty at her side) had wished me luck and then told me I didn’t need it because her brother was already ‘smitten’ with me. Jack had protested and then childishly pouted. Alex shrugged and said give it a shot. Vicky-T had squealed and tackled me while Gabe complained. Kyle was far too much in shock to give advice and Caleb had stared at me like I was crazy while telling me what a huge asshole Oliver was.

Everyone had their opinion about Oliver and about Oliver and I, but when it came down to it, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself wondering what if.

So here I was, standing outside Bring Me The Horizon’s tour bus at one-thirty in the morning at a mostly deserted gas station. December had made the boys pull over and then dragged them (minus Oliver) into the small store with Victoria’s help. It was just Oliver on the bus and me out here. I sighed and quickly knocked before I lost my nerve. It took a while, but finally the door opened and I swear I almost passed out then and there.

“Emileh?” Oliver blinked hard and wiped at his eyes as if he thought I was a hallucination. Dear Lord, why did he have to be shirtless? That was only going to make this damn harder.

“Hey Oliver.” I managed a smile and a wave. “Is it alright if I come on board?”

“Yeah,” he moved out of the doorway and I counted my breaths as I went up the stairs. “I was jus’ sleepin’ when yeh knocked.” He rubbed at his eyes again for effect.

“I’m sorry.” I frowned.

“’S fine, Emileh.” He waved it off as I sat on the couch and he took the seat next to me uneasily. “’S nice teh see yeh. I thought maybeh yeh was angreh at meh again or somethin’.” He started to scratch the back of his neck and I had to force myself to look away from his body. His tattoos were way too distracting.

“I wasn’t mad.” My voice wavered with my nerves and I saw Oliver arch an eyebrow at me from the corner of my eye.

“So yeh weren’t avoidin’ meh?” I winced and then frowned.

“I kind of was doing that.” I fiddled with my fingers in my lap. “But not because I was angry. I had a few things to settle was all.”

“Oh.” He was still staring at me with a befuddled expression and my stomach dropped as I turned toward him.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” For once in your life Emily, be blunt!

“I’m listenin’.” Oliver looked unsettled as he held perfectly still, like he was preparing for war.

I exhaled heavily. “This is harder than I remember.” I mused as I started to lose myself in his big brown eyes. The green speckles were sparkling again. I wondered how I never noticed them before. “Could you close your eyes?” He raised both his eyebrows this time. “It’ll just make it easier if you’re not looking at me.”

“Okay.” Oliver chuckled as he stretched out the ‘o’ and gently closed his eyes. I bit my bottom lip as I stared at him. He had that oh so peaceful look on his face again, the one that made him look entirely innocent.

I groaned. “Dammit!” I stood up from the couch and started to pace the small area. “Dammit all to fucking hell!”

“I think that’s the most I’ve eveh ‘eard yeh curse.” He laughed and watched me walk side to side. “What’s the matter Em?”

“The matter is it shouldn’t be this fucking difficult just to tell you I like you!” I stomped my foot and crossed my arms like a small child. Oliver’s eyes got real big and I realized what just slipped out of my mouth.

He stood up slowly and took a few steps toward me. “Yeh like meh?” He repeated uncertain.

“I really like you, like can’t stop thinking about you like you.” I bit my lip and waited for his reaction. It wasn’t the most graceful way of telling someone you had feelings for them, but at least it was out there now.

Oliver broke out into a grin. “Well fuck, yeh beat meh teh it.” He chuckled as his hands went to his pockets and he took another step closer. “I like yeh, teh Emileh. A lot.”

“You do?” He nodded. “That’s good, uh, good to know.” I smiled weakly. “What are we supposed to do now?” I blurted and he gave me an unsure look that made me nervous all over again. “I’m sorry. I haven’t done this in awhile and I’ve already almost had a panic attack like six times this morning so I’m a little tired of beating around the bush. It’d be great if you could just tell me where we go—,” My ranting stopped as Oliver closed the distance between us.

His hands grasped my sides, above my hips, and his soft lips pressed against mine. My insides screamed as my fingers traced up his arms and laced behind his neck. It was a sweet, gentle kiss that made me crave more. I pushed myself against Oliver a little harder and gained a low chuckle from him.

That’s when the obnoxiously loud cheering started. I pulled away from Oliver quickly and looked toward the front of the bus. Through the front windshield we could clearly see the rest of Oliver’s band plus Victoria, December, and Tom. They were smiling, laughing, and clapping. I think I even saw December grab Matty and kiss him before I buried my burning face into the crook of Oliver’s neck.

“Everyone’s too damn nosy for their own good.” I complained and clung to him. His arms tightened around me and I smiled reflexively. This was a feeling I could most certainly get used to.

“’Ey Emileh.” I pull my head back enough to look into his pretty green brown eyes questionably. He smiled. “Will yeh be meh girlfriend?” I giggled.

“I would very so much love to be your girlfriend.” I went up on my tiptoes to firmly put my lips on his.

The whooping started again, but this time it was inside. “Aw, look at the cute new love birds!” Victoria squealed while Lee wrapped his arm around her waist. “They’re so damn adorable!”

“Where the fuck is yeh bloody camera now?” December yelled as she smacked Tom on the back of his head.

“Ow! That’s meh bloody ‘ead, bitch!” Tom teased her back and I decided to bury my face in Oliver’s shoulder before they brought out the camera.

“’Ey! Watch ‘ow yeh talk teh meh bird.” Matty piped in and I felt Oliver tense immediately.

“Yeh’re bird?” His older brotherly tone made me muffle my giggle against his skin.

“Oh shut it, Oleh!” I listened to December roll her eyes. “Yeh alreadeh gave ‘im the no sex talk.”

“Oooo, no sex for Matteh!” Matt laughed and then something hit my back, making me pull away from Oliver.

“Sorry Em!” December frowned. “I was aimin’ for the twat behind yeh.”

“So now I’m a twat, eh?” I turned to see Matt clutching at his chest. “That ‘urts, Dee. It realleh does.”

“Stuff it then an’ pour meh a drink.” She plopped down on the couch with Matty at her right.

“It’s a bit early to be drinking. Don’t you think December?” Jona took a seat on her left and smirked.

“Don’t matteh the time. We’re celebratin’ an’ tha’ means we drink!”

“Pour me one too, Matt!” Victoria agreed and I shook my head at the two.

“What is it we’re celebrating, exactly?” I inquired curiously as I turned slightly in Oliver’s arms. I loved that he still had them around me.

“Yeh two knock ‘eads finally knockin’ ‘eads togethah.” December grinned sloppily while I stored at her bewildered.

I was about to ask her what the strange phrase meant when I felt Oliver’s lips brush ever so lightly at the back of my neck. My reaction was instinctive.

“What eveh the fuck yeh jus’ did teh make ‘er make that face ‘s not allowed teh be done in the front room evah again!” Tom pointed at us sternly with his left hand while his right hand cradled his camera.

Oliver laughed while I flushed a dark red. “Now smile right!” He held his camera up and I groaned.

“Kiss ‘er, Oleh!” December instructed and then giggled. Oliver tipped me to the side and I couldn’t help but giggle too before I cupped his face and brought it to mine. The flash went off as our lips touched but I didn’t let Oliver go.

I am definitely going to get used to this feeling.