Out of Focus

I continued dating Tim. He said nothing of his sister & I didn't either. Things stayed that way. 
I had joined theater at lhs & was planning on going out for the lead in the play. It was suppose to be fun. Aunt Libby was my support. 
She was in fact so supportive she convinced Justin to join. He did this without the knowledge I was joining too.
Libby also encouraged me to sing in the spring talent show. I did this without the knowledge that Justin played in it every year. And was in charge of the whole event. 

I auditioned for both. I got the lead in the play as Annabella. Suiting huh? Two days after I was given my role, with Rebecca as my fill-in, Justin was given the role of David.

"Well that couldn't have worked out more perfectly. I didn't really want a lead role & I won't really have to go on stage." "Unless I hurt myself." she gives me a look but I cut her off, "No. I'm not going to purposely hurt myself. I'm good."
"Bella. My beautiful Isabella." Tim comes up behind me & wraps his arms around my waist, kissing the side of my neck. "Hey babe." "So...it's Friday. And tomorrow officially starts off spring break which is very suiting because it's the first really warm day." 
He was right. It was the first day the sun had been out in months. It was suppose to be in the 60's all week. It was perfect. "It is beautiful." "I was thinking, we could go to the lake tonight. Then later is the concert." "Mmmmm that sounds good." I smile. 
Then I see Kaden come up behind Becca. "Ready for rebearseal?" "Yeah. Come on Bella. Stop making out in the hall." "Mmm," I groan into Tim's chest as I turn around, "I gotta go." "Ditch? Please?" "I can't. I need to learn my lines. And Justin & I have to learn our duet tonight too." he frowns. "So we can practice over break. I really do have to go." 
"Okay. But tonight: you are mine." I laugh, "Okay. Bye Tim." "Bye Is." 

...

"Okay so you two will learn the song together? "Yes Mrs. Drexel." Justin says. "You'll practice over break?" "Yes Mrs. Drexel." 
"You two will get together over break & practice?" "We live in the same house Mrs. Drexel. It'd be kinda hard not too." I say. "Oh right. I forgot. Well just practice. Practice. Practice. Now off with all of you! Have a good spring break!"

As I'm back stage changing out of my practice sweats Justin comes in. As he walks in his eyes land on my left thigh. 
"Bella. Oh Bell-" "Don't tell anyone. Please."
He stands there for I don't know how long. "Only if you tell me why. Then I might consider it."
"I don't really know why. Just stress. A little homesickness I suppose." "Homesickness? Really?" "Not home like my mom just missing Alice. You being mad. Tim being mad."
He nods his head then disappears for a few minutes & comes back with a first aid kit. "Okay sit." 
As I sit he cleans the cut on my leg. After it's clean he starts bandedging it up.
"The cut will need cleaned for a few weeks. It should go away in a month or so." "You're qualified to do this?" "Yeah. I have to be, well had to be, for athletics back in the day." "Oh." "Just don't do it again Bella." "I won't."
   
As I walk out I run I to Becca & Kaden. Becca bumps me with her hip into Kaden. "That lady is batty." "Oh Becca come on. She's nice." "Yeah. Real nice." says Kaden, "Practically forceing you & Justin to work together when you two practically hate eachother now. Yeah real nice. Super nice." "Oh shush." I say. 
"So, when is Tim picking you up for 'the lake' tonight?" she motions her hands in quotations. 
"Um about sevenish. Why?" "Well um personal experience: when I first came here I went out with Tim, just once & let's just say he likes moving fast." "Okkkaayyy." "Well unless you want to go that far so fast I think you would want me or Kaden close by. Just in case." 
"Becca--" "Please?" "No." She crosses her arms. In frustration or fury I'm not sure & stalks off toward her car.
"Bella it would make her feel better." Seeing the look I'm giving him he adds, "It would make me feel better too." "Fine. But the both of you & like across the lake or something okay? Otherwise it's to creepish." "Okay. Deal."

