Out of Focus

"Isabella congratulations. You've graduated!"

No, they don't mean I've graduated high school or college. I've graduated from Sick Minds or as the people who run the place call it, Sweet Pines Hospital. I like to think of the tag line as, "Where we make you sane again!' Some how I don't think they would appreciate it that much. In fact they would probably just lock me back up in the white room.



I stare out the car window at the empty fields as we drive by.
"Where are you driving mom?" I ask.
"To your Aunt Libby's."
"Oh cool. I haven't seen Libby in forever."
She's silent. "I'm taking you to live there Isabella."
I yell suprised, "Live! What you don't want me?! Is it because I'm nuts? I'm sure that's it and look Libby is the only one who cares enough to take care of me!"
"I do care about you sweetie. That's why your going to Libs. She took care of me and she'll take care of you. She loves you even if she really isn't your aunt."

No Aunt Libby isn't my aunt. She's actually my moms best friend from college. I only get to see her when she comes for holidays or my moms birthday which isn't very often. I've never even meant her son. She took care of my mom when my dad left and put her back up on her feet. She stayed with us for six months. Then one day she got a call from her husband. He'd left their son alone and her wasn't coming back. He cared more for Debra than him. She might as well, "cross over to the lesbo world," as he said it. Which isn't true. My mom has had a steady relationship for a while with a guy named Steve. If I didn't ruin it for her with my suicide attempt.

"What about Alice? I told her I was coming back."
"She already new you weren't. I called her last weekend."

I stay silent. She deserves it. Some mother already giving up on me and I haven't even been released for an hour.

"Can we at least stop at home so I can get some of my stuff?"
"A moving truck is following us."

Sure enough I look in the mirror and see a Grey's Moving truck behind us. Steve's company, how convenient.

"Steve's driving. He's taking me back home and I'm leaving this car for you." I take a good look at it. I noticed it was new in the parking lot at the hospital but I didn't really look. A brand new silver Saturn VUE. Nice. Very nice. I think I like Steve a lot, I smile.

"You can keep it as long as you don't try anything funny." She means as long as I don't try to A. Hang myself. B. Cut my wrist open, or my latest, C. O.D. on two bottles of pills.

"I won't," I say.
And I mean it too. I really want to be better this time. I'm sick of psychologists and doctors and nurses in those ugly shoes with the holes. Yuck.

"You got my photography stuff right?" I ask.
"Yes Izzy but I don't know what use it will be with no dark room."

I sigh and fall asleep until I hear the tires go up the driveway to my new home.