***

We'd been making out in his car for a good fifteen minutes. Things had begun slow but were quickly escalating. At least for Tim. Yes, I know I went fast with Justin but that was because things had felt right. At this moment, things didn't feel right. I didn't want to have sex with Tim. Not now. Not yet. It was to soon. If ever.  
As he starts messing with the straps on my bra it's okay. Then he traces his fingers along my side to my waist line & tugs at the hem of my jeans. I hesitate. "Come on Is. All I wanna do is mess around just a little. I just wanna make you happy. I can make you happy." So I let him pull them off.  

"Please. Is I want you. I want to so bad." I shove. "No. I'm not having sex." "Bella." he growls. I try to sit up but he shoves me down against the floor of the car. I start to scream but he crams his hand over my mouth. 
Then I hear the engine of a car. Justins car. He stops as the car pulls in next to us. "Damn't." he says, "Get dressed & get out." Relieved I get dressed. 
But as I go to open the door he puts his hands around my neck. "Tell anyone, Justin pays. Got it?" I nod my head.  
He lets me out & I run from the car straight into Justin. 

"Bell--" "How long did Becca date Tim?" I say in a rush. "Um only two weeks. He tried pushing her to far." "To have sex?" "Yes." he says slowly. "Oh." 
"Bella? What's wrong?" "Nothing. It's fine. I'm fine." Giving me a doubtful look Becca runs up & saves the day. It seems like she's always doing that. 
"Bella there you are!" "I've been looking for you. We need to do your hair before the show." "I'm coming Becca." 
A few feet away she says, "Sooooo what happened?" I consider telling her. I then consider the fact that she would tell Kaden who in turn would tell Justin who would probably confront Tim. I didn't want that. 
"Justin pulled in so I left. It kinda stopped things." "Aw damn."
"Actually I don't know. I think it was a good thing."

I stand in front of the mirror after Becca fixes my knotted hair. No wonder Justin asked me if I was okay. My hair looked as of I'd been walking through a jungle. 
I adjusted my outfit. A black shirt with short lace sleeves, a black loose vest over that, my black slouch boots, & new really cute, grey skinny jeans with black cheetah print on them. My makeup was done smokey & my dark hair hung in loose waves down my back. 

"Bella?" "Yeah Justin?" "You want to help me introduce the show?" "Tim was suppose to." "He refuses. He left. Did you guys have a fight?" "No." I snap, "Although you sounded just a little to hopeful with that suggestion." 
"No! I just wondered. Have you talked to him about..." "No. It's better that way. He doesn't need that." "Bella." "I'll be there in a second." 
He turns & walks toward the curtains. I apply my lipgloss take a deep breath & follow. 

"Okay guys go on!" Kaden whispers.
"Hey wonderful audience!" Justin shouts. "Tonight we will be hoasting the benefit concert for Hayley James." "I'm you hoast Bella." "And I'm your hoast Justin."

After the breed, a couple of boy bands, & Even Enemies, a girl & boy mix band there is one person left. A solo act.  
"Our last performer of the night is Rebecca Ray. She will be performing There for You by Flyleaf."
We exit the stage & Becca takes the center.

"Thank you Becca." Justin says as we walk back on, "Tonight Hayley is in the hospital. We felt we had to hold this concert because we need to recognize that people who attempt suicide have real problems." 
"Whether these problems lay at home or within your social circles suicide is never the answer. These victims need help. Support & love."
"The money will be going towards her hospital bills. Thanks to all of you."

As I start walking towards my car at the end of the night I see Justin on stage hugging some girl. "Oh god." 
I turn & run behind a tree where they can't see me. 
I watch as he takes out his aucoustic guitar & sits on the edge of the stage with the girl. 
He starts playing a song. A song I've never heard but have heard him strum the chords to. A song he wrote. 

I don't stay to hear it. Instead I run toward my car with the rain pouring & tears in my eyes as I trip the whole way there. Noooo.
I slam my door shut, start the car, & see Justin looking my way as I start to back out.
BELLA!!       

I don't stop. And when I get home I run up the stairs & slam my door. A few minutes later I hear Justin come in. And through my door, "Bella. Please. I'm sorry. It's not what you think!" 
"No. Just go away! I HATE YOU!"

***

At 3 a.m. I walk into Justins room glance into his bathroom & scream. I scream like I've never screamed before in my life.